SAHM vs WOHM (if you've been both, which is...)

[Kabuki24]

I'm really just curious. If you've been a WOHM (full time) but decided to be a SAHM (with no PT job) or vice versa, which was more difficult? I'm talking in terms of which was more stressful, which was more emotionally difficult, were you tired more being a SAHM or WOHM?

I'm just asking because I WOHM, semi stressful job, come home, take care of my baby, make dinner... exhausted all the time!!! It's so worth it, but I always wonder if being a SAHM would be easier or more difficult.

[KaleidoscopeEyes]

i dont think either are hard. I liked SAH because i never had to miss anything while i was at work. working is nice because i made a lot of work friends. I think when i sah the house was a lot cleaner than when DH sah though

Obviously if I WOH AND had to come home and do all the duties of a SAHM i would be stressed too. Why are you doing everything? I would make DH take turns.

[Rockinmama24]

WOHM was so much easier for me! Now I'm a fulltime student & SAHM & I find it much easier than a full blown SAHM even though I have infinitly more work.
I was a WOHM for 4 years, SAHM for 10 years, now a f/t student for a year.

[Kabuki24]

Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes i dont think either are hard. I liked SAH because i never had to miss anything while i was at work. working is nice because i made a lot of work friends. I think when i sah the house was a lot cleaner than when DH sah though Obviously if I WOH AND had to come home and do all the duties of a SAHM i would be stressed too. Why are you doing everything? I would make DH take turns.

Have a big house to take care of... lots of laundry, grocery shopping... lawn care, it just all adds up.

[eracheld]

WOH was more stressful but SAH is more exhausting to me.

[BunnyMcFluff]

Both were hard, IME. When I was a SAHM, money was ALWAYS tight (non-existant, really), and we lived in an isolated community so I didn't really get adult time. But, we were well rested and my house was clean, and I had time to pursue some hobbies.

Now, I am a full time WOHM. Money is no problem, and I have scads of adult time. Work is kind of my break from the kids. But, I'm always tired, my house is a wreck sometimes, and we move through our day at breakneck speed (though some of this is because I have older kids now and they all do sports).

I sometimes feel that my small two got a little shafted because they're not with me FT the way the older two were. But my older two got shafted because we were poor when they were small. So...I guess it's kind of a wash, yk?

[AnimalHouse]

I was a SAHM after DS1 was born, and then went back to work FT when he was 15 months old. I worked until DS2 was born, and have been a SAHM ever since. My job was stressful, with long, odd hours... but I feel like being a WOHM was easier for me than being a SAHM .

Easier in the sense that I loved my job and co-workers... for me, going to work every day was fun, and it felt like a "break" to me. I still had to come home and clean the house and cook dinner, while taking care of DS1 (DH worked FT and went to school FT), but that wasn't too bad.

Now that I have more than one child, I couldn't imagine working FT.

[llamabeans]

WOHM was easier on me. There was more structure as far as time. There wasn't a lot of free time so I made every minute count. But, I also dealt with a DH who worked 60 hours a week so I was left to do a lot of the stuff like clean, cook, laundry. He helped when he could, but it was never to my standards. I guess the ones who (unknowingly) dealt with things were the kids. They spent a lot of time in other peoples care.

SAHM is hard because I feel limited as to what I can get done. I have so many things I want to do but cannot get done with kids and I already do probably more than your average SAHM. I know as my youngest kids get older it will get easier. But it is very mentally demanding for me. More than managing multiple construction jobs 8 hours a day was. At least then I could go to the lunch room and eat uninterrupted for an hour and had a lot of work friends, a lot of goof off time when I should have been working.

[foodie.yarnie.mommie.]

For me it's hard to say, when I WOH we only had one little one and a tiny house and we were both working and going to school plus we had a lot of help from family near by. So I kinda see my WOHM days as easier. Since I've been a SAHM we've had two more kiddos, live far away from family, have a bigger house (more to clean) and kiddos in school and sports and hubby expects me to do everything with no help because I don't work. so SAHM is more stressful for me, but also waaay more worth the stress, I feel blessed and thankful everyday.

[Geckmumto3]

Good and bad for both...

WOHM- I had the stress of not being with my children. I missed them. I felt I wasn't doing as good of a job at work as I did pre-kids. But, I was moving professionally, LOVED my job, felt successful daily, got props from co-workers, made more money, looked pretty every day....

SAHM- I don't get props very often. I pull the heavier load of the workload in the house (as I feel it should be, but it is overwhelming sometimes), I don't own anything pretty anymore, or so it seems, I make far less money, successes are small and may not be visible to other people and bad days are incredibly personal. You cannot just shut the door on this "job." But, I get to be here with my kids every day. I get to watch them grow. That is worth more than any of the hardships, IMO.

Personally, for me WOH was harder, because my heart is here. Not because my life and the demands were more or less in either role.