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Old 05-30-2012, 05:33 AM   #21
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Re: How did you decide who would get your kids if something happened to you?

We picked my parents. While they arent perfect, they would keep the best interest of the children even if it werent raising them like we would. We do have life insurance but if it werent enough or what ever I know my parents are stable and could/would care for the children's needs. Not one other family member is stable enough for that. I also know that my parents would make sure that the kids still got to know and see their other family members even though they are in a different state from my DH's family. So while not perfect, we picked the best situation out of our options and hope that if anything were to happen that it would work out smoothly.


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Old 05-30-2012, 05:46 AM   #22
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We picked the person who would raise our children in the most similar style to husbands sister. I would never pick parents because of age...and she is the only sibling who has similar beliefs. We asked and gave her time to say yes. She jokes that any more than 2 kids shed have to reconsider. Good thing we are finished.

After her is my husbands best friend and his wife.

No one needs to know about it because it is your personal choice and only needs to be writing. We used legal zoom for our wills.

Good luck! It's not easy but go with who is the most similar to you guys.
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Old 05-30-2012, 07:06 AM   #23
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Are either if the two male friends a good fit otherwise? Maybe ask them if they would be willing to take the kids. I wouldn't necessarily discount someone just because they are single. Unless of course they don't want kids.

Last edited by Janine; 05-30-2012 at 07:18 AM.
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Old 05-30-2012, 07:06 AM   #24
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We chose my best friend.

When it came down to it, my whole family was out, and his family are great. His Oldest sister have two kids, but I felt that her DH had some things to figure out. His Youngest sister has 3 now and wants more.... so I do not think my DDs will fit there (not to mention she said he brother and I are only married because I got prego). His parents, I didn't want to burdon them. DD1's godfather is out, and my SIL is her godmother.

My bestfriend and I have raised our two girls together before I got prego and we moved since her and my oldest we 4 and 3. We were both military spouses and had worked together to both work out of the home while the men where gone (and on different commands at that). I know her DH and her will allow everyone to see the kids and would treat my girls as if they were her own and so would her DH. This is why we chose them because they loved or DD1 as if she was their child. HTH.
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Old 05-30-2012, 07:15 AM   #25
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Re: How did you decide who would get your kids if something happened to you?

We decided shortly after DS was born. It really came down to my side of the family. We cancelled out my parents because they are now in their 70's and while they really want to help us if something were to happen, we know that it would make life much harder for both my parents and DS. That left us with my 2 sisters, one who is 10 years older than me and another who is 1.5 years older than me.

DH and I discussed both their financial security (even though we have policies that would help out, we do need to know that DS will be with someone who is fiscally responsible), their way of raising children, their relationships with their husbands, and their ability to take on another child unexpectedly. That helped narrow things down and we ended up choosing someone we are most comfortable with.

Once our second child is born, however, we might have to rethink things again, but I am sure we'll stick with the same decision.
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Old 05-30-2012, 07:25 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by Hillargh

Dear partner, usually.

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well that's what I thought but she also says dh?
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Old 05-30-2012, 07:51 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by Mama*Kim
We did something a little different. We wrote down a list of traits we'd want in the home the kids went to, and made a list of possible people. If DH and I both passed away, all the people on the list will work together to decide who's home is the best fit for the kids compared to our list. The people include my parents, bro and SIL, and my cousin and her husband. The list includes things like a two parent household, focus on education, etc. We have enough life insurance that finances aren't a huge issue. My mom has the most authority to make the final decision, even if her's isn't the home they go to.
I like this.

Having our children in a Christian home similar to ours would be very important to us. My cousin would be the closest match to us but my bil and his wife are the closest to my kids and love them dearly. They do attend church but Are not as "devout" as we are, kwim? I may consider writing down our desires for education, Christian upbringing, etc. and let our chosen people decide. I can imagine if something were to happen to us that our family would want to fulfill our wishes and put our kids with the family that is most willing and capable of raising them the way we want.
Emerson - happy, far-from-perfect, Christian, not-so-crunchy wife to K(3/05) and momma to M(11/06), S(2/08), and N(1/12)
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Old 05-30-2012, 08:04 AM   #28
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Re: How did you decide who would get your kids if something happened to you?

We haven't officially chosen anyone in writing, but......I think my oldest brother and his wife would be the only ones willing to take on all our kids and raise them how we want. They love kids, wanted lots, and have only been able to have one. They are the same religion as us and have the same life values. We really should talk to them about it sometime.
Jeanie, wife of Paul, mommy of Aurora-20 and married (5/23/94), Oliver-18 (12/27/95), Simon-15 (9/11/98), Savannah-14 (4/9/00), Harrison-11 (2/26/03), Genevieve-9 (2/24/05), and Sebastian-6 (4/24/08), Precious Baby Girl (lost 8/10), Magnus-(4/26/14)
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Old 05-30-2012, 08:06 AM   #29
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They'll go to my parents.. Andrews parents are in their mid 60s whereas mine are in their mid 40s so they are younger.. My parents know this and are ok with it.. My parents would raise my kids the way we want them to, no doubt, and they'd be around for awhile and can keep up with toddlers lol his parents are just unable to keep up as well.
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Old 05-30-2012, 09:45 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by okiemama

well that's what I thought but she also says dh?
Some have open relationships, mama

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