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Old 04-08-2012, 09:28 PM   #51
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We don't tell until we've decided. If I said, "We're thinking about _____," people seemed to think it was an invitation for suggestions and critiques. If I said, "_____ if it's a girl and _________ if it's a boy," they were more likely to move on. With both of my boys, my mom responded with, "That's a black name!" My mom's the only one who would do that with me, though. I have a very decisive atitude, and most people don't feel a need to give me their input unless I ask.


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Old 04-08-2012, 09:32 PM   #52
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Re: Judging names?

We learned our lesson after the first 2.

Can't please everyone. Someone is always going to have a problem with a choice YOU make for YOUR child.. and you'll learn that it doesn't normally just end with the name once you have kids. lol

We kept Levi's name a Secret. We didn't say that we were keeping it a secret though, probably the worst thing you can do unless you like to be harassed. lol I just said we hadn't talked about it yet.. and we never did.. My mom was my biggest problem. Everyone else would ask, (a couple close friends knew the name) but I'd just say the same thing.. weeks left in the pregnancy turned to days left and my mom was stressing because I hadn't talked about names yet! Bounce some ideas off her, that might help get me thinking about names.. Umm what she didn't know is it was settled about 2 weeks after I found out he was a boy. lol I didn't want to talk about it. It was just stressful to talk about names with her. She was my problem! lol she was WHY I didn't talk about it. lol

But it worked. No one has said a negative thing about the name to me since he's been born.. even my mom, who I know hates the name, hasn't come straight out and told me she doesn't like it. She's asked me what I thought of it, and she was actually crying when we got home from the hospital and she found out we had been "knocking around names" the entire time (I never told her we had a settled name)

I liked keeping the secret. Made things interesting. I would totally do it that way again.
Jennifer; Mom to:
Miranda Isabel(ASD/Anxiety/ODD/SPD) (10) Jacob David(Anxiety/SPD)(6)
& Levi Alexander(ASD/Anxiety/SPD) (3)
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Old 04-08-2012, 11:04 PM   #53
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My family has never told me they didnt like the names we picked out. I have some pretty uncommon names for my kids too. (at least uncommon for around here in our small town). Avy (similar to abby), zayden and riley. Riley is common around here, but his middle name is kyson. Lol.

Anywho, i told people my daughters name and they loved it. They did want me to name her "avigail" and just call her avy, but i HATE the idea of naming your kid one name and calling them another... (like, naming me brittni, just to have everyone around me call me If you did that, more power to you, its your kid, but i dont like that for my kids. Lol. With my twins though, i didnt even know the names i was going to use until a few days before they were born. I had first named them gavin and liam but hubby didnt approve so i settled on xaeden and lucas. He picked xaeden, i picked lucas....then when they were born 6 weeks early, baby a looked like both names and baby b didnt really fit either name. So i named baby a Zayden Lucas (changed the spelling because i didnt want it to be too confusing to people) and after 4 days of going over names in a freak out mode, i remembered that hubby had a friend from the military named riley kent. I didnt want to name our son with the exact name as that would be kind of creepy (even though i love the name and how it flows) we somehow came up with riley kyson. So nobody knew their names until after they were born. (hubby was deployed the whole pregnancy so it was hard to talk names....)

For this baby, it will be a surprise on the gender and name. We found out the genders of the others, but this one we didnt. We will also reveal the name at the end, even though like i said, i have never really said a name that my family didnt like. Or at least didnt say so. Lol.

With that said, im sure they have thought badly of my name choices, they just kept their mouths shut. I didnt like some of the names they picked out, but i never said anything to them, except for constructive criticism (which they did for me too, like pointing out that we are about to give the baby the initials f.a.t. or or saying "well, what about this spelling instead of that one" but nobody ever really listens to each other. Like, my sister named her dd jordyn. I cant stand that she used a "y" but it really doesnt bother me that much when i see my neice. Lol.
Brittni ~ wife to Harlan, Mommy to Avy (5) , Zayden (2) & Riley (2) & Roman (July 31, 2012)
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Old 04-09-2012, 04:32 AM   #54
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Re: Judging names?

Originally Posted by amandacv86 View Post
I'm just TTC, and in my 2ww, but this is bothering me. For years I wanted to name my daughter Evelyn. My OH likes the name, but I told my family that's what I wanted to name my future daughter. They had a very strong objection because "every one will think she's named after Auntie Evelyn"...who was a grouchy old lady. (My grandpa's brother's wife) This was my mom, aunts, sister, and grandma. I still like the name and she wouldn't be named after anyone, it's just because I like the name.

