Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-12-2015, 12:52 AM   #1
Cleokatrah's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Central california
Posts: 1,002
My Mood:
No Heartbeat Today :-(

I need to hear from other ladies what they would do in my situation.

I am 41, blessed with one three year old daughter. I was diagnosed with endometriosis at age 36, concentrated on my bladder, after which I had a successful laparoscopy with no recurrence. I had a miscarriage early February this year at approximately 5 weeks.

I've made it to 8 weeks this time. At 6 weeks, there was a heartbeat but also a small pocket of blood the doctor wanted to keep an eye on so he scheduled another u/s in two weeks, which was today.

I knew when he was silent, and looking at different views of the baby, that there was no heartbeat. The baby had grown and measured 8 weeks. He said he was sorry but he didn't see a heartbeat, and it was something that recently happened. He pointed out where he could see the sac beginning to break away from my uterine wall.

Instinctively, I want to believe him. I saw what he saw. I could make out the spinal column and the dormant chest cavity. I could see the thick line he was referring to, where the sac was beginning to break away. But spiritually, I don't know.

His recommendation is a D&C this Friday. I feel some abdominal pressure but I'm not sure whether it's from sitting here moping all day, an impending m/c, or made up by my brain. I've had no bleeding. I still have morning sickness around the clock. He is recommending the D&C so that they can for certain obtain the fetus and test why this is happening. Of course, I badly want to know as well, and fix it.

My heart and spirit are telling me to wait, at least until cramping and bleeding begin. My logic and everything else is telling me to get it over with, now, while it all still seems surreal.


Cleokatrah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2015, 02:33 AM   #2
Southernbelle's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,609
Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

I'm so sorry for your loss. Ultimately it's your decision and you should choose what will bring you the most peace. All my losses were completed naturally and I liked the privacy for my grief, but if you choose to let it begin naturally, you'll risk losing the baby and lose your opportunity for testing. I was never offered testing, but that could be valuable information and worth the medical procedure.

Mama to 6: DD 6/00, DS 2/02, DD 11/05, DS 12/10, DS 5/14 and DD 7/15
3 angel babies from miscarriages
Southernbelle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2015, 03:54 AM   #3
Registered Users
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: usa
Posts: 15,301
Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

all I can say is I am sorry for your loss, and that you should do what you think you should do.I have not had miscarriages that I know of myself so I wouldn't event know from experience.
Join me making money doing the following: shopkick, Swagbucks, fronto unlock screen , Perk and Perk unlock screen, receipthog,1Q, Free Eats, panel app, qmee, bzzagent, slidejoy unlock screen, smiley360, adme unlock screen, Rewardrack, Snap by Groupon, reviewsio, swaggable, checkpoints referral name: jmnhuisman, pinchme referral code: 54K7J, lootpalace, shopalong , drizzle sms - clock, yerdle, send Earnings, yaarlo referral code JESSA398, ibotta, BrowseU, survey cow unlock referral code is8513604729
abunchoflemons is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2015, 05:41 AM   #4
~Cricket~'s Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,157
My Mood:
Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

I recently went through two miscarriages at 7 wks and 10 wks. So sorry for your loss, mama. It hurts.
My doctor recommended going as naturally as possible. She said a D&C comes with some risk of damaging the cervix/uterus, and should be saved for times when it's really necessary. We did bloodwork twice to see what my hormone levels were doing. She said if the hormone levels were staying steady, my body wouldn't likely progress on it's own before infection became an issue, but if the levels were dropping, then things would likely move along on their own. And in my case, that's what happened. My hormone levels dropped fairly quickly in a couple of days, and I miscarried naturally about 4 days after finding out there was no heartbeat. I was very relieved not to need more intervention. There was a fair bit of bleeding, initially. I'd suggest that if you go that route you plan to stay at home for a while. After the baby and sac were passed though, it was very much like a normal period, and lasted for 10 days or so.
All the best. Take time to rest and grieve. This is hard.
Me DH married for almost 15 years, parents to 7 small people, so far.

Last edited by ~Cricket~; 08-12-2015 at 01:39 PM.
~Cricket~ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2015, 08:54 AM   #5
qsefthuko's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 18,666
Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

I am so sorry you are going through this loss.
qsefthuko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2015, 09:44 AM   #6
mamaberkhie's Avatar
Registered Users
Formerly: 3L*****B*****s
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 4,553
Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

I am so sorry, and only you can decide which route will be best for you. Do whichever gives you the most peace.
Mama to many littles
and baby Remember.
mamaberkhie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2015, 11:14 AM   #7
threestraycats's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Joplin, MO
Posts: 11,471
My Mood:
Re: No Heartbeat Today :-(

i am so sorry
Anna, Catholic Mama & RN to Noah (12), Sophia (9), Quinn (8) & Joseph (4) and Francis (2) & newbie squish, Anthony (6/15).
threestraycats is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2018 VIX-WomensForum LLC. All Rights Reserved.