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Old 05-15-2012, 05:17 PM   #21
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Re: incompatible

I will be praying for you and your family. I just wish there was more that could be done to help you through this difficult time.

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Old 05-15-2012, 06:17 PM   #22
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Re: incompatible

oh mama I'm so sorry
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Old 05-15-2012, 07:05 PM   #23
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Re: incompatible

Praying for you, and your precious baby girl.
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Old 05-15-2012, 07:11 PM   #24
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Re: incompatible

Ddc- praying for you and your family and babe.
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Old 05-15-2012, 10:37 PM   #25
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Re: incompatible

Shannon, I'm so sorry your going through this. I will say a prayer for your family.
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Old 05-15-2012, 11:57 PM   #26
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Re: incompatible

My heart breaks reading your post. There are no words that are adequate to express how sorry I am. You, your husband, your older daughter's little heart, your family and your sweet baby will be in my prayers.

I have lost 2 cousins to Trisomy 13. One lived a few minutes and the other lived a few hours...I know you expressed wanting to hold her while she is alive so I want you to know that it is possible. I agree with the above post about the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep photos. I know that even though it was incredibly hard, my aunts both cherish the pictures that they have of their precious little ones. I also thought this book was very well written, incredibly honest and is written by someone who has been in your shoes:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/re.../dp/080546428X

I pray you are able to enjoy every moment you have together and that you can find comfort in each other.
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Old 05-16-2012, 05:34 AM   #27
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Re: incompatible

Thanks all. We are just trying to get through each day. My husband went to work today and he's having a rough time. I am having a hard time getting out of bed but need to feed the kids. I shared with him about NILMDTS and he read the website and it tore him up. He cannot imagine wanting pictures like that nor having someone intrude on that moment. It's important to me though, so we'll keep talking about it. We have very different views on grief and remembering life. He cannot fathom the idea of a picture of her on our wall, our dead baby, nor can he see us "forcing" our kids to remember her in a specific way. (all things I'd do) It's not wrong for him to feel this way, we just need to keep talking about it. So I'm praying that God will continue to keep us together through this. I know that this can be so hard on a marriage.
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Old 05-16-2012, 06:00 AM   #28
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Re: incompatible

I am so very sorry. I hope for a miracle for your little girl.
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Old 05-16-2012, 06:16 AM   #29
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Re: incompatible

DDC - Couldn't read and not post.

I am so, so very sorry that you are going through this right now :-(

Baby loss is so difficult because to you and your family, it is your child, but it is more difficult for others outside your family to truly understand that, I think.

Even if your daughter's life will be all too short, it is still a very cherished, loved, and wanted life! She feels your presence and your love for her, even though she hasn't been born.

Prayers for your family as you make your way through this difficult part of the journey, prayers that you will find the answers that are right for you, that you and your husband will grow together through the experience and not apart, that you will be able to cherish each moment of your precious daughter's life, and that you will be able to hold her alive, and prayers for healing of all of your hearts in time.
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Old 05-16-2012, 06:55 AM   #30
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Re: incompatible

Maybe he would allow the pictures to be taken, I think they are very non-intrusive!! Then in the future, he'd appreciate them, even if it takes a few years. I can imagine my husband being similarly minded, but once time has passed, maybe he'll be more open to the idea.
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