DC one day a week for alone time with DH? What do you think?

[watermelon]

To the OP...do it! No question...if your relationship w/ hubby is good you will be a better Mommy and your children will be better adjusted and happier. Your whole family deserves this!

Originally Posted by NATTYBATSMOM I wish I could get my husband to do this. I wish I could get him to spend two hours with me at home even without having to scream and yell and basically browbeat him into it. I have tried explaining to him time and time and time and time again that I need one to one time with him and he doesn't get it. He wants us to spend time together as a family which I'm not against but seriously, I spend all day with the girls every day and I need ADULT time not time where my oldest is being a brat because she has to have daddy's attention all...the...time and my youngest is clamoring to nurse. I want to go out on a date or heck, just go out for some ice cream! He was actually talking about going out last Friday and because it was Good Friday, I couldn't find someone to babysit. Well, then he got an invitation to go to a church member's house for dinner. He went and I stayed home with the girls and he came back talking about this really nice dinner he had that was freaking prime rib! If I had known how lonely I would feel in a MARRIAGE, I never would have gotten married and if I had known just how much kids ruin a marriage, I never would have had them. I'm SO done with fighting and trying to get him to understand that I need HIS time, that I have needs that need to be met too. Just getting tired of fighting and I really do wonder sometimes why I still even try. Probably because I figure once I do leave, my chance of ever finding anyone else will be zilch. And I know I need to find a job and be working because we really need the money but at the same time, I'm afraid to because I worry it's going to make things worse. At the same time though, I wonder if maybe I'm not around as much if that might make him actually miss me a little bit. I don't know. I'm just so lonely for adult interaction and I don't have a lot of friends and it's gotten harder to find and make friends because of DH and his religious beliefs.

and more My first marriage was this. I had 4 babies in 5 years and did it all basically alone. My husband wouldn't take me out unless we went as a family and honestly preferred to go alone or take the oldest or oldest 2 with him. I begged him for years to consider our relationship while he continually told me I was lucky to be married to him and that he should divorce me. Finally when I gave up he decided we should go to counseling where the counselor tore him apart for everything he owned up to doing. Maybe you could get some support through counseling. I hope your husband has a change of heart. You, he, and your children deserve that!

[thealmightyme]

I agree, do it.

[NATTYBATSMOM]

Originally Posted by watermelon To the OP...do it! No question...if your relationship w/ hubby is good you will be a better Mommy and your children will be better adjusted and happier. Your whole family deserves this!

I wish my husband would understand this. I have tried to explain this to him. When I don't get my batteries recharged, my ability to take care of my children is affected. I hate being a SAHM and have come to resent it and I'm not planning to work just to have something I can feel good about and to maybe feel I'm appreciated in some way even if it's nothing more than a paycheck.

Originally Posted by watermelon and more My first marriage was this. I had 4 babies in 5 years and did it all basically alone. My husband wouldn't take me out unless we went as a family and honestly preferred to go alone or take the oldest or oldest 2 with him. I begged him for years to consider our relationship while he continually told me I was lucky to be married to him and that he should divorce me. Finally when I gave up he decided we should go to counseling where the counselor tore him apart for everything he owned up to doing. Maybe you could get some support through counseling. I hope your husband has a change of heart. You, he, and your children deserve that!

I hope so too but I'm not holding my breath. Here and there it will seem like it but then he goes back to the way he was. I don't know. Maybe if I have something else in my life I can focus on, something that will help the feelings of loneliness I have on a daily basis, that may help with the issues I have with the marriage. But it's really hard to live with someone who doesn't want to spend a lot of time with you alone. We don't communicate either or talk about plans we have for the future. Sometimes, it's like living with a stranger which is the absolute last thing I thought a marriage would be.

[ulawolf]

My dh and i have four kids and one on the way and we have a date night once a week standing. This is extremely important to our marriage and our family. We take our youngest to.grandmas and the older ones fend.fir themselves. I think all married couples need a few hours a week to just themselves to keep that one/one relationship going.

Go for it!