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Old 04-15-2012, 02:35 PM   #31
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Re: Anyone else have a SO who could care less?

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Originally Posted by ~happy2Bamommy~ View Post
Seriously or is that how the pregnant you feels he views you?
That's his current view according to facebook posts and conversations with his friends. The tub comes from our conversation about how the tub is getting a ring around it, and I asked if he could clean it his response was "I don't know how, it will have to wait till your willing to do something"

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Old 04-15-2012, 08:29 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by Catbutt Diapers

That's his current view according to facebook posts and conversations with his friends. The tub comes from our conversation about how the tub is getting a ring around it, and I asked if he could clean it his response was "I don't know how, it will have to wait till your willing to do something"
I would do something.... Hire someone to come clean it.
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Old 04-16-2012, 09:55 AM   #33
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Re: Anyone else have a SO who could care less?

Yes, that is how my husband is. This is our second, we tried for 3 months and discussed it for many months before so it's not a shock to him. He just does not feel they are real until birth. We've known for a month we are having a girl and just yesterday for the first time he announced it to his friends and has started discussing names. With the first pregnancy I flat out told him at 30 weeks when we were going to a wedding he needed to announce it pronto because it was unfair to the bridal couple for us to show up very pregnant and have us be the center of attention. Otherwise I doubt he would have told anyone until birth. He also does not go to appts. He went to the big ultrasound with DD and 1 other appt because he had the day off, with this one, no appts so far and I doubt he will. He attended birth classes for the first, and we don't need them this time. I doubt he will go to any ultrasounds either. His mom went to all my ultrasounds last time, but she's a little busy and more over it this time.
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Old 04-16-2012, 06:58 PM   #34
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Re: Anyone else have a SO who could care less?

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Originally Posted by raisingcropsandbabies View Post

I was hurt during my 1st pregnancy, but realized it's so normal. My old midwife said a woman becomes a mom the instant she gets pregnant and a man becomes a father when he holds the baby in his arms. SO TRUE! My husband is an amazinggggg dad.

Try not to be too hard on him. I think men feel a lot more than they let on while their wives are pregnant (worry about wives' health, baby's health, finances with an extra one, the unknown). I think it's kind of a vulnerable feeling and they don't like that.
Definitely this! DH just can't get himself excited when I'm pregnant, but he is an amazing dad from birth on up. He's admitted to me many times that he hates pregnancy, because he hates seeing me in pain, and sick, and he's always scared for me during birth. Also the financial burden-- I have more of a "it will all work out" mentality, but he wants to know exactly HOW it will work. It really hurt my feelings with the first baby too, that DH never asked to go to appts, or feel the baby move, or pick out names... he would DO all of those things, but only after I suggested them.
Now it's our (surprise, and last) 4th, and I've really made peace with it. He's a really wonderful father to our three, as I know he will be to this one, he just can't quite feel a connection until after birth. I'd honestly rather he DIDN'T fake it-- he can't force emotions that aren't there yet just as much as I can't help dreaming about names, tiny baby diapers and that sweet face I can't wait to see. In 22 more weeks we'll both adore this little one equally.
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Old 04-17-2012, 02:26 PM   #35
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Re: Anyone else have a SO who could care less?

My DH is not involved AT ALL in this pregnancy... but that's because the baby isn't his (or mine, for that matter). He's supportive of the surrogacy, and loves the parents of the baby, but won't be going to any of the appointment. He will be at the birth, though.
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Old 04-21-2012, 07:41 PM   #36
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Re: Anyone else have a SO who could care less?

Quote:
Originally Posted by raisingcropsandbabies View Post

I was hurt during my 1st pregnancy, but realized it's so normal. My old midwife said a woman becomes a mom the instant she gets pregnant and a man becomes a father when he holds the baby in his arms. SO TRUE! My husband is an amazinggggg dad.

Try not to be too hard on him. I think men feel a lot more than they let on while their wives are pregnant (worry about wives' health, baby's health, finances with an extra one, the unknown). I think it's kind of a vulnerable feeling and they don't like that.
My DH could care less about the appointments, but he HAS to go to the gender appt. lol He is super supportive during delivery though and when that baby is born, he is the best dad in the world.
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