Diaper Swappers

jc12551 · 06-03-2012, 01:58 PM

My FIL moves in with us before the baby is born and stays for MONTHS afterwards. It is stressful and yet, relieves stress at the same time. This time he is coming in August and leaving in January.

He cleans, does laundry, and takes care of the other kiddos. He is cool with baby wearing, breastfeeding, and using the birth center. He is not cool with cloth diapers. No idea why?!?

My MIL and my mom have NEVER shown up for the birth of our children. MIL works full time as a dean of a college so she is busy. My mom has no excuse.

jc12551 · 06-03-2012, 01:59 PM

My FIL moves in with us before the baby is born and stays for MONTHS afterwards. It is stressful and yet, relieves stress at the same time. This time he is coming in August and leaving in January.

He cleans, does laundry, and takes care of the other kiddos. He is cool with baby wearing, breastfeeding, and using the birth center. He is not cool with cloth diapers. No idea why?!?

My MIL and my mom have NEVER shown up for the birth of our children. MIL works full time as a dean of a college so she is busy. My mom has no excuse.

KaleidoscopeEyes · 06-03-2012, 02:01 PM

With ds1 i moved in with xMIL when x went into the army just after his birht
ds2 we were living with xinlaws when he was born
MIL lives with us now so she will be here after baby is here

i like both of my inlaws well enough that having them around isnt an issue for me.

JennTheMomma · 06-03-2012, 02:07 PM

My mom stayed with us the first day after ds2 was born, and MIL had ds1. If my MIL wanted to stay with us or at a hotel near by, that's fine by me. I just stay in bed with babe anyways.

MacMomma · 06-03-2012, 02:16 PM

My mom came the second day pp and stayed a week. She was so helpful! She cooked, ran errands, laundry, etc. She didn't bf me but is supportive of me bfing DS. Plus she loved the cloth!

My MIL has great intentions, but she "hovers", and she kinda stresses me out when she stays overnight. Plus I know she thinks I'm kinda nuts with parenting choices although she would never say anything to me. Thankfully she never requested to stay with us, even though I know she wishes she could.

Michelle_M · 06-03-2012, 02:33 PM

No.. No . no no no no no no.
LOL

I would NOT want my MIL here right after having a baby. I couldn't handle it.

God bless!

bluemoonbutterfly · 06-03-2012, 02:47 PM

Nope. I am sure she would come over and help out if needed, but I just take care of it myself. I will end up doing just like I did when my other children where born. Same rountine as before just with another child in the house.

CM6755 · 06-03-2012, 03:09 PM

You are a very lucky person (all of you who have great-polite MIL's) mine has been trying to split us up since my baby shower 3.5 years ago...and told DH's SIL that she was coming to visit us for a month after DS was born to make my life a living hell so her son would see what a b***h I really am...sigh...

My mom doesn't support any parenting decisions I make for my older girls (nieces) who used to live with her, and tells them that they don't have to listen to me cause I was a bad kid when I was their age anyway...sheesh...

thanks but no thanks on those two 'helping' I want to hire a baby nurse/housekeeper for a week or so....but have no idea where to start...homework homework homework...LOL

If MIL is sweet and understanding she should be open to coming to visit the week after your mom leaves...tell her about the topless thing, she may not have breastfed but she is a Mom and a woman...maybe she wanted to breastfeed but couldn't...so who knows, maybe she'll be okay...if hubby doesn't grope you in front of her then the sexual part of topless is out of the scenario...LOL

Puimomma · 06-03-2012, 04:40 PM

(Please excuse my poor English) For me, I won't mind if my MIL wants to stay with me. My MIL and I get along great, we have so many things in common. She is very nice and kind to me. She calls me more often than she calls her son(aka my husband). I can just tell her if I want some private time with my LO. My family lives half way across the world, 13 hours different. I'm expecting my first child in July and I WISH my family especially my grandmother and my mom were here with me so badly. IMO, I think you are luck and should be thankful to have both of your husband's family and yours near by and are willing to help you. Plus your MIL is not going to stay with you forever like ever ever. ^^

nonipie · 06-03-2012, 05:10 PM

No one...NO ONE stays with use after the birth. We made a mistake with our first and let my mom come and never again. Neither my mom or MIL are helpful. They THINK they are and mean well but it's just more stress for us. MIL is not supportive of BFing and my mom is a narcissist. If I need additional help this time we will be hiring someone and having friends pitch in. They are welcome to come after the first month or so but not the first few weeks. DH always takes 2 weeks off and then is flexible for the next few weeks and we have some great like-minded friends here.

