Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-11-2012, 10:31 AM   #11
Sweet_Fantasy_Fox
No Longer Here
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: ~*West Coast*~
Posts: 61,873
My Mood:
Re: Would this make me a horrible person?

Quote:
Originally Posted by keen1981 View Post
I don't think you should invite her to live with you.

I'm pretty sure if she knew that the gift came with a price, she would be devastated.

Advertisement

Sweet_Fantasy_Fox is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2012, 10:34 AM   #12
dncegrl's Avatar
dncegrl
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,723
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaWillow
How Is it any different than renting a room and saying "no alcohol," or "no meat" if we were vegetarians?
If I were renting a room then I wouldn't have those requirements. If I felt strongly then I would say no alcohol in my fridge but wouldn't have an issue if they had their own fridge they put it in. The same with meat. I wouldn't cook it but if they want it and stocked it in their own refrigerator then I wouldn't say anything then either. I have opened up my house to someone who I didn't agree with but we worked through it and they moved out after 6 months. They didn't pay any rent or anything. It does make a difference of they are paying you.
dncegrl is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2012, 10:35 AM   #13
keen1981's Avatar
keen1981
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 12,360
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaWillow
How Is it any different than renting a room and saying "no alcohol," or "no meat" if we were vegetarians?
I'm pretty sure you are gonna be crossing a serious mommy boundary. I do not believe you should even consider this any more. It's way beyond being companionate to her needs. You are putting YOUR needs before Her's. Sure, we all know breast is best.. But so is minding ur own business. Sorry, I'm a lactation educator, so I get the passion. But it's YOUR passion.

Either be straight forward, 'you are only welcome if you nurse. If I see formula in my house, your butt is in a shelter' or completely move on. I don't think you are doing this out of a kind heart honestly. You want control over how she feeds HER baby. And that's wrong.

I have pregnancy hormones. I apologize. Just literally shocked. SHOCKED.
__________________
BFing, CDing, all natural mama to three boys! Certified lactation Counselor
keen1981 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2012, 10:35 AM   #14
MamaWillow
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 4,584
My Mood:
Re: Would this make me a horrible person?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kätzchen View Post
I'll come out and say it, but I don't know how I'd feel if someone were ff in my home. I would not like it. I feel a little over the top about breastfeeding and would go as far as offering my expressed milk if I knew things were going down hill. :/

I think I know how you feel and what you are trying to say. The best thing you can do is be supportive. Offer whatever help you are willing to give as far as nursing, you never know. Remember, it's not the baby's fault.

Welcome baby Edeltraud! 27-7-2011 Von meinem iPhone gesendet.
Thank you. I would also go as far as offering to either nurse or pump for the baby. He's my nephew and it's really important to us. I am trying to be as supportive as I can...I suppose we will wait and see what happens in the next week.

For the PP who said BFing is not religion, like I said, it is to us. I do not believe in God but I strongly believe in BFing. I think that we have a choice as to what we allow in our home. Some people may not want their kids to see tattoos, or be around an atheist, or may not want meat cooked in their kitchen. If you had very different parenting choices from someone, you probably wouldn't have them living with you. Yeah, they are her choices, but it's my home and I can choose what I want IN MY HOME.

FWIW, I know she likes to drink a lot. The last few weeks of her pregnancy she mentioned drinking, favorite drinks, or a drunken story at least once a day. I worry that she will give up BFing so she can drink again. That's not ok with me and I don't want it rubbed in my face every day if she is living with us.

We already asked her, before the baby was born.
__________________
Rachel, SAHM to a 9yo teenager , a 4yo charmer , and a toddling koala bear , and wife to my hard-working hubs. Mostly AP, co-sleeping (with all 3!), BFing, quite crunchy, thrifty, curly-haired mama. Loving my life.
MamaWillow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2012, 10:40 AM   #15
keen1981's Avatar
keen1981
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 12,360
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaWillow

Thank you. I would also go as far as offering to either nurse or pump for the baby. He's my nephew and it's really important to us. I am trying to be as supportive as I can...I suppose we will wait and see what happens in the next week.

