View Poll Results: Is it ok for SO to take kids to strangers' houses without running it by you?
yes 67 75.28%
no 12 13.48%
other 4 4.49%
only if he has a good reason. 6 6.74%
Voters: 89. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-09-2012, 06:50 PM   #1
shortcake2386's Avatar
shortcake2386
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 26,069
My Mood:
do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

just curious. dh thinks im weird. im really uncomfortable with him taking the kids to peoples' houses who i do not know. today he was going to run errands and i called bc he was gone a long time with ds(23 months) and dinner was ready and he was at his friend's parents house. his friend is 40+ (dh is 29) and single and even though i like him, i wouldnt let my kids at his house. i dont know his parents at all, didnt even know they existed. i told dh to come home bc its dinner time but im not comfortable with this. its not the first time either. (last time it was an aunt of his i never met. maybe great aunt. im not sure.)
i have my reasons but mainly being that dh tends to hang out and not watch the kids, ok at home. not ok in a new non child proof environment, kwim? also all were preemies and have issues with cigarette smoke so we dont go to smokers' houses. and honestly i dont want them snuggling up with my baby even outside
so what do you think? am i too hormonal and controlling? would you be ok with SO taking kids to strangers' houses?

ETA: in this particular situation dh did not know the people either, just their son. he was going bc his friend was there and he was nearby and the parents wanted to see ds. so its not like he would know ahead of time the condition of the house or anything.

FWIW i rarely take the kids to people's houses except for like organized playdates or dinner with friends. we dont pop in on anyone(but i usually have all 3 and that just seems wrong lol)

Advertisement

__________________
JoAnna,wife to my first love Michael and SAHM to Mackenzie Grace(7 years), Makaela Lynn(5years),^^Meaghan Elise^^ born sleeping July 18, 2009. and Malakai Vincent(3 years) and Mackenna Kate(1year)and one DOG
NEW trainer testers MotherGoose Designs ETSY store "Green co-ops" shoeszoos, diapers,squeeze pops

Last edited by shortcake2386; 04-09-2012 at 07:03 PM.
shortcake2386 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2012, 06:55 PM   #2
ThreadsThatBind
Registered Users
Formerly: Lucy'sMommy
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 5,577
My Mood:
Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

I can't imagine telling my dh that he couldn't decide where to take HIS children. I understand your concerns and I'm protective in those ways as well. But he's their parent as well. I trust him to keep them safe, even if it isn't the "perfect" environment.
__________________
Wahmommy to 3 little girls!
ThreadsThatBind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2012, 06:57 PM   #3
shortcake2386's Avatar
shortcake2386
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 26,069
My Mood:
Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThreadsThatBind View Post
I can't imagine telling my dh that he couldn't decide where to take HIS children. I understand your concerns and I'm protective in those ways as well. But he's their parent as well. I trust him to keep them safe, even if it isn't the "perfect" environment.
i get that thats why i was asking. i tend to be a little controlling when it comes to the kids(what the eat, where they go, etc) and it may just bother me more that he didnt call to lmk he was going to be later, kwim?
__________________
JoAnna,wife to my first love Michael and SAHM to Mackenzie Grace(7 years), Makaela Lynn(5years),^^Meaghan Elise^^ born sleeping July 18, 2009. and Malakai Vincent(3 years) and Mackenna Kate(1year)and one DOG
NEW trainer testers MotherGoose Designs ETSY store "Green co-ops" shoeszoos, diapers,squeeze pops
shortcake2386 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2012, 07:01 PM   #4
pcjs's Avatar
pcjs
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 14,206
Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

Other, yes as I trust my husband's judgement BUT he would not take our son into a smoking house as he wouldn't want to be in it either.
__________________
Mom to my wonderfully sweet toddler who is the joy of our lives. :
pcjs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2012, 07:01 PM   #5
Aingeru
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 147
Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

I trust my DH's judgement. There's some people's house I wouldn't be OK with him taking the kids to, but I know he wouldn't want to either. (if he did I would make a fuss about it, but the chance of that happening is extremely low)

I would be upset about him not calling if he was running late, though.
Aingeru is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2012, 07:01 PM   #6
tasundance's Avatar
tasundance
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,046
Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