For your MIL I would really just tell her no. If her feelings get hurt that's on her. You need to do what is best for your family. I would say something along the lines of, "we really want to focus on me healing and the family bonding on our own schedule. We would love it if you want to come visit in a month".

06-03-2012, 01:58 PM	#21
jc12551 Registered Users Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN Posts: 1,688 Ratings: 42 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: s/o Do you want MIL to stay with you pp? My FIL moves in with us before the baby is born and stays for MONTHS afterwards. It is stressful and yet, relieves stress at the same time. This time he is coming in August and leaving in January. He cleans, does laundry, and takes care of the other kiddos. He is cool with baby wearing, breastfeeding, and using the birth center. He is not cool with cloth diapers. No idea why?!? My MIL and my mom have NEVER shown up for the birth of our children. MIL works full time as a dean of a college so she is busy. My mom has no excuse. __________________ Jessica-Adventist, missionary teacher, flexitarian, married, mom to A (7/01), J (5/10), and A (8/12)! Come Swag with Me

06-03-2012, 01:59 PM	#22
jc12551 Registered Users Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: TN Posts: 1,688 Ratings: 42 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: s/o Do you want MIL to stay with you pp? My FIL moves in with us before the baby is born and stays for MONTHS afterwards. It is stressful and yet, relieves stress at the same time. This time he is coming in August and leaving in January. He cleans, does laundry, and takes care of the other kiddos. He is cool with baby wearing, breastfeeding, and using the birth center. He is not cool with cloth diapers. No idea why?!? My MIL and my mom have NEVER shown up for the birth of our children. MIL works full time as a dean of a college so she is busy. My mom has no excuse. __________________ Jessica-Adventist, missionary teacher, flexitarian, married, mom to A (7/01), J (5/10), and A (8/12)! Come Swag with Me

06-03-2012, 02:01 PM	#23
KaleidoscopeEyes Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Springfield Missouri Posts: 12,202 Ratings: 66 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: s/o Do you want MIL to stay with you pp? With ds1 i moved in with xMIL when x went into the army just after his birht ds2 we were living with xinlaws when he was born MIL lives with us now so she will be here after baby is here i like both of my inlaws well enough that having them around isnt an issue for me. __________________ Super crunchy, atheist, vegetarian, liberal WOH and student mama to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wesley 14, Seth 7, Pandora Moonlilly 3 and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012) and married to the love of my life and SAH DH.

06-03-2012, 02:07 PM	#24
JennTheMomma Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 6,263 Ratings: 3 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: s/o Do you want MIL to stay with you pp? My mom stayed with us the first day after ds2 was born, and MIL had ds1. If my MIL wanted to stay with us or at a hotel near by, that's fine by me. I just stay in bed with babe anyways. __________________ Happily Married Momma to my two Bambinos & Bambina

06-03-2012, 02:16 PM	#25
MacMomma Registered Users Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 401 Ratings: 12 Feedback: 100%	My mom came the second day pp and stayed a week. She was so helpful! She cooked, ran errands, laundry, etc. She didn't bf me but is supportive of me bfing DS. Plus she loved the cloth! My MIL has great intentions, but she "hovers", and she kinda stresses me out when she stays overnight. Plus I know she thinks I'm kinda nuts with parenting choices although she would never say anything to me. Thankfully she never requested to stay with us, even though I know she wishes she could. __________________ Sarah (24), SAHM to sweet little J (7/17/11), married (06/09) to my highschool sweetheart We are expecting baby boy #2 in early July 2013!! "But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that He is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me"