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Old 05-15-2012, 08:28 AM   #1
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Love and Logic

So several people on here have recommended this book, but then I went and looked it up at the library and was going to put a hold on it to check it out, when I saw the reviews for it. What's the deal with the example of the parents starving the puppy in order to teach their kid a lesson? I was really terribly offended by that. I don't care if kids are capable of feeding an animal, if a parent allows their children to own a pet, it is ultimately the ADULT who is responsible for that pet.

Anyway, I was curious what people found redeeming about the book, and I was surprised that so many people have recommended or liked it, so I wondered if the reviews were taken out of context that mentioned the animal.

I ultimately decided to check out "playful parenting" instead. It seemed more up my alley anyway. Has anyone read it?

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Old 05-15-2012, 10:11 AM   #2
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Re: Love and Logic

love the book but had a hard time with some of the concepts ...ie explaining all the time like why they shouldnt run into the street (the car will hit you) how about because I said NO.
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Old 05-15-2012, 11:52 AM   #3
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Re: Love and Logic

Yeah, i got it based on recommendations. Kind of wish I hadn't. While there are some things in it that I do agree with, the bulk of the book I find ridiculous. Already had 2 Love and Logic things backfire on me. DD had a case of the "I wants" and I followed the example in the book- just to see. Asked her how she would get it, how she would pay for it. Her response was - with my piggy bank. Didn't quite work the way it did in the book. Been trying the uh-oh dinners over thing to for my 18 month old- he ends up screaming at my feet or sitting on my lap eating my food. I do like that the book stresses no lecturing or verbal lesson teaching (well sometimes, sometimes I think things really do need to be explained) just dish out the consequences and let actions speak. I do like that idea of making kids pay for things- an example from the book, child won't stay with mom in the store. Mom calls friend and have friend remove babysit child in the car and child has to pay for the babysitting from his money. I really like that. We're gonna be using this one soon- dd keeps using all my band aids like tape. Told her she was going to have to buy a new box of band aids to replace the ones she used. She wasn't happy, but we'll see if it helps. I sort of agree with the no warnings thing, but I don't get how dd is suppose to know what the problem is if she wasn't given a warning or I don't tell her.
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Old 05-15-2012, 11:55 AM   #4
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I had the one for younger kids. I found it useless. It only touched on some minor issues I felt. I like natural consquences and the ones that were discussed in the book where pretty common sense to me(ie throw a toy, you take the toy). I gave it away right after I read it. The library didnt have it so I felt like I threw $15 in the trash.
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Old 05-15-2012, 01:50 PM   #5
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Re: Love and Logic

I'm reading L&L right now and am not that impressed really. Some of the scenarios I can't fathom doing, like when you see your child hit another child you say nothing b/c that is a problem that needs to be resolved between the kids. Mmmm, okay?!

As for the puppy, I don't think they starve it (not the part I read), they send it away to someone that will feed it, so the kids comes home and the dog is gone and they explain they were tired of seeing it hungry and whiny b/c the kids would forget to feed it.

Still, not the biggest fan right now; only half way through it. :/
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:24 PM   #6
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Re: Love and Logic

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Originally Posted by CountryChicMama View Post
I'm reading L&L right now and am not that impressed really. Some of the scenarios I can't fathom doing, like when you see your child hit another child you say nothing b/c that is a problem that needs to be resolved between the kids. Mmmm, okay?!

As for the puppy, I don't think they starve it (not the part I read), they send it away to someone that will feed it, so the kids comes home and the dog is gone and they explain they were tired of seeing it hungry and whiny b/c the kids would forget to feed it.

Still, not the biggest fan right now; only half way through it. :/
I haven't gotten to the puppy part yet- but I have a huge problem with sending the puppy away. Sending any living thing away because it was hungry and whinny just doesn't set right with me.
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:46 PM   #7
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Re: Love and Logic

I got Love and Logic for teens, and I think it's perfect. I never read any of the younger books, but the teens book is good. It's about teaching personal responsibility. Using phrases like "Have you thought about how you are going to handle that?" instead of offering to help when they have made a bad choice. (like getting arrested, or expelled)

There's no more bailing your teens out of tough situations, it's all about letting them know they can handle it, and you are there if they need you.

Sadly, my daughter chose NOT to go to much trouble to find herself a good college. I waited too long to teach her personal responsibility, and she wonders why *I* didn't fill out any applications or try to get her a scholarship. So, she's in junior college and not doing well there.

Had I read the book earlier in her life, I might have instilled some personal responsibility in her before it was too late.

Basically though, the book is saying "It's always going to be OK.. even if it seems like it won't." If the kids are not committing felonies or using drugs, no matter what, it always works out, so they can afford to make a few mistakes along the way.
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Old 05-16-2012, 07:45 AM   #8
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Re: Love and Logic

Thank you for clarifying the puppy thing. Some of the reviews mentioned descriptions of the puppy's "ribs sticking out" talked about in the book, etc.. and so I was really concerned about that. It sounds like it wasn't so extreme, which is what I expected was probably the case (reviewers can get pretty passionate and extreme), BUT like the pp I don't agree with teaching your kids that it's okay to send the dog away if you don't fee like caring for it (and that was the message sent, IMO).

Anyway, I like natural consequences, too, which is why I initially reserved the book at the library because I thought it would talk along those lines. Sounds like it does, but maybe not in the same vein I was expecting, so i think I'll just check out something else instead.

Thanks for the comments!
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Old 05-16-2012, 11:35 AM   #9
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Re: Love and Logic

Quote:
Originally Posted by escapethevillage View Post
I got Love and Logic for teens, and I think it's perfect. I never read any of the younger books, but the teens book is good. It's about teaching personal responsibility. Using phrases like "Have you thought about how you are going to handle that?" instead of offering to help when they have made a bad choice. (like getting arrested, or expelled)

There's no more bailing your teens out of tough situations, it's all about letting them know they can handle it, and you are there if they need you.

Sadly, my daughter chose NOT to go to much trouble to find herself a good college. I waited too long to teach her personal responsibility, and she wonders why *I* didn't fill out any applications or try to get her a scholarship. So, she's in junior college and not doing well there.

Had I read the book earlier in her life, I might have instilled some personal responsibility in her before it was too late.

Basically though, the book is saying "It's always going to be OK.. even if it seems like it won't." If the kids are not committing felonies or using drugs, no matter what, it always works out, so they can afford to make a few mistakes along the way.
This is basically the kids version as well. Like if the kid doesn't do their homework, you offer empathy and make sure they realize they're responsible, i.e. "That's horrible about your homework. What are you going to do about it?"
Really stresses using "thinking" words rather than "fighting" words or threats.
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:27 PM   #10
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Re: Love and Logic

I read it, and I really liked some of the ideas in it. It's all about natural consequences and having your kids be responsible for themselves. I think some of the strategies don't completely work for some ages, young kids need to be taught how to behave, but once they're 8-10 years old, they know what's inappropriate and if you give them warnings/threaten/bribe/etc., then you're teaching them that they can get what they want by misbehaving. I believe positive reinforcement must be used, and that we, as parents, need to make sure our children are getting the attention they need, because I've found that a TON of bad behavior/arguments stem from either desire for attention or boredom. A lot of what's in the book is common sense stuff, but sometimes it helps to read books like this because it helps you focus on dealing with your kids in a better way (I'm using "you" as a general term, not to anyone specifically. This is just what I like doing).
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