Diaper Swappers

MyKzooFamily · 04-17-2012, 06:37 PM

I had an AWFUL daycare experience with DS. I went back to work when he was 4 weeks old. He was a fussy baby, and the SAHM also had another baby the same age she was watching. To make a long story short, she never held him, propped him with bottles and didn't burp him (huge no-no for colicy babies) and let him cry in his swing all day.

I quit when we found out what was going on, when he was 6 months old.

Now he is 3.5 and very ready to play with other kids. DD is 5 weeks old, and I had a job interview today. I got offered the job on the spot, but I'm nervous. Will DD get to be held? She usually cries when not held, but she's getting better at it. Will they make sure to feed her every couple hours? Burp her well? Make sure she doesn't get too hot (DR. said she overheats easy and her temp rises). Will they take really good care of her? It scares me to death.

I know lots of babies go into daycare as infants, and they survive it. Will she be as attached to me as she would have if I was home?

So much to think about. With 2 in daycare, I won't be 'banking' a ton after daycare is paid. It will be just less than $800/mo. after gas and daycare (no other expenses included). I have contemplated doing child care in my home. I could easily watch 2 full time kids for $800/mo. and be able to stay home.

It's a huge decision. Finding full time kids takes time, and it's not a guaranteed income as they could leave at any time. The job seems pretty awesome, just nervous about DD in daycare.

agzip03 · 04-17-2012, 06:45 PM

I'd like to reassure you, but I'm just not sure how. Nothing is ever going to be the same as staying with mommy. I have the same issue. I have two kiddos at a sitter and it kills me. Thankfully girls are well taken care of although it is not the way I would take care of them. It did take me a few tries to get comfortable though. We have probably interviewed close to 75 people and centers over the last two years. DD1 was with two different sitters last year and I wasn't satisfied with either. I am a lot more comfortable with this one, but still not 100 percent happy about having to let my kids go. Just find someone you like and agree with. Make sure you can stop in whenever you want and treat the sitter right and she'll treat the kids right hopefully.

MyKzooFamily · 04-18-2012, 06:03 AM

bump

Nerissa · 04-18-2012, 07:09 AM

((HUGS)) It is hard. Both my boys have been in daycare since they were 7 weeks old.

Like PP said, nothing will be as good as staying home with you. Find someone you like.

With the boys were babies we had small in home care. DS1 was the only child she watched plus her 3 year old son.

DS2 there was just him as an infant and then DS1 and one other little boy.

With this bean our current daycare has more kids. She may not do everything like I would but she takes great care of the kids and I trust her. The boys have been there for over a year. I am comfortable with taking the new baby.

doodah · 04-20-2012, 01:51 PM

I thought you decided to do daycare?

Well I can tell you that there are plenty of providers that will take care of a baby well....that includes feeding properly and holding! The other provider was extremely lazy and in my opinion, heartless to leave a baby alone like that. I'm sorry you had that experience. I would go with someone that has a small ratio, lots of infant experience and kids that have been with her from infant on (meaning parents stuck around for a long time!).

You know my story. I'd rather do the extra work of having daycare kids here. You really aren't going to even be making $600 a month are you? if you factor in gas costs, clothing, lunches and other work outside of the home expenses. I would just stay home at least for the first few months and then revisit. Just because you do daycare now does not mean that you have to do it forever, you know?

lilac0226 · 04-21-2012, 08:09 PM

Personally especially for full-time work $800 would not be worth it to me. I cleared close to $2k after daycare cost and gas and it didn't really feel worth it to me. When you add in the extra spending on conveniences (for me I spend more on food eating out or take-out for dinner, clothes for working, and toys/things I do with kids out of guilt) that it easily adds another $200 or so in expenses for working. That was when I had 1 in day care, when I had twins I cut my hours to part-time. Unfortunately I was in a position where they could force me to work full-time so I did do that and pay $800-$1000k in day care. When I was part-time I just worked around hubbies schedule so we rarely had day care cost, which was perfect. Now hubby is going to school and my stepson is old enough to babysit so for the most part I can work 24 hours/week without having day care.

