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Old 08-12-2015, 12:52 AM   #1
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No Heartbeat Today :-(

I need to hear from other ladies what they would do in my situation.

I am 41, blessed with one three year old daughter. I was diagnosed with endometriosis at age 36, concentrated on my bladder, after which I had a successful laparoscopy with no recurrence. I had a miscarriage early February this year at approximately 5 weeks.

I've made it to 8 weeks this time. At 6 weeks, there was a heartbeat but also a small pocket of blood the doctor wanted to keep an eye on so he scheduled another u/s in two weeks, which was today.

I knew when he was silent, and looking at different views of the baby, that there was no heartbeat. The baby had grown and measured 8 weeks. He said he was sorry but he didn't see a heartbeat, and it was something that recently happened. He pointed out where he could see the sac beginning to break away from my uterine wall.

Instinctively, I want to believe him. I saw what he saw. I could make out the spinal column and the dormant chest cavity. I could see the thick line he was referring to, where the sac was beginning to break away. But spiritually, I don't know.

His recommendation is a D&C this Friday. I feel some abdominal pressure but I'm not sure whether it's from sitting here moping all day, an impending m/c, or made up by my brain. I've had no bleeding. I still have morning sickness around the clock. He is recommending the D&C so that they can for certain obtain the fetus and test why this is happening. Of course, I badly want to know as well, and fix it.

My heart and spirit are telling me to wait, at least until cramping and bleeding begin. My logic and everything else is telling me to get it over with, now, while it all still seems surreal.

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Old 08-12-2015, 02:33 AM   #2
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Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

I'm so sorry for your loss. Ultimately it's your decision and you should choose what will bring you the most peace. All my losses were completed naturally and I liked the privacy for my grief, but if you choose to let it begin naturally, you'll risk losing the baby and lose your opportunity for testing. I was never offered testing, but that could be valuable information and worth the medical procedure.
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Old 08-12-2015, 03:54 AM   #3
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Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

all I can say is I am sorry for your loss, and that you should do what you think you should do.I have not had miscarriages that I know of myself so I wouldn't event know from experience.
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Old 08-12-2015, 05:41 AM   #4
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Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

I recently went through two miscarriages at 7 wks and 10 wks. So sorry for your loss, mama. It hurts.
My doctor recommended going as naturally as possible. She said a D&C comes with some risk of damaging the cervix/uterus, and should be saved for times when it's really necessary. We did bloodwork twice to see what my hormone levels were doing. She said if the hormone levels were staying steady, my body wouldn't likely progress on it's own before infection became an issue, but if the levels were dropping, then things would likely move along on their own. And in my case, that's what happened. My hormone levels dropped fairly quickly in a couple of days, and I miscarried naturally about 4 days after finding out there was no heartbeat. I was very relieved not to need more intervention. There was a fair bit of bleeding, initially. I'd suggest that if you go that route you plan to stay at home for a while. After the baby and sac were passed though, it was very much like a normal period, and lasted for 10 days or so.
All the best. Take time to rest and grieve. This is hard.
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Last edited by ~Cricket~; 08-12-2015 at 01:39 PM.
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Old 08-12-2015, 08:54 AM   #5
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Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

I am so sorry you are going through this loss.
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Old 08-12-2015, 09:44 AM   #6
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Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

I am so sorry, and only you can decide which route will be best for you. Do whichever gives you the most peace.
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Old 08-12-2015, 11:14 AM   #7
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Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

i am so sorry
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