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Old 08-03-2012, 03:33 PM   #151
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

So do any of you lovely ladies have a vacant spot of land right next door I can move too LOL?? What an encouragement to read all of your posts. My husband and I are currently studying on the issue of leaving it up to God. This is something that has been weighing heavy on my heart the past few years. I am 36 and have four and have also had 3 losses over the years. I LONG for another child so badly. My children beg for us to have more as well. I believe they are an absolute blessing and I enjoy and love each one of them beyond words. I feel I was placed here to be a mama and there is no greater job I could do than to raise children to know the Lord. I'm just so confused by it all. There is this part of me that believes God will only give me what I can handle and he will provide for us. But the other part of me is still terrified! We are barely making ends meet right now, my husband is working a job that keeps him away from his family and despite much prayer and searching nothing at all is coming up for a new job. I know NO one in my real life who leaves this up to God. The main thought I seem to be finding with people in our church is that God has given us control over nature and that includes having or preventing children. They also point out that we are told to provide for our families etc... and by not preventing we might place ourselves into a position we can't do this. I'm honestly just so confused. I'm just not sure which it is. I don't want to take that giant step and then fall in a pit. Does that make any sense? Did any of you ever feel this way and still step out in faith? I'm just so afraid and confused. I wish so badly my husband and I could feel peace on this issue. Sorry for my ramble, I just was curious if I was alone or if this is a common way to feel when you start to head in this direction? Thanks

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Old 08-03-2012, 07:17 PM   #152
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

Earthmama I totally fee ya! I am also pretty scared to totally give it up to God. We are supposed to give him reign over every part of our lives, he is so sovereign! But it really is hard to give up control. But I am reading this study "beyond bathtime" by Erin Grey. I heard her speak on wcrf one day and she shared on this issue. Not everyone who gives it over to God have 10 kids. God is ultimately the giver of life. I am on my way there - I think we individually need to seek God about this he will speak to your heart. There are so many things in life we forget to ask God about... Pray pray pray that is what I think I will do, I know he'll give me the peace and the courage in this matter. thank you for sharing ladies
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Old 08-05-2012, 02:20 AM   #153
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

Wrote out some of my story but too sad right now so tried to delete the whole thread but they won't let me...or I'm just dumb...so I have to say something. Maybe I'll get brave and post the whole thing later.

Thanks for all the sharing--it is encouraging. We had our first three in three years and five in six years. Because of major serious health concerns and warning from drs. my husband felt like we should "wait", yet both of us were open and wanting all the children God would give us. Ha, ha, and we still had them close...last two were 11 months a part. And God has kept me alive through it all. My children are my miracle blessings and so worth it. I feel like it is in the heart of the matter--Jesus said, Let the little children come unto Me for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven!

Last edited by peacefulj; 08-05-2012 at 03:52 AM.
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Old 08-05-2012, 06:18 AM   #154
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

Peacefulj- I got your story in my email before you edited. I know it's hard mama but I think it's a story you need to tell. It's hard sitting watching all the "aww I'm so sorrys" when all you want is your baby. And nothing will bring them back. You're faith in God is the light. It is the praise. It's not perfect cause we're human, none of us are unwavering 24/7 BUT we want to be and that's God in us. His light shines through into a dark and dying world. That is grace at it's finest.

Mama- hang on tight. Never let go. There are so many of us even when it feels like we're alone. God does care and He is here listening. Not trying to hijack either but I wanted you to know some of us do understand and are praying. Since this thread started, I'm praying for you all. I don't reply but I'm reading and thanking God for showing me even on DS God has His number of people here.

and grace
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Old 08-05-2012, 09:16 AM   #155
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

Ok, I admit to stalking this thread for a while with out introducing myself but a voice inside my head told me to do it today. My husband and I just had baby #5 ^^
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Old 08-05-2012, 05:38 PM   #156
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

Thank you Erin. Ok, so here is what I erased. Had such a hard day today....no support no friends, very alone where I live....anyway, here's my thread killer....



