Would you relocate for your spouse?

[MotherMoonPads]

Originally Posted by newbiemama Two scenarios: Scenario A) You have a good job that you love. Your spouse has been going back to school PT for years and has been working part-time jobs. Finally, after graduating, your spouse gets their DREAM JOB. Quite literally, their dream job. However, this job is located 3-5 hours away from your home. You also have young children, elementary aged and down. Scenario B) Your spouse is the primary worker, you stay at home. Unexpectedly, your spouse loses their job. After months of unemployment, your spouse gets a job offer across the country. Your kids are older, high-school and middle-school aged, so they have their own lives, friends, and are involved in sports and activities. What you would do? Relocate? What would be some determining factors in each scenario?

In both cases, we would relocate. We are actually in the process of moving 2200 miles so my husband can have the OPPORTUNITY of getting his dream job. We have a teenager and two younger ones, and we are all fully supportive of DH.

[MyLovely]

Probably relocate, but there aren't enough details Is my DP's dream job a job he cannot get anywhere else? If so, and my job were one that made it easy to relocate (most likely, as I'll be either a counselor or librarian), I'd do it with no hesitation. However, if his dream job were something relatively generic that he could get elsewhere, and my job was so specific that I couldn't easily relocate (say, a professor or something similar) I'd probably convince him to turn the job down and seek one closer to home.

Second scenario doesn't really apply to my life...unless something were to go wrong, I'd be working and making enough money to support us while DP searched for something at home or went back to school. Hypothetically though, as the question was more about the welfare of the kids, yes, I'd move. Kids are highly adaptable.

[mabelinoad]

Relocate for both.


In fact, there are currently movers in my house right now and we are moving away from all my family in CA and going to VA for dh to have a better job life.

[ulawolf]

We are in a unique situation here. I have three teens with my xh so relocating would be extremely difficult due to custody. Now my two older dds have lived with me full time since January (long story) so we could probably move them with little issue however my ds goes back and forth every other week and us changing that would really cause him great e optional distress with his issues. Right now my dh works out of Atlanta Georgia but from Michigan. He travels back and forth when needed. We are hoping to relocate in 5 years when ds graduates. If my dh Had to relocate before then we would make decisions on how the best way to handle it.

[Husky359]

Relocate.

[AcrossTheUniverse]

ulawolf- Custody issues are what prevented us from moving with DH 9 months ago. My older 3 kiddos see their dad (ex-h) every weekend and he wasn't okay with us moving them out of state. He has come around now so we can move but I have to bring them back every other weekend, so imagine moving much farther than where we are about to go would be close to impossible. But if it was our only option (as in, DH and I both could not find work anywhere else), I'm sure we'd find a way to work it out.

[escapethevillage]

IF my husband was very responsible, and had a secure job offer, I'd move almost anywhere with him. Some places I've lived and have no desire to ever live there again....so, in my perfect world, he'd never say "Hey...howbout we move to Saint Louis?"

ETA, My husband is much more mature and responsible than I am, so I wouldn't question it from him.... my ex..notsomuch.

[chapmanrl6]

In either case, if the job was going to benefit the whole family, then I would opt to relocate.

[amb2j]

Id relocate in each scenario
1) Because its his DREAM job and I couldnt keep that from someone especially not DH.
2) B/c the $ would be necessary to support the family. We would work through the emotional stuff related to relocation as a family.

[doodah]

Originally Posted by newbiemama Interesting answers. One scenario I saw on a TV show and the family ended up divorcing. The other scenario I heard from a couple at church and they didn't relocate, so the dad was in California by himself and the kids and mom stayed in Minnesota. If it was my family, there's no way I wouldn't relocate. I can't imagine living separately from my husband, not just because of the kids, but because of us. I cannot think of a scenario where I wouldn't move so that we'd all be together.

The only couple I know who tried this sort of thing got divorced within 18 months. And this was a GREAT couple who had stuck together thru infertility treatments and other struggles.