If you are in a position where you don't have an option it is possible to find a good daycare provider. I highly recommend finding someone that seems to like babies and seems comfortable with them. I had one friend who watched my oldest for a while who was the baby whisperer, she'd make me feel bad because my son was calmer for her than me, however, I knew he was well cared for. She also did not mind carrying him all the time. So I would also find someone that doesn't have a lot of other kids, and is willing to sling the baby. I know they have other things to do, to me if they will baby wear than I feel it is less likely my child will sit screaming.

If you decide to do daycare, definitely do the USDA food program in addition. I had come close to quitting to do daycare when my work was forcing me to work full-time and if you are low enough income they will also give you the food stipend amount for your own children. With my kids (3) and if I had 2 daycare kids the food stipend would have been a little over $20/day. They do have strict guidelines but it would make money stretch further, plus I budgeted I could probably meet the requirements spending about $10/day, so I'd end up ahead.

Palooka · 04-21-2012, 08:22 PM

You can do it mama! Going to work isn't just about money, it's about having a career, meeting people, accomplishing things in the grown-up-world... there is a lot to like about working. When I was pregnant I truly thought I would want to be a stay-at-home-mom, but after 8 weeks I realized I need my job and that that is okay!

Do your best to vet the daycare. Talk to other parents, drop in unannounced, google the name, and so on. I'm so sorry you had a bad experience before, that is really upsetting and like you I would have a hard time trusting someone else. Listen to your gut and be upfront with the daycare about your concerns and your child's needs.

Of course nothing is the same as staying home with mom all day, but just because it's different doesn't make it bad. Your son could make great friends at daycare he wouldn't have met if you stayed home. Your baby might learn to love her new caregiver. Your children will be just as attached and happy with you as they always have been. Just like moms, kids have lots of love to give, and the more people they have to give it to the happier they are.

nursenmom · 04-21-2012, 08:33 PM

I was lucky enough to not have to go to work until my lo was 12 weeks which made things a lot easier and I only had to go part time. I was very happy with my provider but I made sure to find someone who would let my dd be the baby because that is what she was. So for me my top priority would be finding somewhere, especially for the baby, that you know he is going to be getting plenty of attention. And, if you are working primarily for the money possibly thinking what your other options are. $800 before you figure in food, clothes, possibly being in a higher tax bracket, etc. I couldn't make it work once I had 2.

mibarra · 04-21-2012, 09:17 PM

A good daycare will do all those things. Ask around from other moms with similar parenting styles, ease into slowly, stop by at different times to see how things are.

escapethevillage · 04-21-2012, 10:15 PM

Ah... most good providers would LOVE to get their hands on a newborn! We LOVE tiny babies.

We get attached. We carry them in slings all day long. We buy them things. We take pictures and videos of them. We would not ever let them cry unless there was something else very important going on. Stuff does happen. All day long... someone pees on the floor, so the baby has to sit in a seat, or on the floor. Or we have to help someone else...there are always going to be times during the day that the baby can't be held or fed right then. (i'd even prop a bottle if I had to)

But, we never, ever leave a baby to cry alone in a crib or a swing... no matter how high maintenance they are.

04-17-2012, 06:37 PM	#1
MyKzooFamily Registered Users Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 3,837 Ratings: 180 Feedback: 99% My Mood:	Need Reassurance about NB in Daycare... I had an AWFUL daycare experience with DS. I went back to work when he was 4 weeks old. He was a fussy baby, and the SAHM also had another baby the same age she was watching. To make a long story short, she never held him, propped him with bottles and didn't burp him (huge no-no for colicy babies) and let him cry in his swing all day. I quit when we found out what was going on, when he was 6 months old. Now he is 3.5 and very ready to play with other kids. DD is 5 weeks old, and I had a job interview today. I got offered the job on the spot, but I'm nervous. Will DD get to be held? She usually cries when not held, but she's getting better at it. Will they make sure to feed her every couple hours? Burp her well? Make sure she doesn't get too hot (DR. said she overheats easy and her temp rises). Will they take really good care of her? It scares me to death. I know lots of babies go into daycare as infants, and they survive it. Will she be as attached to me as she would have if I was home? So much to think about. With 2 in daycare, I won't be 'banking' a ton after daycare is paid. It will be just less than $800/mo. after gas and daycare (no other expenses included). I have contemplated doing child care in my home. I could easily watch 2 full time kids for $800/mo. and be able to stay home. It's a huge decision. Finding full time kids takes time, and it's not a guaranteed income as they could leave at any time. The job seems pretty awesome, just nervous about DD in daycare. __________________ Happy Mommy to DS (4), DD (1) and Twin Boys! (due Sept/Oct). I am frugal, minimal, thrifty. Broke, and living on love. ISO Formula Checks Any kind, Please!

