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Old 05-27-2013, 10:53 PM   #1
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Any others location independent or living in a shared purse community?

So I don't really know if we count as non-traditional since my husband and I are monogamous and hetero, but we have a somewhat unusual lifestyle that is only going to get more so over the next few years.

We have had a roommate for most of our marriage and the entire lives of both of our children. We are just really into hospitality and sharing life. We are actually about to move to the city where I go to school, and it will be pretty weird since we can't afford a house big enough to share at first. Hopefully we will find someone to split with by the time our one year contract runs out.

After I graduate (in 2015 *crossed fingers*) We are planning for a few years of location independence as we visit several intentional communities around the country, either finding one to join or gathering experience to start our own. Minus the sex part, our kids will grow up with a similar family dynamic to many poly or extended families.

Beyond that there is always a little weirdness being in pretty conservative circles to the wife being the dominant spiritual leader. My husband is a man of really strong character, and a really incredible servant, but he has no desire to pastor, teach, or lead a community. There is growing acceptance of female leadership, and even a few Baptist Women Pastors, but since it is still so new, it is always experimental working out the new dynamic.

Add to all of that that we have a pretty unusual parenting style. I grew up on the road working with my dad's ministry, and while I never put two and two together, I had a hard time finding my place in any of the traditional mommy roles. I felt so bad for my friends who were learning to pump, and essentially emotionally weaning their babies at eight weeks to return to work, but I sympathized so much with their yearning for something outside the home. My other friends who stay at home and make perfect little at home preschools, were just too much for me. I wanted to make that work for us, but I wasn't being true to myself, and just became really depressed. Ultimately I realized I didn't have to choose between attached parenting and feminism. Right now I am a WAHM, but in the long run it is going to look a lot more like raising kids on the go. We already get strange looks because we take our kids with us to things that are normally adult only. They don't behave perfectly, but they are learning by doing, and I think that it enriches them and the adults present for them to participate instead of being relegated to kid world.

Anyway, just introducing myself, and wondering if anyone else can sympathize with one or more of our oddities. I never realized this section was here, and I'm so glad I found it. I am really passionate about embracing new ways of being family.

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Old 06-13-2013, 05:20 AM   #2
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Re: Any others location independent or living in a shared purse community?

We are looking to join an intentional community soon Which ones have you looked at or visited? I am not into homesharing though. I strongly feel that families need personal space, but love sharing my life closely with my brethren. Most intentional Christian communities are quite conservative, but so are we
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Old 06-13-2013, 08:39 AM   #3
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Re: Any others location independent or living in a shared purse community?

I am in seminary right now, so we haven't been able to travel much. When I graduate we want to spend 10 months in the 24/7 Pray International training program in Kansas City, where my friend lived for a year, and then visit Church of the Apostles in Seattle (we have been there before) Sojourners in San Francisco Jubilee Partners in Comer, GA, and and an emergent church with a strong common life in a suburb of Denver that our friends started. We may also go to Simple Way in Philadelphia or Rutba House in Durham, NC. We may end up joining one of these or planting our own. We will be saving for this trip until I graduate, but I know that right now we don't have the experience to start anything on our own.
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Old 07-07-2013, 11:21 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tentrevival
I am in seminary right now, so we haven't been able to travel much. When I graduate we want to spend 10 months in the 24/7 Pray International training program in Kansas City, where my friend lived for a year, and then visit Church of the Apostles in Seattle (we have been there before) Sojourners in San Francisco Jubilee Partners in Comer, GA, and and an emergent church with a strong common life in a suburb of Denver that our friends started. We may also go to Simple Way in Philadelphia or Rutba House in Durham, NC. We may end up joining one of these or planting our own. We will be saving for this trip until I graduate, but I know that right now we don't have the experience to start anything on our own.
I have never heard of Jubilee Partners and I grew up, and still live near there. I had to look it up.
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Old 07-11-2013, 08:30 PM   #5
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Re: Any others location independent or living in a shared purse community?

I always wanted to live in an intentional community although of the eco variety not the Christian. It never came into fruition but I really wish it did. Good luck! That is a great way to live and raise kids.
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Old 07-13-2013, 01:16 PM   #6
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Would love to do this, also of the eco (or possibly pagan) variety. 4 more years until DSD graduates and all our decisions can be our own instead of considering her mother wishes as well. I still don't think we'd end up in such a community though. More realistically I'd like to have a telecommute job so we could follow my fiance wherever his jobs take him. I think that would also be good for our son. I'm not big on public school so I would homeschool in that scenario. Dreams...
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Old 10-09-2013, 10:09 AM   #7
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Re: Any others location independent or living in a shared purse community?

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Old 02-08-2015, 07:42 PM   #8
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Re: Any others location independent or living in a shared purse community?

We have a family of 5 and co-house with another family of 5 in a split duplex. We are believers and monogamous/hetero. We are raising our two families together at the moment and have an affiliation to the Rippey Street community here in Pittsburgh. We live near them and our street is also a loose intentional community, as is one other street nearby in our current neighborhood. There are a few other pockets of intentional Christian communities here in Pittsburgh as well, and I suspect, though I don't really know, that the same is happening in the Jewish community here.

So, I identify with a lot of what you are saying!

I am also a really strong leader and strong personality, though DH is a strong leader as well. But he's not really a visionary. That's really my role in our family. I dream us into where we could go and he keeps us grounded and focused on getting there. I don't think we have a male-dominated spiritual leader paradigm here. But I don't think I'm leading either, though I did feel that way for a long period earlier in our marriage when DH was really struggling with depression.

Prior to co-housing we hosted our church plant at our previous home and have had three different single housemates living with us there prior to our kids being born. Again, none of those relationships had any whiff of a sexual component and I've realized over time that is difficult for some people to comprehend. I actually find it difficult to comprehend why that's so difficult.
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