Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-05-2012, 09:50 AM   #21
sisu
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 7,367
Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom View Post
I hesitate to say anything because I don't want another mom to feel like I'm judging her for anything but I just absolutely cannot ever do CIO. From my first child to my youngest I've never let them CIO for any length of time. And that doesn't make me better than someone who does do CIO, but I've never been able to even attempt it. Nor have I wanted to.
I'm with ya on this one. I go crazy when one of my babies is crying. Them crying probably hurts me more than it hurts them but CIO is definitely not for us.

Advertisement

sisu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 10:42 AM   #22
AnimalHouse's Avatar
AnimalHouse
Registered Users
Formerly: mama***ms
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 6,426
My Mood:
Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom View Post
I hesitate to say anything because I don't want another mom to feel like I'm judging her for anything but I just absolutely cannot ever do CIO. From my first child to my youngest I've never let them CIO for any length of time. And that doesn't make me better than someone who does do CIO, but I've never been able to even attempt it. Nor have I wanted to.
I can't stand hearing my babies cry, either. But there have been times where I had to lay DS3 in his bed and let him cry a bit... I was getting frustrated and stressed, which is no good for either of us . I hesitate to say I was doing CIO, because that isn't my intention when I let him cry... my intention is to give myself a "mommy time-out", but I suppose it is CIO? I don't know... I just think there's a big difference between the CIO you read about on here (letting babies cry for hours and hours on end with no comfort at all), and the CIO that *most* parents practice (letting them cry for 5 mins or so, and then going in to comfort them). Almost all of my IRL friends practice the latter.
__________________
Trying-to-stay-sane mama to four boys (5/07, 10/09, 7/11, and 11/12)
AnimalHouse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 11:02 AM   #23
firstbaby2011's Avatar
firstbaby2011
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 73
Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnimalHouse View Post
I can't stand hearing my babies cry, either. But there have been times where I had to lay DS3 in his bed and let him cry a bit... I was getting frustrated and stressed, which is no good for either of us . I hesitate to say I was doing CIO, because that isn't my intention when I let him cry... my intention is to give myself a "mommy time-out", but I suppose it is CIO? I don't know... I just think there's a big difference between the CIO you read about on here (letting babies cry for hours and hours on end with no comfort at all), and the CIO that *most* parents practice (letting them cry for 5 mins or so, and then going in to comfort them). Almost all of my IRL friends practice the latter.
I agree. There have been those times for me when I just cannot handle the crying anymore and I put DD in her playpen for a few minutes. When DH is gone and it's 2 in the morning, letting her cry a little bit by herself is better than potentially doing something out of frustration that I would later regret.
firstbaby2011 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 11:04 AM   #24
my2sweets's Avatar
my2sweets
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,910
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by aleatha5
Thank you OP for the article. I have a tough time watching parents neglect their children and being ok with it. I was at the park over the weekend with my two boys and there was a little girl there (3 y.o.) and she fell off a swing and hit her head and was crying. Her mom didn't come so I went over and tried to comfort her. I noticed her feet were bare and that one had a significant cut and lots of dried blood on it. I was so worried about this little girl -- her mom never did show up but the girl said she was over in the ball fields. I didn't know what to do. I know that everyone parents in their own way and makes decisions that feel right to them and I guess you just have to learn to be ok with it. But, it really hurts my heart to see and hear others in distress.

Also, I couldn't agree more with the analogy with other family members. I wouldn't look anyone in a pitch black room and ignore them. But, again, to each their own.
What? CIO done correctly(not locking someone in a dark room and ignoring them btw) is not even remotely close to ignoring an injuried child.
__________________
House Goddess & mama to 8 yr old princess L , 6 yr old mama magnet J and 9mos old love bug C

Swagbucks. Search. Earn. Redeem. Yep, it's that simple (I've earned $70 in gift cards and counting!).
my2sweets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 11:06 AM   #25
my2sweets's Avatar
my2sweets
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,910
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serenajean1
To each their own I say.

Need not be your thing, but no one should be made to feel like less of a parent.

I think there are just as many misnomers about CIO as there are about attachment parenting.
Needed repeating.
__________________
House Goddess & mama to 8 yr old princess L , 6 yr old mama magnet J and 9mos old love bug C

Swagbucks. Search. Earn. Redeem. Yep, it's that simple (I've earned $70 in gift cards and counting!).
my2sweets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 11:16 AM   #26
nicolemariep's Avatar
nicolemariep
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Washington State
Posts: 1,273
Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

Repeat after me: Just because someone chooses to parent differently than I do does not make them guilty of abuse or even wrong. Different parents parent differently. And that's okay.