04-18-2012, 06:03 AM	#3
MyKzooFamily Registered Users Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 3,837 Ratings: 180 Feedback: 99% My Mood:	Re: Need Reassurance about NB in Daycare... bump __________________ Happy Mommy to DS (4), DD (1) and Twin Boys! (due Sept/Oct). I am frugal, minimal, thrifty. Broke, and living on love. ISO Formula Checks Any kind, Please!

04-18-2012, 07:09 AM	#4
Nerissa Registered Users Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: small town USA Posts: 3,434 Ratings: 60 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Need Reassurance about NB in Daycare... ((HUGS)) It is hard. Both my boys have been in daycare since they were 7 weeks old. Like PP said, nothing will be as good as staying home with you. Find someone you like. With the boys were babies we had small in home care. DS1 was the only child she watched plus her 3 year old son. DS2 there was just him as an infant and then DS1 and one other little boy. With this bean our current daycare has more kids. She may not do everything like I would but she takes great care of the kids and I trust her. The boys have been there for over a year. I am comfortable with taking the new baby. __________________ wife and mom ~If you see a bunch of types I am probably NAK on my tablet in the middle of the night. Please excuse them.

04-20-2012, 01:51 PM	#5
doodah Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Posts: 9,542 Ratings: 346 Feedback: 100%	Re: Need Reassurance about NB in Daycare... I thought you decided to do daycare? Well I can tell you that there are plenty of providers that will take care of a baby well....that includes feeding properly and holding! The other provider was extremely lazy and in my opinion, heartless to leave a baby alone like that. I'm sorry you had that experience. I would go with someone that has a small ratio, lots of infant experience and kids that have been with her from infant on (meaning parents stuck around for a long time!). You know my story. I'd rather do the extra work of having daycare kids here. You really aren't going to even be making $600 a month are you? if you factor in gas costs, clothing, lunches and other work outside of the home expenses. I would just stay home at least for the first few months and then revisit. Just because you do daycare now does not mean that you have to do it forever, you know?

04-21-2012, 08:09 PM	#6
lilac0226 Registered Users Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 633 Ratings: 6 Feedback: 100%	Re: Need Reassurance about NB in Daycare... Personally especially for full-time work $800 would not be worth it to me. I cleared close to $2k after daycare cost and gas and it didn't really feel worth it to me. When you add in the extra spending on conveniences (for me I spend more on food eating out or take-out for dinner, clothes for working, and toys/things I do with kids out of guilt) that it easily adds another $200 or so in expenses for working. That was when I had 1 in day care, when I had twins I cut my hours to part-time. Unfortunately I was in a position where they could force me to work full-time so I did do that and pay $800-$1000k in day care. When I was part-time I just worked around hubbies schedule so we rarely had day care cost, which was perfect. Now hubby is going to school and my stepson is old enough to babysit so for the most part I can work 24 hours/week without having day care. If you are in a position where you don't have an option it is possible to find a good daycare provider. I highly recommend finding someone that seems to like babies and seems comfortable with them. I had one friend who watched my oldest for a while who was the baby whisperer, she'd make me feel bad because my son was calmer for her than me, however, I knew he was well cared for. She also did not mind carrying him all the time. So I would also find someone that doesn't have a lot of other kids, and is willing to sling the baby. I know they have other things to do, to me if they will baby wear than I feel it is less likely my child will sit screaming. If you decide to do daycare, definitely do the USDA food program in addition. I had come close to quitting to do daycare when my work was forcing me to work full-time and if you are low enough income they will also give you the food stipend amount for your own children. With my kids (3) and if I had 2 daycare kids the food stipend would have been a little over $20/day. They do have strict guidelines but it would make money stretch further, plus I budgeted I could probably meet the requirements spending about $10/day, so I'd end up ahead. __________________ http://www.groupon.com/r/uu16101319