Yelling....how do you controll it?

[happysmileylady]

Try squatting down to her level before you talk. The split second it takes to get down to her level gives you enough think about what you are doing/going to say...and it's hard to yell at top volume when you are almost curled up in a ball.

It doesn't always work for me, but generally if you can remember to get to her level first, the not yelling just naturally flows from there.

[happysmileylady]

Originally Posted by pcjs We don't yell but what we do with that kind of behavior is just put our son in his room. We tell him he's welcome to have the tantrum in his room and let us know when he's done. (and this is when baby gates are a wonderful thing but we usually open it 1/2 way through the tantrum). I don't care if he just plays to calm down with his stuff in there.

Yes to that too, my 3 yr old has started the whining and explosions like that, I started having her sit in the corner for being rude like that. (that's our "time out."

[BNC]

We do time outs and sending her to her room. She gets 1 warning to rephrase whatever it is she is yelling / screeching and then she gets time out. If she continues, she goes to her room. We are consistent (though usually I am yelling at her to stop screeching or she is going to time out, lol!), but it isnt helping. we have been doing that since she was 18 months old (we started time outs at 18 months with all our kids).

[pcjs]

Originally Posted by happysmileylady Yes to that too, my 3 yr old has started the whining and explosions like that, I started having her sit in the corner for being rude like that. (that's our "time out."

How have you gotten her to sit in the corner? My son will not sit in less we hold him and that defeats the purpose as it gives him the attention he wants. (I'm thinking with us its a speech issue though).

[happysmileylady]

Originally Posted by pcjs How have you gotten her to sit in the corner? My son will not sit in less we hold him and that defeats the purpose as it gives him the attention he wants. (I'm thinking with us its a speech issue though).

Honestly, for some reason, sitting there has never been an issue! It kinda surprised me, but when I started it, about a year and a half ago, so about 2.5, she just sat there when I put her there.

I generally do "Supernanny style" sit in the corner. I pick her up and carry her, or take her hand and walk her to the corner. I sit her down, tell her she's in the corner for screaming at mommy/hitting sissy/kicking daddy/whatever the offense was and that she has 3 minutes in the corner. And, she just stays there. At the end of three minutes, I go over, tell her that she was there for whatever she did wrong, tell her she is not supposed to do that, then give her hugs and tell her to go play. I don't do the forced apology on Supernanny because a) I don't believe in forced apologies, b) my 3 yr old doesn't have the vocabulary to say it or understand it anyway.

I was totally prepared to have to put her back in the corner multiple times, spend a great deal of time getting her to understand the concept. But, I ended up not having to. The only possible explaination I have as to why I didn't have to is because I DID have to do it when putting her down to bed/for a nap. We spent WEEKS putting her back in her bed when she got her big girl bed. She would get up and we would put her back in bed and she would get up and we would put her back in bed and she would get up and we would put her back in bed. That went on for almost a month but she did learn that we were going to keep putting her back where we told her to go.

[littlehands]

I'm the mama of 6 and a yeller. I wish I could say that it gets better with experience but, in my case, really, more kids just means more stress.

My 9yo son is hugely challenging. I seriously think he's the most difficult child I've ever met. And, yes, I yell. A lot.

I totally know what you mean by pushing all the buttons all the time. I pretty much have a fight or flight adrenaline reaction to his behavior. It's my cross as a mother that I have to pick up and fight every. single. day. Some days I do good; some days I fail miserably.

[badmisterkitty]

I'm a lazy fat pregnant woman right now, so unfortunately yelling is part of my parenting arsenal sometimes. I try not to, but sometimes they get my blood pressure going and I can't help myself. I don't want to sit down on the floor at their level and try to work it out. I just want it done, kwim?

Our 4 year old is a screamer/cryer. We worked on helping her cope with all the crap that sets her off and it helped some. When she's crabby and yelling just to be crabby and yelling, I take away something she loves and remind her that she's not allowed to talk to me like that.

I don't know. I don't have it all figured out.Seems like something will work for awhile, then stop working so I need to switch it up. My almost 2 year old is actually more agrivating these days, but I know yelling is pointless. It frightens her and she just doesn't understand. Her refusal to cooperate makes my blood boil and I just want to flush her down the toilet sometimes.

[BNC]

Originally Posted by happysmileylady Honestly, for some reason, sitting there has never been an issue! It kinda surprised me, but when I started it, about a year and a half ago, so about 2.5, she just sat there when I put her there. I generally do "Supernanny style" sit in the corner. I pick her up and carry her, or take her hand and walk her to the corner. I sit her down, tell her she's in the corner for screaming at mommy/hitting sissy/kicking daddy/whatever the offense was and that she has 3 minutes in the corner. And, she just stays there. At the end of three minutes, I go over, tell her that she was there for whatever she did wrong, tell her she is not supposed to do that, then give her hugs and tell her to go play. I don't do the forced apology on Supernanny because a) I don't believe in forced apologies, b) my 3 yr old doesn't have the vocabulary to say it or understand it anyway. I was totally prepared to have to put her back in the corner multiple times, spend a great deal of time getting her to understand the concept. But, I ended up not having to. The only possible explaination I have as to why I didn't have to is because I DID have to do it when putting her down to bed/for a nap. We spent WEEKS putting her back in her bed when she got her big girl bed. She would get up and we would put her back in bed and she would get up and we would put her back in bed and she would get up and we would put her back in bed. That went on for almost a month but she did learn that we were going to keep putting her back where we told her to go.

Thats what we do. started at 18 months, and never had an issuing getting them to stay. Never had any luck getting it to change behaviors either, lol!

[littlehands]

Originally Posted by badmisterkitty I don't know. I don't have it all figured out.Seems like something will work for awhile, then stop working so I need to switch it up. My almost 2 year old is actually more agrivating these days, but I know yelling is pointless. It frightens her and she just doesn't understand. Her refusal to cooperate makes my blood boil and I just want to flush her down the toilet sometimes.

[iris0110]

Tharen has gotten to the point he has pushed dh to yelling. Dh has no temper at all (really the man is almost impossible to push, even I usually can't do it and I am impossible to deal with) but Tharen has managed it. I know things are stressful around here right now between Tharen needing a ton of dental work and our house needing a ton of work but his attitude has gone too far. We are working with his pedi but it is time for him to go to the psychiatrist I think. I am unfortunately a yeller. I don't want to be and it is something I am constantly working on. My grandmother raised my brother and I and she was emotionally and verbally abusive. I have never seen "good parenting". I think that is why I was drawn to attachment parenting when my boys were tiny, it was a way to be in tune with them and as far from what my grandmother did as possible. Now that they are older and Tharen is very difficult it is hard not to slip into yelling. I'm doing my best.