And for the record, we used cry it out for our first, and my husband and I sat outside his door while he cried for minutes that seemed like hours, trying not to cry ourselves. We weren't ignoring him, we were teaching him to self-soothe and fall asleep on his own. He only cried 2 nights, and then he went down happily. This was when he was 8 months, and he's still a rockstar sleeper at 3.5. My youngest never needed cry it out because we sleep trained him from the day we got home from the hospital. In the night when he would wake he would be fed in a dark room, diapered in a dark room, reswaddled and placed back in his bassinet. He learned that dark time was for sleeping and we really never had any problems with him. He was a much more laid back baby though.
__________________
Nicole; spunky, sassy mama to my two little wild ones: Logan (9-08) and Liam (11-10) and Grayson (12-12)
I blog about the hilarity that comes along with raising my boys!
nicolemariep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 11:23 AM   #27
MamaNae's Avatar
MamaNae
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 6,365
My Mood:
Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarchMama2010 View Post
I'm with ya on this one. I go crazy when one of my babies is crying. Them crying probably hurts me more than it hurts them but CIO is definitely not for us.
Yup...I think I'd rather literally keel over from sleep deprivation than have to spend hours upon hours listening to my kids cry (I know my kids, they would NOT give up...ever. They would scream for 8 hours straight if they had to.)

However, I fully believe that "Mama needs a 5 minute sanity break before I snap" is completely different than any form of CIO...
__________________
Renae. Helpmeet to my hottie hubby, Josh. Devoted Mama to my Wolf scout-bookworm-sports-a-holic James (7), my Daisy Scout Princess Aldria (5) and my 2 year old Tornado Emmett and [COLOR="Magenta"] and my tiny squish Cora Paige! (May 2013)

Last edited by MamaNae; 06-05-2012 at 11:25 AM.
MamaNae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 11:31 AM   #28
my2sweets's Avatar
my2sweets
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,910
My Mood:
If the kid cries for hours and hours then thats not cio....why do I even open these threads....I know a lot of ppl who are against cio dont even (try to?) fully understand it yet I keep opening them up and get slapped with their misinformed thoughts/opinions. Im done.
__________________
House Goddess & mama to 8 yr old princess L , 6 yr old mama magnet J and 9mos old love bug C

Swagbucks. Search. Earn. Redeem. Yep, it's that simple (I've earned $70 in gift cards and counting!).
my2sweets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 11:40 AM   #29
Michelle_M's Avatar
Michelle_M
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Arlington, Tx
Posts: 15,899
My Mood:
Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

I think there is a proper way to do CIO and a wrong way to do it.

So many parents think that CIO means put your baby in a crib, let them cry and don't respond at all until they've either gotten so upset that they have thrown up, or finally pass out from exhaustion.

It also shouldn't (from what I've read) be used on infants less than 6 months old.. yet many parents do it with babies who are just 4 or weeks old.

I did a little CIO with my kids once they hit about a year and a half or so, but.. I didn't just leave them to cry for two hours. I did a veriation of the Ferber method.

I used to be VERY anti-CIO, because I thought that it meant you just leave your kid to scream for 2 hours and don't go in no matter what, and that seemed so evil to me.

But as I matured as a parent, and did more reading and talking to others.. I realized that PROPER use of CIO does NOT mean ignore your screaming infant for 2 hours.

I'm still mostly attachment parenting, ESPECIALLY with small infants, but I do use some CIO to help toddlers learn how to go to sleep on their own.

So while I get the general idea of the article.. I believe they are also assuming that CIO means ignore your screaming child, locked in a dark room for hours on end... which, taken in THAT way, the article is absolutely correct, in my opinion. But I have come to realize that using a little CIO ion the CORRECT and PROPER way, can be a good thing for some children.

God bless!
__________________
Christian wife to my hubby, mamma to three little men and a little lady!

Send a custom greeting card from Just Because Stationery!Because you don't need a reason to show you care. Caring is reason enough!!!
Michelle_M is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 11:58 AM   #30
bluedaisyma's Avatar
bluedaisyma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 8,721
Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

let's not ignore the science of the article. the "women/babies in the jungle" reference is to the women Jean Liedloff spent years studying. Read "The Contiuum Concept". Dr. William Sears was also quoted with his information on the stress hormones that are released when babies cry (and other issues). Whether or not you choose to do it, or if it works for you and your child, there is research about potential harm. If you are a parent who lets your child cry, but it isn't the "locked door, in the crib for hours" method, this article shouldn't bother you at all
__________________
Jul, This used to be a great place
bluedaisyma is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.