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Old 04-18-2012, 06:22 AM   #11
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Re: I know its selfish, but have you ever asked for a baby shower?

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Yes, it is tacky to ask for someone to throw a shower. And definitely tacky for a mom or MIL to be the host (It's like, "Hey, give my kid some gifts!"). Perhaps one of your good friends already has something in mind for later in the summer?
Interesting to read the responses to this. Around here, the wedding and baby showers are almost always thrown by the mom and/or mil. My best friend started planning both my wedding and baby shower and both moms stepped in and sort of took over, lol.

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Old 04-18-2012, 07:00 AM   #12
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Re: I know its selfish, but have you ever asked for a baby shower?

I am having a boy after three girls, but I know that no one is going to throw the baby a shower. It seems like everytime I try to set money aside to buy things something comes up. A big car repair bill was our biggest set back. Oh well, I will figure something out. Good luck OP, hopefully someone will surprise you with a shower.
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Old 04-18-2012, 07:27 AM   #13
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Re: I know its selfish, but have you ever asked for a baby shower?

I think if I couldn't sneakily find out if someone was going to throw one for me I would start planning to throw a meet the baby type of thing. Or heck, throw a gender reveal party yourself! that would be fun!
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Old 04-18-2012, 07:42 AM   #14
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Re: I know its selfish, but have you ever asked for a baby shower?

I live in the southeast, born and raised, and with the exception of military moves, I have always lived in the south. It is very common for the mom, MIL, sister, etc to throw the baby shower. I had never heard of it being *bad etiquette* until I joined this forum.

OP - if it were me, I would have my husband ask his mom.
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Old 04-18-2012, 08:21 AM   #15
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Re: I know its selfish, but have you ever asked for a baby shower?

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I live in the southeast, born and raised, and with the exception of military moves, I have always lived in the south. It is very common for the mom, MIL, sister, etc to throw the baby shower. I had never heard of it being *bad etiquette* until I joined this forum.

OP - if it were me, I would have my husband ask his mom.
Same here. I'm a total Southern girl, and I know my etiquette... but in my area, showers are almost always thrown by family (sister, mom, MIL, SIL, etc). I don't see why people care who throws the shower?

OP - I wouldn't ask your MIL for a shower. Like someone else said, it's a little early for that... my shower with DS1 was about 6 weeks before my due date, and I think that's the norm. If you're worried about it, though, I would have your DH casually mention a shower to your MIL, instead of you straight up asking.
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Old 04-18-2012, 08:35 AM   #16
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I'm from no where near the south, Alaska, so maybe it's different in our neighborhood but usually a best friend or SIL/MIL almost always throw it. I moved here to SoCal for my hubby and so I didn't know anyone really. I cried when I didn't get a bachelorette party but he had one so when the baby shower came along a few years later and I still didn't have many friends I of course started crying again. Dh mentioned to his mom that I wasn't having a baby shower because there wasn't anyone to throw one, she threw me such an amazing shower!
Now in my neck of the woods it is considered rude and tacky to throw another baby shower for baby 2 or anything after. We do a baby sprinkle and do not register for any gifts or we do a meet the baby party at about 3-4weeks old and don't register. I just see it as you already had a baby so you probably have the larger items and such but also it's kinda like throwing a party with your hand out.
I personally didn't register for my baby shower besides cloth diapers. Other than that I put a nice note saying that I know times are tough and the economy is bad and we didn't want any gifts but would love and appreciate any hand-me-downs. We ended up getting gifts but also tons of hand-me-downs! My daughter is 14m and has enough books and toys until she's 10. We also got a ton of great clothes that are still in awesome condition, a lot are Janie & Jack and Gymboree even.
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Old 04-18-2012, 12:23 PM   #17
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Re: I know its selfish, but have you ever asked for a baby shower?

I'm sorry but I do think it's tacky to ask. I did like the suggestion of maybe having your husband ask though. Plus, you never know, maybe someone is planning a shower for you
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Old 04-18-2012, 01:36 PM   #18
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Re: I know its selfish, but have you ever asked for a baby shower?

It's funny seeing what people think is bad etiquette and what's not! My mom is in charge of the shower (she offered) and she threw me my shower with my first too. My friends mothers threw theirs, too. I definitely think it's more common here to have your mom throw you a shower, rather than friends.
If you don't get a shower, I think the "meet the baby" party is a great idea. Not tacky at all, IMO. I have known lots of people that have done it.
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Old 04-18-2012, 03:39 PM   #19
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Re: I know its selfish, but have you ever asked for a baby shower?

As I've never had a shower and really don't attend (been to 3, of my only female friends) but why is it tacky for a mil to throw it? I'm thinking the 2 of the three I've been too were hosted by the mil.
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Old 04-18-2012, 03:49 PM   #20
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I think it is tacky to ask yourself but it would maybe be less so if DH said something to MIL. I have definitely heard it is tacky to have family throw the shower because it makes it seem like the family s asking for handouts. I'm pretty sure I have seen it done a lot though. You have to do what you feel comfortable with in the end.
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