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Old 05-09-2012, 02:38 PM   #1
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What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

We just had our first big loss and I was so saddened that NO ONE talks about what to expect. They just tell you to get a D&C or go home and wait but nothing about what to expect, what is "normal" and how scary it can be. This was my experience, it is graphic but I hope it helps someone... somewhere.

I started spotting small bit of red at 10 weeks 2 days, we went for an ultrasound and found no heartbeat and the baby was already shrinking down in size (this happens after it dies so if they tell you it is measuring 2 or 3 weeks smaller then you were along that does not mean it was dead for a long time) and it was surrounded by blood. They gave me my options, plan a D&C for the next day or go home and wait to miscarry which they said could take up to 2 weeks. For me a D&C was not an option so I went home.

I continued to have pregnancy symptoms for the next three days which really messed with me emotionally. On the fourth day the symptoms stopped and the spotting began. On the 5th day I began to bleed about the same as a normal to heavy cycle beginning 11am and at 8pm felt some contractions. Yes, I said contractions, not cramps. It is very different and they came 5 min. apart then 3 min. then every 1 min. Just like birth I felt some pressure and the baby and placenta passed. I kept everything in a container if I ended up going to the ER so it could be inspected.

The contractions continued for 3 hours with a huge gush of blood with each rush. There were some huge blood clots that were a jello like consistency. Some where as large as three of my fingers together. During this time I was checking in with my midwife to make sure everything sounded normal and I didn't have to go to the ER. I sat in the bath tub and soon the entire tub was red. After a little longer I cleaned up and put on two super duty pads and sat up in bed. My midwife told me not to go to sleep for at least 4 hours after I passed the baby to make sure I was not going to hemorage. After another 2 hours the bleeding lessoned and I felt somewhat normal so we went to sleep. We set an alarm for 3am so my hubby could check in on me and make sure I didn't have a fever (a sign of infection) or felt dizzy (a sign of too much blood loss).

This was one of the oddest experiences of my life and something not to be taken lightly. Make sure you always have someone around, that you do not drive (I was very dizzy and faint at times) and that you do not try to be "the hero". It was possible for me to do everything at home as peacefully as possible with my daughters and hubby around for support but I was very cautious. Looking back I am glad I did not choose a D&C but I wish someone had shared their story with me because at one point I really started to panic with how much blood loss I saw. If you have a miscarriage story I encourage you to share it, staying silent does not help other women cope with this type of loss.

UPDATE 5/18
I thought I had successfully miscarried at home and then on day 10 after the baby passed I hemorrhaged and was rushed to the ER for emergency surgery. I was gushing blood and clots the size of my fist. They injured almost every part of my body, at one point I seriously asked a nurse if they were planning on doing anything to my feet because it was the only part of me that had not been wounded. Here is a list of what I can remember but I am sure they did more; IV, catheter, several blood draws from different veins and fingers, pelvic exam, tons of vital monitoring stickys which I ended up being allergic to the adhesive and afterward had welts where they were, and an extensive ultrasound.
They checked my blood levels when I came in to make sure that I would not need a blood transfusion from loss of blood, luckily I was still above the danger zone. After an IV and a very uncomfortable pelvic exam we had an ultrasound which showed my uterus was still very much enlarged and filling with blood fast so they began the procedure for surgery.
They told me I would have to be under and with intubation. I tried to fight the intubation but they said it was for safety reasons (more on that later). I was in surgery for about 90 minutes and recovery for 45 min. The reason for the hemorrhage was part of the placenta was still attached to my uterus which caused the heavy bleeding. They made me use the restroom before I left to make sure everything was fine and sent me home.
I woke the next morning feeling like I was hit by a truck, my whole body ached and my throat was sore. I got through the day with a lot of help from my mom and hubby. I woke on the second day with an extremely sore throat and a very tight / sore neck. I could barely hold my own head up and it was very painful to swallow anything. I called the OB that did the surgery and she called in a heavy pain med for me and suggested I go back to the ER but I was too weak and beat to hell to think about going back at that point.
Looking back on the whole experience I had good reasons for trying to avoid a D&C, however, I think if I knew then what I know now I might have picked a different course. Since my surgery was an emergency I could not avoid intubation. If I had known ahead of time I could have avoided eating for several hours before surgery which would have given me more options to avoid intubation. Since I ate about 5 hours before the surgery they had to intubate me for safety reasons in case I threw up during surgery. Knowing what I know now I might have scheduled the D&C so I could avoid all this trama.

