I think it's over

[indigo152]

I think that today is the day that I no longer nurse my son. I am feeling a little sad, but also feel that it's perfectly ok.
My DS will be 10 months next week. He has had slow weight gain since two months, and has taken some formula since then. At six months we increased to three bottles a day.
During his first few months I felt completely stressed about his slow weight gain. I tried fenugreek and pumping, but his weight gain was still slow. I was also caring for my now 3 year old DD, so didn't have much time for pumping. I cried every time I took him to the doctor for weight checks. I felt as though I couldn't provide for him. When I finally increased formula to the three bottles a day I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. He is gaining weight, but is on the 1% scale. I have come to realize that I just have petite babies!
Over the past few months nursing has not been too enjoyable for me. My son gets very distracted if we try to nurse in public. He ends up not nursing at all, or biting me. He is also very fidgety at the breast. I am sure it has to do with low milk supply from thr increased formula. In any case, I hurts me to be pulled all over the place, or used as a teething toy - ouch!
Anyways, today I am going to try no nursing. I think it's ok, but of course I have some guilt. It will all be ok, right?

[hippiechick77]

Pat yourself on the back for all the hard work you have done to nurse your child. I too had supply issues with both sons and dealt with many of the problems you mentioned so I know how frustrating it it. For me fenugreek and pumping never did much either, I ended up using domperidone which worked like a charm. It may help to nurse just a couple times a day when he is calmer and not distracted but I think if you decide to stop all together, that's ok too. Great job mama

[percussionsmith]

It all will be OK. Absolutely. The most important thing a mother can do is give unconditional love. The rest is just details.
You tried hard, you worried, you cared, you made choices to keep him as healthy as you could and its working. There is NOTHING, absolutely Nothing wrong with that. Find your peace.

[thtr4me]

Please allow yourself to grieve the end of this part of your relationship with your baby as you feel is necessary. For some reason, mama guilt just seems to be genetic. I think it may be wired onto our X chromosome. It is okay to stop. It is okay to have guilt about doing so. And it is okay to grieve the passing of this part of babyhood. And yes, your baby will be okay. You have done a great job mama!

[indigo152]

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. I tend to read the wrong kinds of message boards where moms bash the use of formula. They often imply that you just might be the world's worst mother if you ever think of giving your baby formula. I guess that I have to remember that my mom gave me formula, and I have survived without health issues!

Well, it is 9:15pm, and I have not nursed my son at all today. Unfortunately, he is still very awake right now. Maybe he will just let me rock him to sleep.

[kocho]

((HUGS)) Mama. It's a tough decision. But you have to do whatever is best for your family.

[abunchoflemons]

I know how u feel with my oldest I was same way but only bf mine for 3 to 6 month b4 stop. Not make to 10month. Second I I'm still bfing & over yr old.