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Old 05-01-2007, 11:31 AM   #1
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You want another baby. husband does not.

Do you give up or try to convince him to have another?

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Old 05-01-2007, 11:33 AM   #2
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Re: You want another baby. husband does not.

i gave up. well i didn tgive up, i more decided that is was best for me too
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Old 05-01-2007, 11:33 AM   #3
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Re: You want another baby. husband does not.

I would say, discuss the matter calmly, if you don't reach an agreement, table the issue and revisit it at a later time.
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Old 05-01-2007, 11:34 AM   #4
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Re: You want another baby. husband does not.

I suppose it all depends on how serious you both are on your positions and the reasons behind them. If everyone is healthy, finances are stable, etc. and the only matter is that you want another and he doesn't, I think you should sit down and discuss why you both feel the way you do.

ETA* I should also add that my DH and I have gone back and forth with this ourselves. Sometimes he wants another and I don't, and other times I want another and he doesn't. But deep down, I think we've both agreed that at least one more is in our future, it's just going to be a while. Could be trying later this year, or it could be another few years.

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Old 05-01-2007, 11:35 AM   #5
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Re: You want another baby. husband does not.

I don't see any harm in stating your case. But if he's still totally resistant afterward it's probably better to drop it (for the time being anyway ).
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Old 05-01-2007, 11:35 AM   #6
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Re: You want another baby. husband does not.

My DH and I were reversed in this situation. DH wanted more, I *thought* I was done. He said, lets wait a few years before making a permanent decision. Good thing - we had 2 more babies.
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Old 05-01-2007, 11:39 AM   #7
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Re: You want another baby. husband does not.

Well, I think it depends on your situation. I feel very strongly that I want another one (or three or four!) but dh REALLY doesn't. It tears me up. Both of our babies have been surprises...apparently we're VERY fertile. He says I'm "cut off" until one of us gets fixed but I refuse to even consider that. The thing is, every time he gets short-tempered with the kids or every time I get upset with him for not being there for me or being as involved as I'd like, I have to remind myself that I'm the one that wanted a big family and he didn't. Every time we fight about anything, I feel guilty for bringing my precious children into this situation and feel like it would be horribly selfish for me to bring another child into this relationship. At the same time, I can't bring myself to go on BC or anything like that because it goes so totally against everything that feels right to me. It's not a religious choice for me...it just doesn't feel right.
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Old 05-01-2007, 11:42 AM   #8
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Re: You want another baby. husband does not.

Kids are lifelong commitments; the "no" wins. (imho)
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Old 05-01-2007, 11:46 AM   #9
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Re: You want another baby. husband does not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kkbtoys View Post
Kids are lifelong commitments; the "no" wins. (imho)
HEEY !! that is what dr laura says all the time!!! you must be a drlaura fan
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Old 05-01-2007, 11:57 AM   #10
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Re: You want another baby. husband does not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kkbtoys View Post
Kids are lifelong commitments; the "no" wins. (imho)
After having 3 kids. I think we are well aware that kids are a life long commitment. He said no after our first was born and then 2 yrs later We decided to go ahead and have another. He said no after our second was born and we decided to wait a while before we talked about having more children. 6 years later we decided to have another one. Now we have 2 boys and 1 girl.

So... With that pattern. Anything could happen on his end. I am not wanting one right this moment. My daughter is 14 months old and I would like to wait a few years before having another one. I was just wondering what other people thought on this matter. Finances are great, marriage is wonderful and I do not think it is changing any time soon.
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