So many of you were SO supportive so I started a thread support group in the TTC forum for those of us who had our m/c and are now TTC again. I hope you come on over!

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Last edited by twinpossible; 05-26-2012 at 10:12 AM. Reason: update
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Old 05-09-2012, 02:51 PM   #2
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I shared mine after my last one. Unfortunately I did hemorrhage too much and passed out at the grocery store with my two littles watching. I thought ohh I'll be fine called dh to come get me and the kids.

Got home took a shower and huge clots were escaping me. But again thought ohh I'll be fine. Drove dh back to the store to get his car so he could go to work.

Got home and called the nurse to inform her I was miscarrying. (ive had two prior ones). Asked me how bad I was bleeding. She said she was calling me an ambulance because I needed to be at the hospital right now

So I called dh and he had to turn back around and we waited for the inlaws to pick up the kids.

At the er I was still hemorrhaging so much that as soon as the dr suctioned me out they could just watch as my uterus would fill back up with blood.

So I was rushed to the or for emergency surgery. The baby was attached to my cervix (or as the medical arena calls it "product of conception")




I'm sorry that you felt like no one talks about it. But it's just something you don't think will happen to you so you may not notice that it's talked about quite often. No one thinks that they will loose their baby and don't even want to fathom the idea.

I hope you can share your story with others.

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Old 05-09-2012, 06:47 PM   #3
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

Thank you
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Old 05-09-2012, 09:22 PM   #4
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

Thank you for sharing this. I get so sick to my stomach when people say "oh its just like a period" and whatnot. No it's not like a period. You don't lose a baby when you have your period. It's devastating.
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Old 05-09-2012, 09:53 PM   #5
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

It is devastating and thank you for sharing. I've had 2 body induced m/cs and recently a d&c. If you want me to add to the post for a d&c experience I will be happy to. I know though that every woman is different but for me my m/cs were easier than the d&c. The d&c actually does have some good points to it too (well not good but as good as it can get in a horrible situation).
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Old 05-10-2012, 07:32 PM   #6
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I am so sorry for your loss!

I totally agree that no one talks about it and no one tells you what to expect. I specifically ASKED what to expect and the dumb@ss doctor said "like the worst period of your life". Rediculous!!! Like you, I LABORED with contractions every 5 minutes, then 3, then 2 for four and a half hours before having to push out everything! It was the most devastating day of my life! I WISH I had known what to expect! I mean, I figured it out after the first contraction. But I wish someone had told me!
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Old 05-10-2012, 07:51 PM   #7
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. Mine was a lot the same. I too was 10 weeks. I had had spotting and an ultrasound showed a heart beat and a SCH so I was given 50/50 of it going either way. Thankfully I had read online about miscarriage, otherwise the contractions would have terrified me. There was so much blood and clots as large as my palm. I couldn't bear to look for my baby, though now I wish I had. I spent the night on the bathroom floor on patio chair cushions because I kept having to get up to pass clots. It was just horrible and there was this fly buzzing around. I went to the doctor the next day and she said everything was fine, bleeding had stopped. But the day after I started having really bad contractions. I went to the ER, basically in labour. They wound up giving me morphine. I was there all day long and then in the evening some stupid doctor came in and said she couldn't read ultrasounds and was sending me home with pain killers. Well, the pain killers made me stoned. My face even went numb. The next day I called and they still could tell me nothing so I called my doctor's office. Another doctor took me and checked me out and said it was a clot which was stuck. I had her and a male doctor with fingers inside of me trying to figure out what was going on. They were very kind but it was so humiliating. I eventually removed the clot myself. blech. It was horrible horrible horrible. I want to smack anyone who says it's like a period.
I'm so so sorry. Miscarriage can be very devastating. Take time to morn your little one. We named our baby, and planted a tree for him (we felt it was a boy) and I got a special bracelet to remember him. I miss him.
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Old 05-10-2012, 08:10 PM   #8
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Old 05-11-2012, 06:36 PM   #9
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Re: What no one tells you about a miscarriage - graphic

