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Old 05-04-2012, 09:19 AM   #21
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Re: An anti-bed sharer needs advice on bed sharing

Your little one sounds just like my first. He wouldn't stay asleep anywhere but in our bed. Cosleeping was the only way to get any sleep at all. I ended up loving it. He was a "high need" night time baby for sure. He has grown into a very sensitive and unique boy. Our 2nd was very similar. Our 3rd is not-he nurses to sleep and goes into his crib in his room for atleast half the night. When he wakes I take him into our bed mainly b/c I'm too tired to deal. He doesn't scream when he wakes up either-he is mellow. (unlike the first 2 when they found themselves in the crib, or co-sleeper) His temperament is so different from the other two. My point is, and as a mom of a few kids yourself, you know this, they are all different and very often born with certain tendencies in place. I've had the opposite problem you have-it's hard for me to sleep when he isn't in bed with me-I'm not used to it and I don't really like it! (although I can't say our bed is empty as the middle one still pops in every night...) we just went with it and as they got old enough transitioned them back to their own beds-but it sounds like many posters on this thread had luck getting their sensitive babies back into atleast a cosleeper or something after a few weeks. If you really aren't comfortable with the bedsharing, do it when you have to but keep trying the crib or whatever. And I agree with PP, read the dr. sears stuff on cosleeping. I found it very reassuring and informative. Good luck!!

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Old 05-04-2012, 09:46 AM   #22
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Re: An anti-bed sharer needs advice on bed sharing

One tip that I found helpful, is putting the baby between me and the wall, instead of me and hubby- that way I didn't have to worry about hubby rolling on the baby. I'm the opposite as you, I have a hard time sleeping if my baby isn't near me, she starts in the bassinet right beside our bed but almost always ends up in our bed (she's 10 months now).
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Old 05-04-2012, 12:40 PM   #23
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I am an avid cosleeping promoter *and* I was constantly freaked out sleeping with LO for the first several months. The sense of caution is good.

Mine wouldn't agree to a cosleeper or bassinet either, it had to be the bed (at 2, he still spends part of the night in my bed, snuggling). He also wouldn't stand for being worn, but wants to be held all the time (still).

I took the big blankets off the bed, and used a twin sized one over just me, so it wouldn't cover LO. And I watched the pillows carefully. Having him between me and the wall helped too.

It might help to know that some studies suggest cosleeping reduces the rate of sids because the baby's sleep/wake patterns mimic the adults'... Theory being that sids occurs when the baby falls asleep too deeply, to oversimplify a lot. Similar to the sids-pacifier theory... Sucking the binkie keeps baby from sleeping as deeply. But cosleeping doesn't require you to buy anything, so the positive benefit is less well marketed.

Yes putting baby in bed increases risk of suffocating, just as walking to the park increases risk of getting hit by a car. But cosleeping may reduce other risks, just as walking to the park reduces obesity. It's necessary to be cautious, but overall you are probably reducing total health risks by taking this one. Breastfeeding should go better, and you will get more rest once you get comfortable nursing while laying on your side (I put baby up on a Breast Friend nursing pillow, and had him nurse from the top breast with our hips tilted away from each other, so even if we fell asleep we'd roll away from each other).

Good luck!
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