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Old 04-26-2012, 11:23 AM   #1
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UPDATED in 1st post: Doctor Ruined Surprise - WWYD?


Baby Girl, Victoria Reese, was born October 3rd at 9:45am, weighing 9lbs. 1oz., 20.5 in long.
I got my "surprise" baby Although her gender didn't seem quite as surprising as the fact that she was born with a head full of dark hair, dark eyes and a matching dark complexion (both of my older babies were blonde, blue and fair).

I had a growth scan yesterday. I made it clear to the nurse/assistant that I did not want to know the baby's gender. She told the doctor and put a sign on the door. The doctor came in, confirmed, "you do not want to know the sex of the baby, correct?" I said, "that's right, we don't. We'd like a surprise."

He went on to take all of the measurements, talking aloud as he did..."the leg...back of the neck looks great...oh, hands tucked behind the head--relaxing..." He then says, "right 'sex organ'...left 'sex organ'..." At the end of the scan, he printed pictures, saying, "don't worry, there is nothing gender won't be able to guess."

I didn't say anything. It's not like I could un-hear or he could take it back. And I didn't want my 3-year-old to repeat that there was no longer a surprise.

I know I should be happy I have a healthy baby--and I am. I wouldn't have cared either way, but I wanted to experience one of life's only true surprises. This is our last baby. I'm upset and really, I am angry that I won't get a surprise.

My husband wasn't at the appointment and I haven't told him what happened. I don't know if I should. I don't want to ruin the surprise for him, but I don't want to spend the rest of this pregnancy lying.

ETA: he did state the actual name of the sex organs. I am trying to be candid just in case I decide not to give it away to my husband


Kristin: Mommy to Liam (8/2008), Megan (12/2010), Baby #3 (due 10/2012)
Wife to Chris (USAF stationed in Hawaii)

Last edited by kp1721; 10-12-2012 at 01:56 PM. Reason: Updated
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Old 04-26-2012, 11:26 AM   #2
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Re: Doctor Ruined Surprise - WWYD?

Wow that sucks! People can be SO dense sometimes!!!! "You won't be able to guess" already told me!!! I am so mad for you Mama...if DH was really into being surprised, I guess just try to hold it in. to you!
Krista wife to James (Nov 2004) SAHM to Alison (Dec 08) and baby K (Aug 2010) and dedicated to losing weight, eating great, and saving money
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Old 04-26-2012, 11:26 AM   #3
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Re: Doctor Ruined Surprise - WWYD?

It could have been the ovaries they were talking about: I'd tell myself that.

We had the same thing happen with this one (except a smidgeon different). She gave us a picture of his leg with the testicle in clear view.....

eta-unless you just changed the wording to be more family friendly. If he used the term, I'd have to tell my dh that I knew and ask him if he wanted me to keep it a secret or not. HUGS.

Last edited by wlillie; 04-26-2012 at 11:27 AM.
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Old 04-26-2012, 11:29 AM   #4
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Re: Doctor Ruined Surprise - WWYD?

Hugs mama! Honestly, I don't think that gives anything away. He could have just as easily meant left side of or right side of, right?

Congratulations on the baby!
Kim, a doing what works for us mama to S (06/01), J (03/03), M (12/07) and S (01/11)

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Old 04-26-2012, 11:29 AM   #5
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Re: Doctor Ruined Surprise - WWYD?

How is the surprise ruined? Both boys and girls have left and right sex organs, I thought...
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Old 04-26-2012, 11:30 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by sojomisa
Hugs mama! Honestly, I don't think that gives anything away. He could have just as easily meant left side of or right side of, right?

Congratulations on the baby!
I don't think anything was slipped. It could have easily been testicles or ovaries?

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Old 04-26-2012, 11:33 AM   #7
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Re: Doctor Ruined Surprise - WWYD?

I don't know what gender you are having from that LOL That could be ovaries or testicles. Which do you think it is?
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Old 04-26-2012, 11:34 AM   #8
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Both boys and girls have right and left sex organs. I wouldn't read one way or the other into that statement. And likely the doctor made that statement with the knowledge that right and left sex organs does not indicate gender one way or the other.
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Old 04-26-2012, 11:35 AM   #9
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Re: Doctor Ruined Surprise - WWYD?

I had something similar happen to me with DD2. I had to get a repeat scan because the baby was not in a position to get a good view of the heart and part of the spine. So I went by myself...on Christmas Eve. We wanted the sex to be a surprise, and I said that to the ultrasound tech a few times. She even commented that she thinks it's neat when moms don't want to find out, way to go! So before she even puts the gel on my belly, she is looking over the last set of pictures and says "So you're having a girl, right?" I was flabbergasted! I said "I don't know what we are having because we didn't want to know, just like I just told you." She could tell I was upset so then she started back tracking and saying "well, there isn't anything written on here about the sex, I really don't know what it is..." Yeah, right. You do this 5 days a week and have been doing this for 15 years, and you don't know what you are looking at? Ugh! I'm still mad about that!

Anyway, after thinking about it, I told DH that the tech slipped up and I told him everything she said except the word "girl." I said that I was disappointed that I knew and I didn't want to do that to him and left it up to him. He waited until she was born to find out that we had a daughter. He did ask me a couple of times and when I said "Are you sure you want to know?" he didn't, so I never told him. At times it was hard to not use the feminine pronouns and such, but I switched back and forth with DD1 and with DD2 before this so I continued. I actually had DH convinced that we were having a boy. It's hard, but it is possible.
Kathy (38) Mommy to Erin (8/05) and Annika (4/08)

Last edited by Kathy_D; 04-26-2012 at 11:37 AM.
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Old 04-26-2012, 11:35 AM   #10
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Re: Doctor Ruined Surprise - WWYD?

I don't think he gave it away- it could be anything.

We had a tech who went out of her way to make it obvious what the gender was without actually saying it. Really made me mad. I did tell dh but we both pretended to not know. Even after I told the tech she could tell my MIL the gender, but not tell us she still went out of her way. She got ds spread eagle with the screen facing me, looked at me to see if I was looking and when she saw me looking she then moved the wand. She went over his junk 3 times in the scan- there was absolutey no question left. She had asked me my name choices before that part of the scan then after she said what were your names again? I said Isaak and... she interrupted me before I could say the girl's name again. I mean really, I was so mad when I left. A big disappointment from my first. the tech for my first baby didn't even put it in the chart. She turned the screen away from me while she did that portion of the scan and didn't say a word. She said its her practice not to put it in the chart so that there is no slip ups from the docs or nurses. Only our tech would now the gender. It made the doc mad- she even said she would be calling the tech to find out because it needed to be in the chart. The tech never gave it to her.
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