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Old 04-25-2012, 08:26 PM   #1
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Sex after miscarriage.

Got a few questions.

My bleeding has been gone for 24+ hours now... is it safe to have sex? Cramps have been gone for 3-4 days.

Doctor said wait three weeks. Ugh. That was the day I started miscarrying - a week ago exactly.

I was supposed to go to the doctor today... decided against it. Not sure if she would have checked my cervix anyway, but either way... I ended up not going.

So my question is, is it safe for me and DH to DTD tonight? If my cervix is still open, will it be painful? I feel like such a newbie to all of this (well, I am to the miscarriage stuff), but I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my health.

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Old 04-25-2012, 08:40 PM   #2
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Re: Sex after miscarriage.

Dh and I DTD when I was ready and had stopped bleeding after M/C.
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Old 04-25-2012, 08:46 PM   #3
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Re: Sex after miscarriage.

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Dh and I DTD when I was ready and had stopped bleeding after M/C.
I guess I am just nervous. I have a million things running through my head... what do I do if I start bleeding again afterward? What is the liklihood that it will happen? Ergh. It's been three weeks since we've done it, and I feel AWFUL for him... and I want it really badly... just afraid it's going to hurt, or that I am going to hurt myself. :/
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Old 04-25-2012, 08:54 PM   #4
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Re: Sex after miscarriage.

If it hurts, stop. I dont remember how long i waited, but any time theres ever been pain, we just stop.
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Old 04-25-2012, 09:04 PM   #5
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Re: Sex after miscarriage.

I was never told to not DTD for any period. I was just told to wait a month for TTC though that was only with a few of the losses. The later ones like 06 I was told I can TTC right away.
The follow up visit was likely another blood draw to check your HCG level. I haven't had it done in most of my losses. I just tested it out at home.

I am so very sorry about your loss!
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Old 04-25-2012, 09:08 PM   #6
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Re: Sex after miscarriage.

If it makes you feel any better, we just went through the same thing and I had the same questions and feelings. I asked the nurse at my OB and she said it was fine whenever I felt up to it. It didn't hurt to me at all, just a little hard (strangely) emotionally. I was about 10 weeks when I miscarried if that gives you any reference on the pain during intercourse question.
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Old 04-25-2012, 09:24 PM   #7
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I was told to wait two weeks after the bleeding has stopped (due to risk of infection). My midwife (second opinion) told me to wait until I was ready. I ended up only making it a little after the 24hr mark. However, I bled for a long time and had my cervix checked by my midwife.

Also, mama, I just went through my first miscarriage this past month.

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Old 04-25-2012, 09:28 PM   #8
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Re: Sex after miscarriage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by leyash View Post
I guess I am just nervous. I have a million things running through my head... what do I do if I start bleeding again afterward? What is the liklihood that it will happen? Ergh. It's been three weeks since we've done it, and I feel AWFUL for him... and I want it really badly... just afraid it's going to hurt, or that I am going to hurt myself. :/
If it hurts, stop. Simple as that. If you are ready emotionally, go for it. I spotted here and there the first time we DTD after M/C. I don't *think* you can hurt yourself but if you are worried about infection then make sure to use the restroom after you are finished. I always do because I get UTIs easily.

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Old 04-25-2012, 11:07 PM   #9
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Re: Sex after miscarriage.

I think we had sex about 6 days after the loss. I had barely stopped bleeding. It didn't hurt, but like some above I felt a little weird about it emotionally. Anyways, it'll happen when you're ready.
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Old 04-26-2012, 06:20 AM   #10
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Re: Sex after miscarriage.

I can't remember exactly when we DTD but it was within a couple days of the bleeding stopping. I do know that I had thought it stopped but then started again, and that was with a 4-5 week loss.

I've only ever heard towait 24 hours after the last sign of blood. I've heard of being told to wait to TTC but never to wait for sex, unless there are other issues pressure like an open cervix, heavy cramping/sharp pains etc.

If you're worried about your cervix being open you can always check yourself if you're comfortable. Otherwise just do what you feel ready to do and stop it if doesn't feel right. I'm sorry you have to go through this- its not a funclub and none of us should be here
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