I say yes but in reality my dh doesnt really know anyone that I dont know so I guess its never been an issue.
__________________
Tricia~31 Married for 13 years to Chad~36. Semi Crunchy mama to Aurora~12, Ethan~10, Jacob~8, Annika~5, Makenna~4, Niko James~3, Cyrus~1 and blessing #8 due 10/10/15
tasundance is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2012, 07:02 PM   #7
ThreadsThatBind
Registered Users
Formerly: Lucy'sMommy
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 5,577
My Mood:
Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

Quote:
Originally Posted by shortcake2386 View Post
i get that thats why i was asking. i tend to be a little controlling when it comes to the kids(what the eat, where they go, etc) and it may just bother me more that he didnt call to lmk he was going to be later, kwim?
I totally understand! I've learned to turn a blind (ok half closed) eye sometimes. He and I regularly make different parenting decisions. Neither right or wrong, just different. I try to remind myself that we both have the girl's best interest in mind and wouldn't let harm come to them, even if we execute that in different ways.
__________________
Wahmommy to 3 little girls!
ThreadsThatBind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2012, 07:05 PM   #8
shortcake2386's Avatar
shortcake2386
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 26,069
My Mood:
Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tasundance View Post
I say yes but in reality my dh doesnt really know anyone that I dont know so I guess its never been an issue.


ETA: in this particular situation dh did not know the people either, just their son. he was going bc his friend was there and he was nearby and the parents wanted to see ds.

so its not like he could be sure they were nonsmoking or whatever. just a spur of the moment decision....maybe i should trust him more
__________________
JoAnna,wife to my first love Michael and SAHM to Mackenzie Grace(7 years), Makaela Lynn(5years),^^Meaghan Elise^^ born sleeping July 18, 2009. and Malakai Vincent(3 years) and Mackenna Kate(1year)and one DOG
NEW trainer testers MotherGoose Designs ETSY store "Green co-ops" shoeszoos, diapers,squeeze pops
shortcake2386 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2012, 07:06 PM   #9
shortcake2386's Avatar
shortcake2386
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 26,069
My Mood:
Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThreadsThatBind View Post
I totally understand! I've learned to turn a blind (ok half closed) eye sometimes. He and I regularly make different parenting decisions. Neither right or wrong, just different. I try to remind myself that we both have the girl's best interest in mind and wouldn't let harm come to them, even if we execute that in different ways.
good point dh is actually more over protective than i am of certain things. we just have different things we stress out about(maybe not the right term, im tired)
__________________
JoAnna,wife to my first love Michael and SAHM to Mackenzie Grace(7 years), Makaela Lynn(5years),^^Meaghan Elise^^ born sleeping July 18, 2009. and Malakai Vincent(3 years) and Mackenna Kate(1year)and one DOG
NEW trainer testers MotherGoose Designs ETSY store "Green co-ops" shoeszoos, diapers,squeeze pops
shortcake2386 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2012, 07:08 PM   #10
Reuben Christopher's Avatar
Reuben Christopher
Registered Users
Formerly: unbreakableangel
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Idaho
Posts: 9,999
My Mood:
Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

It would totally bug me. Dh isn't home with them all day so he doesn't know their cues and things as well as I do. I am a total mama bear though and I am not trusting of people at all. They have to earn my trust. My children are the most precious things to me in the whole world, call me overprotective if you want (and many do) but that's my feelings on the matter. I want to be able to know who is influencing them and what enviroment they are in. I don't think that is bad. Plus I am much more aware of them than dh is. He is use to me being the one to take charge with them and keep tabs on them so he might not think to check on them if they are in another room for a few minutes or might think it's ok for them to go in another room with an older child to play, even no knowing that child, where I wouldn't let them because I don't know if the child has any issues or has been abused. All these things I think about and they rarely, if ever, cross his mind. So looong post short. I would, in all actuality, be upset about it.
__________________
The Tiny Panda
like us on facebook! We make Dragons, Woolies, Hats, Cocoons, Gnomes & More!
Wahm Wares Page
ISO/IHA!
Reuben Christopher is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.