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Old 06-03-2012, 05:31 PM   #1
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slight rant... Mothers!

I should start by saying I am adopted, as a teen, so i don't have as many years dealing my mother as most people have. Every once in a while we hit a snag where i just don't get her and I'm sure its a cultural thing (she's originally from holland).

That said, I fell down the stairs just now. 19 weeks along, and it was only 4-5 stairs, but my feet went straight out and i landed at the bottom on my back. It was startling and painful and I was scared for both myself and the baby... and mom, who happened to be standing at the landing at the bottom rushed in with her arms open and attempted to wrap them around me. I gave her a stiff arm to the shoulder and said "get off." not the nicest thing to say, i'll admit, yet I had just fallen and was upset-- not at my best. she backed off, and waited with her arms in front of her, and I closed my eyes and tried to asses the damage (if any) to my body. I said "you're not supposed to move anyone after an injury, mom." After a few minutes I seemed to be okay and so started to try calming myself down. Roomy and DH called to ask if I was ok and someone hauled my DS2 off from climbing on me while i recovered. Mom went to her room and slammed the door.

Once i was sure i could move without adding to the injury, I got up to apologize for being gruff, and was rebuffed and sent away with an "I don't want to talk right now."

So now I am sitting in a straight-backed chair trying to rest and let my muscles recover, and fuming about her being mad at me... I just fell down the stairs for goodness sake, and she's crying in her room unwilling to even talk to me about why she's angry. I totally don't get it. Even apologizing (wile my back aches from the fall) didn't help at all. Any advice?

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Old 06-03-2012, 07:04 PM   #2
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Re: slight rant... Mothers!

DDC-

Well I am glad you and the baby are okay.

My mom and I have a rough relationship. I tell her to back off she will. But she may feel hurt because you are her baby and she is concerned for you. I can see why she would be upset but explain to her how you were feeling and that you didn't intentionally try to hurt her feelings by pushing her away.

She loves you and she is your mom. I try to put myself in my mom's shoes and think what if this happened to my DD? I'd more than likely do the same

Hope you guys get things worked out
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Old 06-03-2012, 07:11 PM   #3
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Re: slight rant... Mothers!

Sorry ddc but I'd just give her time and space and both can cool off. She just probably has her feelings hurt and a fall like that would scare any mama to be (hugs to you!). Hope y'all patch things up
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Old 06-03-2012, 07:23 PM   #4
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Re: slight rant... Mothers!

Thanks ladies, She's still not talking to me, tho i have cooled off a bit. it makes me so sad when she is hurt and wont even talk to me/ let me explain.
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Old 06-03-2012, 11:13 PM   #5
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Is that her typical way of dealing with feelings? To kind of shut down and need time and space? If so, I'd say just try and wait it out. When she's ready to talk, you can explain your feelings to her.

I have a hard time with this, myself. I tend to want to get things quickly smoothed over, and get frustrated by people who need more time/space to cool down. I like to talk about things right away rather than let them simmer.

Good luck, I'm sure she'll come around.
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Old 06-04-2012, 10:00 PM   #6
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Re: slight rant... Mothers!

I'm so sorry you fell and had this with your mom. I am quick to speak and have a mother who is easily upset by that. She also holds grudges like nuts. Even after all these years, it still happens between us. Hugs.
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