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Old 04-29-2012, 09:29 PM   #1
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Am I overreacting?

DS (9 months) spent the night at my in-laws house last night (he's spent the night there before). DH and I went over to pick him up today. He woke up from a nap about 5 minutes after we got there. DH went and picked him up from the pack n play and brought him into the kitchen, where I was. His whole face and part of his neck was bright red and covered in hives! I pointed it out to DH and MIL. MIL tells me that he had them since earlier and she thinks he's allergic to either the area rug (he was rolling and crawling on it, maybe she used something to clean it?) or maybe the sheet on the pack n play (no clue what laundry detergent she used on it). So from what I understand, he had hives for at least several hours and she didn't bother to call and tell me or DH

After about a half hour, all but 3 of the hives went away (he still had 1 on his face, 1 on his butt and 1 on his thigh) so I called the pediatrician that was on call and he told me to give him Benedryl and call the office tomorrow (it wasn't his usual pedi that I talked to). We also gave him a bath, to wash off whatever he was allergic to.

I'm fuming mad. I told DH that I don't want them to babysit anymore. I don't trust them now. DS had an allergic reaction and they didn't call us What if it had gotten worse and he had trouble breathing? I'm not overreacting, right? If they don't babysit, there will be no more date nights but I would rather not worry about DS than have a date.

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Old 04-29-2012, 09:34 PM   #2
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Can't you just tell them 'next time can you call us?' Seems like an easier solution. It's unlikely that he won't be staying with his grandparents at some point; it'd be better to set 'ground rules' than just take him away.

Hard to say because if my daughter was having an allergic reaction, I might just watch her for a few hours and try to pinpoint the issue. But maybe I would react stronger - guess it depends on how bad it looked.
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Old 04-29-2012, 09:39 PM   #3
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Re: Am I overreacting?

I think you're not overreacting but I would have a conversation about it first and then see what happens.

My example is that I strongly believe that who is caring for DS must no drink (including DH and myself) - my IL's are very liberal with their wine LOL. I found out that they were drinking wine at dinner while having my son after DH heavily hinted but did not actually tell them no drinking - I was pissed but decided that i would just meantion it to them and so far no drinking has taken place.

I would weigh how much you need the babysitting vs how well they care for him otherwise and how the conversation goes talking to them - if the minimize and deny thew fact they should have called you I would agree - no more but if they realize that they made a mistake and should have got in touch then I would give them another chance.

Good luck!!
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Old 04-29-2012, 09:41 PM   #4
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Personally, I do not think you are over reacting. If he was allergic to something and had a plain rash - fine, okay BUT HIVES?!! Hives are different then a rash and can EASILY lead to air way restrictions. I think any parent who does not take hives seriously is... Well, to each their own My dd is a year and has never, and will never, spend the night at anyone's house until she is over 6 years of age (well, unless both DH and I are debilitated!) so if you do not have to leave your son over night there then I wouldn't...

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Old 04-29-2012, 09:47 PM   #5
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Re: Am I overreacting?

I'd be upset for a few reasons. He had hives they didn't tell you. Then, they laid him down for a nap on a sheet in which they think may have caused the hives?? Does that make any sense. (because obviously he had the hives before nap time) That whole situation could have ended horribly if the sheet was the culprit and his airways reacted to it.
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Old 04-29-2012, 10:22 PM   #6
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Re: Am I overreacting?

I don't think you're wrong to be upset, but if he is otherwise well cared for, I'd talk to them about it before I completly ended the babysitting. It does seem odd that they would have put him down for a nap on a sheet that they thought could have been the problem. Talk to them about it, make sure that they know you'd want to be called if he has another reaction. If they brush it all off like it's no big deal, then yeah, it might be time to reconsider letting them babysit. But if they seem apologetic and receptive, then I'd give them another chance. I'd also make sure they have benadryl on hand. My son has gotten hives a few times. We have no idea what causes them, but a dose of benadryl always gets rid of them.
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Old 04-29-2012, 10:35 PM   #7
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Re: Am I overreacting?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessi621 View Post
Talk to them about it, make sure that they know you'd want to be called if he has another reaction. If they brush it all off like it's no big deal, then yeah, it might be time to reconsider letting them babysit. But if they seem apologetic and receptive, then I'd give them another chance. I'd also make sure they have benadryl on hand.
This is what I would do, too. I think their reaction would tell me all I would need to know about whether I should trust them as sitters again or not.
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Old 04-30-2012, 06:24 AM   #8
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Re: Am I overreacting?

I would definitely be upset and have a conversation with them about it, but, if this is a one time thing (meaning they've always respected you before) and they see where they went wrong this time, then I would consider allowing them to babysit again.
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Old 04-30-2012, 06:36 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CntryMama
Personally, I do not think you are over reacting. If he was allergic to something and had a plain rash - fine, okay BUT HIVES?!! Hives are different then a rash and can EASILY lead to air way restrictions. I think any parent who does not take hives seriously is... Well, to each their own My dd is a year and has never, and will never, spend the night at anyone's house until she is over 6 years of age (well, unless both DH and I are debilitated!) so if you do not have to leave your son over night there then I wouldn't...
Ditto!
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Old 04-30-2012, 06:38 AM   #10
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Re: Am I overreacting?

I think you are mildly overreacting (hope tHat makes sense).
They did raise your husband and you at least have enough faith in their parenting ability to allow your baby to spend the night there SO on that note I would feel confident that your MIL has probably seen/dealt with hives before and would take care of the situation accordingly. Yes, she probably should have called you and you should let her know that you would appreciate a call in the future BUT I just think that it was not that huge of a deal. I get hives somewhat often and they do suck but they are not a life threatening situation (in this case or in my case).
Just sit down and let her know how you are feeling. She is a mama too and I am sure she will understand. I bet she would have felt the same way if it were her baby, but we don't always put ourselves in others shoes, we just do what feels right.
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