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Old 08-30-2012, 10:27 PM   #31
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Ashsmama
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I, too, can relate to your feelings of failure.
My first was induced which then resulted in a csection. I never went into labor,.felt contractions, or dilated. At the time I was naive and completely lost at what was going on. I just agreed and let the doctor and nurses do whatever, basically. It was VERY traumatic.
My second was a failed vbac. I was SOOOO excited when I went into labor on my own! I was even excited about my very painful contractions! I am positive my vbac failed because I went to the hospital too early. If I would have waited longer at home I would have had my vbac. I was hysterical as they were wheeling me into the OR. I DID NOT want a csection.
I always get angry at myself when I think of my failed vbac. And I'm even more angry and jelous of people who have vaginal deliveries. It just makes me angry that because of my csections I feel like Im limited in how many kids I can have. Its not suppose to be that way!
It also makes me upset when people choose to have a csection when they are fully able to birth vaginally.
And here I am wishing with all my heart and wanting nothing more than to have a vaginal delivery.
(ok, rant over)

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Old 09-08-2012, 09:13 PM   #32
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Re: anyone else with a failed VBAC?

There is a VERY funny Bob Newhart clip where he acts as a psychiatrist whose sole solution to any problem is to tell patients to "STOP IT!"
While I completely understand what everyone here has gone through, having had a traumatic c-section myself, I also think "just stop it" is the answer.
You can't change the past. You can't make it different.
How your baby came into the world doesn't really matter in the end. What matters is the type of mother you choose to be every morning that you wake up.
A favorite teacher of mine used to tell his class "leave your baggage here". For what purpose are you continually bringing up guilt about the past? Did you do your best? Did you fight your hardest? That's all that matters. There can be no blame in that case.
So maybe it is time to "leave your baggage here". You will still feel sadness about how things happened. But the guilt and the anger doesn't have any place in your life. Be a good mama in the here and now. Nothing else matters.
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