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Old 06-05-2012, 04:16 PM   #41
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Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

People get way to worked up about articles like this. Just take what you can from it (if anything) and then move on. These people/scientists/parenting coaches or whatever are not in my home with my kids and my life every day. I have let my kids cry at times. But I have no desire to outline each time/age/reason why/etc. in order to feel validated that what I did was not CIO. Maybe it was....I dont care. I am happy to learn from as many sources as possible but I dont feel guilty if my way does not match some fad or something. My kids and daycare kids are all happy and healthy, good eaters, good sleepers, well behaved....I must be doing something right. And I dont need an article or label or someone elses opinion to make me feel good about that.


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Old 06-08-2012, 09:35 AM   #42
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Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

i don't personally choose CIO but for parents who do well that's your business. all children and parents are different, as long as you are doing what's best for you child and not trying to abuse or neglect them then that's fine. unfortunately, there are people who let their kids CIO for hours because they are sick of their kid or whatever and they are the few that give CIO that horrible 'neglectful' vibe.

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Old 06-08-2012, 06:27 PM   #43
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Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

Awesome OP, i totally shared on FB. i guess everyone can parent their own way but when they do stuff so despicable they wont get any respect from me
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Old 07-19-2012, 07:40 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by Michelle_M
I think there is a proper way to do CIO and a wrong way to do it.

So many parents think that CIO means put your baby in a crib, let them cry and don't respond at all until they've either gotten so upset that they have thrown up, or finally pass out from exhaustion.

It also shouldn't (from what I've read) be used on infants less than 6 months old.. yet many parents do it with babies who are just 4 or weeks old.

I did a little CIO with my kids once they hit about a year and a half or so, but.. I didn't just leave them to cry for two hours. I did a veriation of the Ferber method.

I used to be VERY anti-CIO, because I thought that it meant you just leave your kid to scream for 2 hours and don't go in no matter what, and that seemed so evil to me.

But as I matured as a parent, and did more reading and talking to others.. I realized that PROPER use of CIO does NOT mean ignore your screaming infant for 2 hours.

I'm still mostly attachment parenting, ESPECIALLY with small infants, but I do use some CIO to help toddlers learn how to go to sleep on their own.

So while I get the general idea of the article.. I believe they are also assuming that CIO means ignore your screaming child, locked in a dark room for hours on end... which, taken in THAT way, the article is absolutely correct, in my opinion. But I have come to realize that using a little CIO ion the CORRECT and PROPER way, can be a good thing for some children.

God bless!
I'm right there with you on this one!
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Old 07-19-2012, 08:49 PM   #45
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I let me son cry for 52 min the other day!! GASP that is almost an hour!!! And... It was dark in that room!!!

But you know what... I have literally tried every single thing I have heard of to get him to sleep. As soon as he figures out what is going on... He gets better for a couple weeks... Then gets worse and worse until he is once again waking up every two hours, staying awake crying for hours while we rock and hold him, and being fussy all day long because he is tired...

He sleeps slept 12 hours a night since then and is happier for it.

Did I ignore him? No... I prayed for him the while time. My heart broke for him...

Life goes on. My dad let me and my sisters cry all the time... Guess what... We are pretty normal people. Seriously... I do not notice the brain damage EVERY day
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Old 07-19-2012, 08:58 PM   #46
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Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

Couldn't get past the first paragraph due to my aversion to terrible grammar in a professional area, but can imagine the author isn't very bright due to the title of the thread.

It's a shame when people judge without actually knowing what they are talking about, huh?
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Old 07-19-2012, 09:08 PM   #47
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Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

Eh, I'm so sick of hearing about the CIO debate. I mean, nothing against this being posted, it's just repetitive. There are so many different ways to CIO and articles like this makes it sound like there is ONE way, and it's evil and abusive.
Letting a newborn scream and cry for hours on end is one thing, letting a toddler fuss for 5 minutes in a crib is something completely different.
I let Lennon CIO for very short periods once he was no longer an infant. He's a great sleeper and a VERY happy child. I plan on doing the same with Indi, if need be.
Do I like hearing my kids cry? Of course not. But sometimes you need to do whats best in the long run. I am an insomniac, and I can tell you this - it feels AWFUL to have bad sleep patterns. Not saying non CIO kids always do, but I I have personally seen a correlation there in friends' kids. That is a risk I did not want to take.
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Old 07-21-2012, 06:05 AM   #48
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Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

I think CIO is the perfect name for letting you baby cry/scream for a long time until it exhausts itself to sleep. FIO fuss it out sound much better for those sleep trained babies that just whine 5-15 mins or so until they fall asleep or who fuss while mommy pees,does small household tasks,etc.
Sharon,mom 2 Kaitlyn 19,Tayler 17,Anna 9,wife 2 James 4 yr old lead Teacher at a childcare center.
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Old 07-21-2012, 06:47 AM   #49
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Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

It's funny how "moms in the jungle" are the greatest parents yet any practices such as tattooing, piercing, scarification, not to mention many dangerous situations children are exposed to in tribes are conveniently forgotten. We don't live in the jungle and I'm not raising my baby to live in the jungle so why would jungle practices be necessarily better? How can you even judge the long term effects in such a totally different culture than ours?

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Old 07-21-2012, 09:29 AM   #50
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Re: (CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

Originally Posted by MamaNae View Post
Yup...I think I'd rather literally keel over from sleep deprivation than have to spend hours upon hours listening to my kids cry (I know my kids, they would NOT give up...ever. They would scream for 8 hours straight if they had to.)

However, I fully believe that "Mama needs a 5 minute sanity break before I snap" is completely different than any form of CIO...
I think you'll find that most people who use CIO are NOT leaving their child for hours and hours to scream. If your children would do that then yes, CIO would not work for them.

It did work for my oldest. I tried rocking, walking, bottles, music etc, nothing worked on its own. Finally out of desparation one night I put her in her bed, turned on her music maker on a timer for 15 minutes and walked out of the room. She cried for a few minutes, fussed sleepily for a few more, and was out before the music shut off. Every night and every nap thereafter I put her down awake, turned on her music and walked out of the room. If she was overtired, she'd fuss for a few minutes and then go to sleep, but many times we didn't even get that. Before putting her down I'd make sure her other needs were met, dry bum, full belly, dressed appropriately for the room temp, had plenty of cuddle time. If the crying was escalating, I'd go get her and see if I could figure out why. If she was still crying at the end of 15 minutes, I'd go get her, something more was wrong than just "I don't want to sleep!" But in almost all cases, she'd fuss for about 5 minutes tops and be out.
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