For the PP who said BFing is not religion, like I said, it is to us. I do not believe in God but I strongly believe in BFing. I think that we have a choice as to what we allow in our home. Some people may not want their kids to see tattoos, or be around an atheist, or may not want meat cooked in their kitchen. If you had very different parenting choices from someone, you probably wouldn't have them living with you. Yeah, they are her choices, but it's my home and I can choose what I want IN MY HOME.

FWIW, I know she likes to drink a lot. The last few weeks of her pregnancy she mentioned drinking, favorite drinks, or a drunken story at least once a day. I worry that she will give up BFing so she can drink again. That's not ok with me and I don't want it rubbed in my face every day if she is living with us.

We already asked her, before the baby was born.
Okay, you didn't mention this was your nephew.

But still, again, how can you not see this as a recipe for disaster? Just your comments about drinking insinuate that you will be attempting to control her life. So it's not just nursing. She also can not drink? (which she can do and nurse, btw, within reason)

Do you want to control this situation or help a needy mom???

I guess you need a list. And make her sign on the bottom line. Cause your list grows..
__________________
BFing, CDing, all natural mama to three boys! Certified lactation Counselor
keen1981 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2012, 10:42 AM   #16
dncegrl's Avatar
dncegrl
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,723
My Mood:
Yes you can choose what comes into your home. That's the beauty of having your own place. What shocked me is that you offered for her to stay with you..you knew the things you have mentioned already and now you are saying she has to bf or she can't live with you. If your offer has these conditions then you just shouldn't offer. I would be offended if someone offered me a place to stay and then says oh you have to do this if you want to stay here after its already been offered. It needs to be said up front or just don't offer.
dncegrl is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2012, 10:43 AM   #17
stevensmom's Avatar
stevensmom
Super Moderator
Squeeze your own darn cheeks
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: a little place called Home
Posts: 50,590
My Mood:
I guess I'm confused on a little detail. You said this was a friend. And now the baby's your nephew?

I'm not going to get into the argument because everyone's entitled to their own opinion but that detail left me scratching my head.

**I do know how to spell...my iPod on the other hand does not**
__________________
Erica , wife to Ben, momma to Steven11.06 Emily9.10 Matthew 8.13
Forever in my heart, always on my mind (3.09, 5.09, 12.11)
"Life's too short to buy green bananas"
Swag with me! Bing it!
stevensmom is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2012, 10:48 AM   #18
keen1981's Avatar
keen1981
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 12,360
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevensmom
I guess I'm confused on a little detail. You said this was a friend. And now the baby's your nephew?

I'm not going to get into the argument because everyone's entitled to their own opinion but that detail left me scratching my head.

**I do know how to spell...my iPod on the other hand does not**
Idk if this the same mama, but sometime back I did read something about a posters brother in law getting a woman pregnant. The poster became friends with pregnant mom. And the brother in law is not in relationship with mom. Sounds like this is that poster. My guess.
__________________
BFing, CDing, all natural mama to three boys! Certified lactation Counselor
keen1981 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2012, 10:49 AM   #19
stevensmom's Avatar
stevensmom
Super Moderator
Squeeze your own darn cheeks
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: a little place called Home
Posts: 50,590
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by keen1981

Idk if this the same mama, but sometime back I did read something about a posters brother in law getting a woman pregnant. The poster became friends with pregnant mom. And the brother in law is not in relationship with mom. Sounds like this is that poster. My guess.
Oh okay.

**I do know how to spell...my iPod on the other hand does not**
__________________
Erica , wife to Ben, momma to Steven11.06 Emily9.10 Matthew 8.13
Forever in my heart, always on my mind (3.09, 5.09, 12.11)
"Life's too short to buy green bananas"
Swag with me! Bing it!
stevensmom is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2012, 10:50 AM   #20
dncegrl's Avatar
dncegrl
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,723
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by keen1981

Idk if this the same mama, but sometime back I did read something about a posters brother in law getting a woman pregnant. The poster became friends with pregnant mom. And the brother in law is not in relationship with mom. Sounds like this is that poster. My guess.
Ah! I was a bit confused too. I remember that thread. It makes sense assuming its the same mama.
dncegrl is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.