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Old 04-06-2012, 06:41 AM   #1
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help me deal with annoying "Baby here?" questions

I'm not answering my phone, I do NOT respond to text messages that say this from anyone, but today a friend who SHOULD be understanding and supportive (big supporter of natural birth - has had two natural VBACs herself, one at home) put publically on my facebook wall "Full moon tonight, baby yet!?" despite my MANY facebook status updates warning NOT to ask that question along with a handful of shared articles talking about a due date not being an expiration date. I know for a fact she's read them all, because she's liked or commented on ALL of them, yet is NOT taking the hint.

I've ignored her daily txts/facebook chat messages up until now (yes, they've been DAILY since my EDD - and she was even asking periodically as far as two weeks BEFORE my EDD even though I explained I'd likely go overdue, I was having NO symptoms and that I'd call her when I had baby and to please stop asking), but even though I don't respond to her daily txts/messages, it doesn't change how it makes me feel. I've been an emotional mess. I've been bawling my eyes out because I'm so emotionally invested in a VBAC and yet showing no progress (no effacement, no dilation, baby still high, no contractions, not even BHs) and every time she asks this, all these feelings of "YOUR BODY IS A FAILURE" come up all over again.

So, any one have THE perfect, snarky, straight to the point response to such people? (I've already posted something saying something along the lines of "yes, I've had the baby. I'm hiding him in my closet and not announcing the birth and wearing this fat suit for FUN!" apparently that wasn't straight forward enough because she's still asking)

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Old 04-06-2012, 07:14 AM   #2
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Re: help me deal with annoying "Baby here?" questions

Honestly, I am not at all one for confrontation or snarky comments, BUT I've been there and it's unbelieveably frustrating. If it were me I'd probably say something like "well unless the baby crawled out in the middle of the night, NO!"

There is a woman I work with that had something to say every.single.morning my last month of my last pregnancy. The week before P was born I walked by her desk one morning and she said (with a smile) You STILL haven't had that baby?! I snapped back, without even thinking, "clearly not!" That was the last time she said anything. lol
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Old 04-06-2012, 08:01 AM   #3
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Re: help me deal with annoying "Baby here?" questions

I told my mom who lived with me 11 days before he was born that I would tell her if anything was going on and I didn't want to hear a single question about whether I was having contractions, etc.
Other people I was pretty nice to, but I did start to break down around 6 days past my EDD and I just avoided association with people that I knew so that I wouldn't have to answer questions.
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Old 04-06-2012, 08:08 AM   #4
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Re: help me deal with annoying "Baby here?" questions

Be really snarky, or play dumb. I ran across one of my drivers the other day and he yelled out the window "you havn't dropped that thing yet?" I was in a bad mood and yelled back "well, obviously!" touching my belly "generally not a good idea to drop newborns anyway - it doesn't end well."

People are dense. Be blunt. On your facebook put something like "why does everyone think I"m going to keep the baby's birth a secret??! Please people, when I have ANYTHING to report about baby's birth, I'll post it. Honest! I'm just as anxious as you are about it, and the constant questions are not helping!"
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Old 04-06-2012, 08:13 AM   #5
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Re: help me deal with annoying "Baby here?" questions

defriend her, LOL. sorry, I couldn't resist. Last time, my dad kept asking me a MONTH before the baby was due and I was like, I HOPE NOT< I DONT WANT A PREEMIE. Tell her she will be the LAST to know if she keeps bugging you. Tell her you already had the baby but aren't sharing the deets. tell her to stfu (sorry, I am due in about 9 wks and am kinda snarky )
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Old 04-06-2012, 08:17 AM   #6
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Re: help me deal with annoying "Baby here?" questions

ooh, here we go. Make an announcement that the next person who asks if the baby is here yet or not is going to be volunteering to do all your laundry including the diapers for the next month.
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Old 04-06-2012, 08:51 AM   #7
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I'd post something on Facebook like "I appreciate that you're all really excited about our baby's arrival. I ask that everyone please stop the questions about whether the baby is here yet. It simply reminds me that he/she isn't and only results in frustration for everyone. At this point, I'm going to start ignoring/defriending those who can't be patient and wait for our announcement. Thanks for understanding."

Then change your answering machine to say "you've reached the X's. No, the baby isn't here yet. This message will change once baby arrives."

(I had this issue with my DD (who was 10 days 'overdue' after 7 weeks of bedrest. It's why very, very few people know my due date with this baby. When asked, I just say June.)

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Old 04-06-2012, 09:05 AM   #8
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Re: help me deal with annoying "Baby here?" questions

you can suspend your facebook account i beleive and open it back up when you are ready.

I would just delete the comment....that should be clear enough.
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Old 04-06-2012, 09:09 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by tygr2410
you can suspend your facebook account i beleive and open it back up when you are ready.

I would just delete the comment....that should be clear enough.
This is what I would do. or just stay off facebook! I have been purposely very "facebook quiet" about this pregnancy because my friends forget when I am due.
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Old 04-06-2012, 10:03 AM   #10
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Re: help me deal with annoying "Baby here?" questions

I remember the frustration of people asking at that point, and how annoying it was, as if I wouldn't tell anyone when I had the baby.

But at the same time, she is probably just really excited for you. My BIL and SIL are due with my first niece or nephew in July and I am SO excited to meet that baby! I'm going to try to keep my comments to a minimum because I do remember how frustrating it was, but I would be happy if they decided to share every detail and want to talk about it all of the time because I am anxious to meet that little one!

I would honestly just ignore it, telling people to stop or making snarky comments just makes you look like a crabby pregnant woman (which I totally was at that point!). Change the subject, talk about the baby's nursery, or the new clothes you just bought. Most likely people just want to be able to share in the joy that a new baby brings, as annoying as it can be!
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