My OH's Grandpa's middle name is Alanson(the second a is prounounced like the a in bat), which is also his dads, first sons, and OH's brothers middle name. He hasn't asked, but every time we talk about having kids he talks about it, lol. So I was thinking Henry Alanson... because Henry is my grandpa's middle name, so he would be named after both grandpa's. OH doesn't like the name, so of course we wouldn't use it, but when I told my OH's aunt I liked the name she said "now that would be mean" and was all negative about it. I told her it's actually pretty popular right now and one of my third cousins just named their baby Henry(Grandpa's sisters great grandson. I've seen his mom maybe once in 10 years)

So far we're thinking we won't tell anyone in real life our baby's name until he or she is here and born, and no one will say anything.

So what have you guys done in these situations? Have you let it change your opinions?
When people ask about names... we've always given them a list of ones we like... not one name, like 12... instead of telling us ones they don't like, they usually say which ones they do like.

I feel you on the Evelyn name. I LOVE that name! LOVE it! But my husband has an aunt who no one gets along with and guess what her name is... So he refused to let that be on our list! Well, my sister had a son and named him Everett and we call him Evie (the nickname I was gonna have for Evelyn) so it worked out... I Still get to call SOMEONE Evie!

And I think Henry is a kind, wonderful name.

Don't let other's thoughts sway you. YOU are gonna have to say your child's name for the next 60 years so you better love the one you pick!
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Old 04-09-2012, 04:59 AM   #55
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Re: Judging names?

We don't tell names before the birth. I don't want others opinions. Name your baby what you want, it's YOUR baby!
Jill~Married the Love of My Life, Craig (03/27/10), Mama to Asher 01/07/11 & Esmé 04/15/12 & EDD 02/09/14
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:02 PM   #56
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Re: Judging names?

We didn't share the kids' names until they were born. It's so much easier that way. People are less likely to tell you annoying stories about why they hate a name after the babe is born.
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:35 PM   #57
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Re: Judging names?

I wish not telling would make my family be more polite. Even if they try to be nice about something you can always tell what they mother is especially bad at pretending to like things. That being said with DS we really didn't decide until he was born, we didn't know the gender. For a boy we were debating btwn. Samuel and Eduardo (named after DH). I let DH decide and once he found out it was a boy his face was beaming and he really wanted to name DS after him. I really don't like the name but it was important to him so now we have our little Eduardo. The other day we were going in the grocery story and DS looks up at DH and said "we are both Eduardo Trevino" He really looks up to his daddy and he was happy to have his name. It made it all worth it in the end.

Pick what makes you happy. You cant please everyone. So long as you can tell your child how much you loved them when they were born and that you really loved that name for them you've done your best. I know DD loves hearing stories about when she was a baby and I did when I grow up. I want those stories to be filled with love and meaning. So when my kids ask why they received their name it will be because I loved them and I gave them a name I loved (in DS's case I gave him a name that meant a lot to me because his daddy means a lot to me!). I don't want the name to be filled with the history of "well i loved a dfferent name but everyones opinion got me down!"
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:48 PM   #58
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I love the name Ianto pronounced yawntow. Everyone except DH hated it as well as the alternate Zephyr. So stupid me, I ditched them and named my twins Preston and Desmond, which everyone loves. One of my besties complained about Ianto, and she named her son Amadeus. I can't believe I let people make me change the names I liked for my boys. Name your child what you want to name her and the heck with everyone else.

PS Evelyn was on my list for girls. I love it. ;-)
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:54 PM   #59
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Re: Judging names?

This is why we don't tell anyone the names we're considering. With DS we waited until about a month before he was born to announce what his name would be, and we did it in a definite way so no one would be inclined to offer their opinion (we sent a Xmas card signed from the 3 of us).

With DD, we haven't decided on a name, and when people ask I just say we haven't decided but I don't tell them what the options are. If they ask directly about the names we're considering, I politely change the subject. I've realized that when it comes to babies, people can't help giving opinions or butting in, so don't give them the chance.
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:58 PM   #60
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Re: Judging names?

I don't tell anyone the names I'm considering or decided of for this reason. I don't want others' input at all. It seems like every time I run name by ANYONE, they have an opinion that somehow taints the name. So with this one will know the name I've chosen until she is already named and I tell them her name. I think after it's said and done, people don't feel they have the same right to give you their opinion because it's rude at that point!
Valerie ~ Single Student Mama to four big kids and one brand new baby girl Lennon (04/17/12) and who recently relapsed into cloth diaper addiction after 8 years clean!
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