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Old 05-29-2012, 01:18 PM   #21
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Re: Attachment parenting frustration rant

I could have written this post a couple months ago. I promise it DOES get easier. That age was very difficult for me...I was getting burnout from providing constant entertainment and closeness. Things changed and parenting my baby girl got 1000x easier once she was sitting up, playing independently (even for only 2 minutes at a time), and when she was crawling I realized I actually LIKED being a mom.

I don't have much advice other than what everyone else has given you. I too am a bit of a loner but I really enjoyed going to LLL meetings, so if you have something similar I would definitely recommend it. Hugs mama.

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Old 05-29-2012, 01:22 PM   #22
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Re: Attachment parenting frustration rant

Oh and I agree with getting out of the house, even if there's not really anything to do Just walking around in Walmart's AC rather than staying in the house all day can make a HUGE difference! Library, grocery store, whatever...
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Old 05-29-2012, 01:59 PM   #23
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Re: Attachment parenting frustration rant

I don't have any magical, great advice, but just wanted to offer I've been there. Sometimes I still am there. As much as I love being a SAHM, it can be really difficult. My life has done a 180 since Lennon was born - everything revolves around him. I can say, that as he's gotten older it's gotten better. The infant stage is hard. The babymoon ends, they're teethy, fussy, it's hard to leave them with other people to get time out, ect. Basically reality sets in. As they get older you can go out and do more without worrying about pooping/feeding schedules, do play dates with other kids. Sure, my 2 1/2 year old throws fits in public and going somewhere out of the house is a whole NEW set of obstacles, but there will always be something. Don't let things hold you back. Kids will be kids, and there will always be a million reasons NOT to go somewhere or NOT to do something - but get out there. See what is free in your community. Even talking your baby on a walk or to the park! Mix things up. Every stage is so precious, and they really do grow fast. Just try and roll with the punches.
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Old 05-29-2012, 02:04 PM   #24
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This sounds exactly like me. Minus the low sex drive part although I had that with my first. I don't really have much advice but as someone who's been there-it'll get better. May take a little while but it will. My son goes through period like that still, but only for a few days at a time. You're doing fine. Not a bad mom or wife. Promise. )
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Old 05-29-2012, 02:07 PM   #25
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Re: Attachment parenting frustration rant

I definitely second the ring sling for nursing. They can be made in lots of different lightweight fabrics, and it's the easiest sling to nurse in for sure. I understand what you mean about not being able to afford to go out- even though we live in a small town it's still hard to go out for that very reason. I know that if I leave the house I'm paying for gas + whatever I talk myself into buying. I've started just going for a walk with my toddler and the baby instead of driving somewhere.
You've gotten lots of good advice otherwise. I agree that the transition from 0 to 1 is the hardest. We just had #2 and that seems like a breeze in comparison!
If you really need some time away, can you try to plan a date night and go out for just an hour, hour and 1/2 or so?
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Old 05-29-2012, 03:13 PM   #26
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Re: Attachment parenting frustration rant

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Originally Posted by dagmomma View Post
I have 3 kids and I honestly believe the hardest transition was having number 1!!!! Yes not 1 to 2 or 2 to 3. It was most definately 0 to 1!!!!!!
I have 2 kids, and OMG, yes to this 1000% I was shocked at how easy the transition to 2 was compared with going from 0-1. Your entire world changes when you have a baby and it is a HUGE adjustment.

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Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes View Post
being AP doesnt mean you have to be in the house all day. join LLL and meet some other AP mamas and start a play group, go for a hike, go out to lunch etc. get a jogging stroller and go rollerblading, go swimming. Learn to nurse walking around using a carrier. it's great
And absolutely agree with this. With my first I got out and went to a BF'ing support group at least once a week, sometimes more. It was the only thing that kept me from going off the deep end. Just hanging out with other new mamas and talking (and BF'ing was not all that we talked about) was so helpful. And part of what we did as a family to help us with the transition to parenthood was to not let having a baby stop us from going places and doing things. I used a carrier, I BF'd, everything else could go in a diaper bag. And we went. To restaurants, to company events, to my volunteer duties. We just incorporated baby into the life we already had as much as we could.

I know it is hard, so also sending you a big .
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Old 05-29-2012, 06:15 PM   #27
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Your frustrations are not exclusive to attachment parenting. No amount of time spent with children prepares you for the DRASTIC changes in lifestyle accompanied by having a small baby. It's gets better as they grow, and it goes by fast! Enjoy it as much as you can!
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Old 05-29-2012, 06:37 PM   #28
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Re: Attachment parenting frustration rant

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes View Post
being AP doesnt mean you have to be in the house all day. join LLL and meet some other AP mamas and start a play group, go for a hike, go out to lunch etc. get a jogging stroller and go rollerblading, go swimming. Learn to nurse walking around using a carrier. it's great
I agree with this. And also, doing attachment parenting doesn't mean that you NEVER. LEAVE. BABY! You can still leave the baby with someone and do your own thing. In fact, you need to do this so you can go back and be a good parent. You're still a person, you still have needs and wants, and you DESERVE to do your own thing.

I can't remember how old your baby is, I believe you said 5 months? By that age, mine were both nursing every 3 hours or so. It's totally okay to to start introduing more of a structured nursing "schedule." Just because you're nursing on demand doesn't mean you can't get a routine in place. For instance, I did the "eat-play-sleep" routine with mine. Times changed and nothing was set in stone, but basically the baby nursed, did some awake/active time, then had a nap. This should give you a little break from being on call 24 hours a day for nursing.

I would also try to get out as much as possible. When I only had one baby, my life basically didn't change too much. I went to bookstores, hung out with friends, went to the beach, did all my usual stuff. It wasn't until my first started walking and being on more of a "I must nap in my crib ONLY" kind of routine that I stayed home more.

Perhaps if you want to get out without baby you and your husband can arrange one or two nights a week that are set in stone as being "your" nights. That way you can still hang out with him like he wants, but have a couple of evenings to look forward to as being yours. On my personal nights, I go to the thrift store with no kids, then go to the bookstore, get a coffee, and browse. Super exciting eh? But it keeps me sane.

Also try to keep in mind that this stage is but a small blip in your life. The first year can be hard but you probably have 60 years of life or more left, so when you think of it that way, the time will go by fast. And I know it's a cliche but OMG, try to enjoy it as much as possible! I'm not sure if I will have more kids, but there are days when I think I will die if I don't get to sit in a rocking chair nursing a baby again
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Old 05-29-2012, 07:02 PM   #29
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Re: Attachment parenting frustration rant

I know what you are going through mama. I've been there. I had my son when I was living in a tiny 2 bedroom trailer in the sticks. Even the closest super Walmart was 45 minutes away. Life was HARD. I would drive 1 1/2 each way twice a month to go to LLL though and that helped tremendously. If there isn't a local group to you, find one. If it's far, TRY to find a way to make those meetings.

I read this article a few months ago and it made me feel so much better. I knew I wasn't alone. Maybe this will help you too (and all you other mamas!)
To The Mother With Only One Child
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Old 05-29-2012, 08:51 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by erkelly
I know what you are going through mama. I've been there. I had my son when I was living in a tiny 2 bedroom trailer in the sticks. Even the closest super Walmart was 45 minutes away. Life was HARD. I would drive 1 1/2 each way twice a month to go to LLL though and that helped tremendously. If there isn't a local group to you, find one. If it's far, TRY to find a way to make those meetings.

I read this article a few months ago and it made me feel so much better. I knew I wasn't alone. Maybe this will help you too (and all you other mamas!)
To The Mother With Only One Child
I wish I had read this months ago Thank you for sharing!
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