Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-02-2012, 07:25 AM   #1
Mommyto2B2G's Avatar
Mommyto2B2G
Registered Users
Formerly: **kau*
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Wouldn't you like to know ;)
Posts: 1,291
My Mood:
Grieving and multiple m/cs

I think something is wrong with me and I think I need suggestions and advice from those of you who have been there.

I just found out (yesterday) I had my third m/c. The second this year. The last time it happened I was so beside myself in grief I couldn't even speak to anyone for weeks. This time is different. It almost feels like I can't process or feel anything. I feels like I am in a weird fog and I am not even sure if I have fully comprehended what just happened because I should be able to express my feelings.

I have never been in a place like this before and it puzzles me. I find myself joking and carrying on. I find myself not thinking. I have not cried once over it since I found out. I thought at first it was because I was being strong in front of my family but now I am alone and I find myself sitting her absolutely blank and numb when I try to think about it. I was very attached to this pregnancy. I did care, I cared a lot but now I can't grieve? Is this bad? Is this a stage of grief? I almost feel guilty for being able to crawl out of bed this morning. I don't know where to go or how to express my thoughts. Is this something I should seek a grief counselor out or am I going to be ok?

Advertisement

__________________
Proud Mama to: My big guys C (9/2002) and N (10/2003), and my princess (3/2006).
Always missing my angel babies 3/2008, 9/2011, and twins 5/2012
Baby C is here! 5/2013
Mommyto2B2G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2012, 08:12 AM   #2
emeyer76
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Loveland OH
Posts: 1,413
My Mood:
Re: Grieving and multiple m/cs

There is no right or wrong way to feel when you're dealing with this. With my 3rd m/c in a row I was much more numb to it than the two before... sort of like I expected it or something With me, it hit me later... after the diagnosis from the doc, after the actual m/c, and after a week of vacation from work where I didn't cry at all... I just started cleaning my house. It was like a full month later that it really "hit" me. And even then, I was mostly mad and puzzled, in addition to being so, so, so sad.

Be good to yourself. Let yourself grieve the way you need to. If you think that talking with a counselor or a support group will help, by all means do that. I know that there are a lot of helpful places that some of the ladies can refer you to. For me, this S&S group helped me through a lot, even though I'm not super chatty on the board.

__________________
Erica - Married to Jeff, Momma to Gibson, our rainbow baby Josie, and furbaby Boston Terriers Shelby & Penny, forever missing our angel babies Marshall Feb '11 and our Beans Nov '11 & Feb '12
emeyer76 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2012, 10:03 AM   #3
yellowitchgrl's Avatar
yellowitchgrl
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,164
My Mood:
Re: Grieving and multiple m/cs

The third one is always a different experience and however that looks for you it does. It will probably hit later. Just go with it for now. Your brain is protecting your heart. I'm so sorry, I know how much it sucks.
__________________
Sarah. Christian. Married to Jonathan. Proud Mama of 6 boys! Andrew (10), Luke(7) and James (2). My babies born into heaven : Zach, Toby and Simon WAHM behind Sarah's Stitches HyenaCart and Etsy, 10% off with the code: DSE10 Facebook Wetbags, Snack Sacks, Fleece Soakers, Dresses, Naked Time Mats, Dresses, Wipes, Affordable Weighted Blankets and more! Check out my novels!! Ask for other places to buy.
yellowitchgrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2012, 06:12 PM   #4
tazzae's Avatar
tazzae
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 1,006
My Mood:
Re: Grieving and multiple m/cs

I just had my 5th miscarriage last week. Feeling numb seems pretty normal to me. I have been devastated each time but the grief was different after number 3 or so. With this one in particular, I feel as if I've been waiting for 20 weeks for the inevitable to happen. Now it's happened... I think it will hit you (and me) a little later. I agree there's no wrong way to grieve. Try to go easy on yourself
__________________
Tara, happily at home with dd Rowan(4/04)
tazzae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2012, 07:09 AM   #5
myblessedbaby's Avatar
myblessedbaby
Registered
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 4,346
Re: Grieving and multiple m/cs

So sorry mama. Big hugs to you. I would say your numbness is part of the grieving process. It may be different for you from how you dealt with other losses, but being numb is one way for your body/heart to deal with the loss and it's not a wrong way. Just go with what feels right for you. I do think talking it out with someone whether online or IRL is a good thing. Take care of yourself mama.
__________________
-Kate SAHM to John 12/31/07, Grace 10/15/09, Jack ^i^ 5/18/12 , and Jane 5/14/13
myblessedbaby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2012, 01:48 PM   #6
Angelina's Avatar
Angelina
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Sultan, WA
Posts: 447
Re: Grieving and multiple m/cs

It's been months since I lost my pregnancy and I sometimes still feel numb. I recommend a counselor as it has helped me. You never really know how much help you need until you get it. Friends can't really give you what you need, as I'm sure you've already noticed
__________________
Angela, Mother to Abigaile, WAHM Sweet Bobbins

Etsy Coupon Code for 10% off: "DSMAMA12"
Angelina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2012, 07:24 AM   #7
clatchford2011's Avatar
clatchford2011
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Copperas Cove, TX
Posts: 1,543
Re: Grieving and multiple m/cs

mama my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss. There is no specific way that you SHOULD grieve. Every person is different and it takes time for you to heal and understand your emotions. I completely understand the feeling of being numb. Take gentle care of yourself mama

Praying for you
__________________

Catie : Married to my Soldier and bestfriend for 4 awesome years,
Mommy to my little sunshine Isabel Born 12/30/2008
and my little rainbow Jacob Born 11/15/2012
clatchford2011 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2012, 11:35 AM   #8
brookglen's Avatar
brookglen
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,463
Re: Grieving and multiple m/cs

Ms. Kaun, I'm really sorry. I followed your story and was heartbroken for you.

I really think grief is one of those subjective things, in that no two people are meant to deal with it the same. I chose to put my loss behind me as quickly as possible, and I'm still not sure if it was the right way to deal, but none the less that's how it went. I hope you can find peace in this soon, it's just such a sad thing to go through, and unfortunately one of those things that isn't really talked about in real life. I think that was the hardest bit for me, not being able to talk to my mother in law or friends about it to the extent that I wanted to.
brookglen is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.