I've had 5 natural m/c where baby between 4.5 - 8 weeks. They were manageable at home. The earliest ones (4-5 weeks) were just like a period, but the others had the contractions as others explained. Some clots, but the biggest thing was the gestational sac about the size of a grape. Cramps/bleeding lasted 4 hours or so. Hearing the stories of natural m/c's that happened after 10 weeks scares the crap out of me. Currently I'm 10weeks 2days. I'm starting to lean toward D&C for this pending m/c.

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Originally Posted by Ms.Kaun View Post
It is devastating and thank you for sharing. I've had 2 body induced m/cs and recently a d&c. If you want me to add to the post for a d&c experience I will be happy to. I know though that every woman is different but for me my m/cs were easier than the d&c. The d&c actually does have some good points to it too (well not good but as good as it can get in a horrible situation).
I would be interested in hearing your experience.
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Old 05-11-2012, 06:38 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by twinpossible
We just had our first big loss and I was so saddened that NO ONE talks about what to expect. They just tell you to get a D&C or go home and wait but nothing about what to expect, what is "normal" and how scary it can be. This was my experience, it is graphic but I hope it helps someone... somewhere.

I started spotting small bit of red at 10 weeks 2 days, we went for an ultrasound and found no heartbeat and the baby was already shrinking down in size (this happens after it dies so if they tell you it is measuring 2 or 3 weeks smaller then you were along that does not mean it was dead for a long time) and it was surrounded by blood. They gave me my options, plan a D&C for the next day or go home and wait to miscarry which they said could take up to 2 weeks. For me a D&C was not an option so I went home.

I continued to have pregnancy symptoms for the next three days which really messed with me emotionally. On the fourth day the symptoms stopped and the spotting began. On the 5th day I began to bleed about the same as a normal to heavy cycle beginning 11am and at 8pm felt some contractions. Yes, I said contractions, not cramps. It is very different and they came 5 min. apart then 3 min. then every 1 min. Just like birth I felt some pressure and the baby and placenta passed. I kept everything in a container if I ended up going to the ER so it could be inspected.

The contractions continued for 3 hours with a huge gush of blood with each rush. There were some huge blood clots that were a jello like consistency. Some where as large as three of my fingers together. During this time I was checking in with my midwife to make sure everything sounded normal and I didn't have to go to the ER. I sat in the bath tub and soon the entire tub was red. After a little longer I cleaned up and put on two super duty pads and sat up in bed. My midwife told me not to go to sleep for at least 4 hours after I passed the baby to make sure I was not going to hemorage. After another 2 hours the bleeding lessoned and I felt somewhat normal so we went to sleep. We set an alarm for 3am so my hubby could check in on me and make sure I didn't have a fever (a sign of infection) or felt dizzy (a sign of too much blood loss).

This was one of the oddest experiences of my life and something not to be taken lightly. Make sure you always have someone around, that you do not drive (I was very dizzy and faint at times) and that you do not try to be "the hero". It was possible for me to do everything at home as peacefully as possible with my daughters and hubby around for support but I was very cautious. Looking back I am glad I did not choose a D&C but I wish someone had shared their story with me because at one point I really started to panic with how much blood loss I saw. If you have a miscarriage story I encourage you to share it, staying silent does not help other women cope with this type of loss.
This was my experience, as well.
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