Some of this is sad, please do not make me feel bad by letting me kill this thread!
We got started late, I was told I wouldn't be able to have kids, and that I shouldn't. VERY VERY VERY hard pregnancies, and two miscariages. First three children were born in less than three years, then with the fourth I found out I had cancer. Already had a lot of judgement, but I knew that baby was a blessing for us in spite of it all. Then crazy crazy got pregnant with number five several weeks after number four. 11 months a part. Because of my health situations we didn't tell many people. Most of baby number four I was dying and others mothered my children, so it made no sense to anyone for us to be pregnant again. BUT we KNEW that life was from God! And oh the love that was in our hearts for baby number five! I have two children who are high functioning autistic so with the cancer it has been a hard road. Went through hell on earth getting rid of cancer/tumor in spleen and liver but I am alive. And even with all the difficulty and confusion I cannot tell you how blessed I have been to have my precious children, each one is a miracle!
Two weeks ago my fifth child died at almost five months. I was home alone when I found him, most horrible moments of my life and my littles watching the terror. There are no words.
Life IS from God. I am sorry to be sad, but we all need that reminder. A few of those who judged us for our "numbers" saw our deep love for our number five at the funeral. My husband wept openly like no man I've ever seen. I pray that those that love children will love them more and those who judge will see that those (most anyway) of us who make choices to have more love each of our children and we WANT our blessings!
I will probably tell my story somewhere else, I do not want to kill this positive thread so please no need to you are sorry here....please keep encouraging each other in the lonely choices, it blesses me to read your posts. Each life is a gift--and I want the short life of my little Nicholas Abraham to underline that fact!
Also....I am the oldest of eleven, my husband middle of nine. All the siblings but one from each of our families came from all over to grieve with us. Ages from 15-45 between our two families. What a testimony.... these little blessings will be a BIG blessing to all of you in the future and then all the people stop their mouths!
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Old 08-05-2012, 06:02 PM   #157
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

Peacefulj- many hopefully I'm not out of line but wanted to say feel free to come here anytime you need support. "Giving" control to God isn't always easy breezy as some might imagine. But He's still God. And like your testimony- He's still the author of life.

Angela- welcome . It blows me away seeing all you lovely ladies here- it's awesome!
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Old 08-05-2012, 07:07 PM   #158
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I love this thread. I've only read first 4 pages. My kids are spread out---18, 15, 12, 4, 2, 5 months. I feel like the luckiest woman alive sometimes--just so blessed. I picked up 2 yr old from her Sunday school class this morning and she hugged and screamed "i missed you so bad!!!!!!" All the little moments make my day.
Peaceful--i love your testimony. It will help us stand up for our beliefs and appreciate more what we have. :hugs and thank you!
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Old 08-05-2012, 11:10 PM   #159
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

peacefulj-My heart breaks for you! I'm SO sorry for your loss.
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Old 08-06-2012, 10:42 AM   #160
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Originally Posted by peacefulj
Thank you Erin. Ok, so here is what I erased. Had such a hard day today....no support no friends, very alone where I live....anyway, here's my thread killer....

Some of this is sad, please do not make me feel bad by letting me kill this thread!
We got started late, I was told I wouldn't be able to have kids, and that I shouldn't. VERY VERY VERY hard pregnancies, and two miscariages. First three children were born in less than three years, then with the fourth I found out I had cancer. Already had a lot of judgement, but I knew that baby was a blessing for us in spite of it all. Then crazy crazy got pregnant with number five several weeks after number four. 11 months a part. Because of my health situations we didn't tell many people. Most of baby number four I was dying and others mothered my children, so it made no sense to anyone for us to be pregnant again. BUT we KNEW that life was from God! And oh the love that was in our hearts for baby number five! I have two children who are high functioning autistic so with the cancer it has been a hard road. Went through hell on earth getting rid of cancer/tumor in spleen and liver but I am alive. And even with all the difficulty and confusion I cannot tell you how blessed I have been to have my precious children, each one is a miracle!
Two weeks ago my fifth child died at almost five months. I was home alone when I found him, most horrible moments of my life and my littles watching the terror. There are no words.
Life IS from God. I am sorry to be sad, but we all need that reminder. A few of those who judged us for our "numbers" saw our deep love for our number five at the funeral. My husband wept openly like no man I've ever seen. I pray that those that love children will love them more and those who judge will see that those (most anyway) of us who make choices to have more love each of our children and we WANT our blessings!
I will probably tell my story somewhere else, I do not want to kill this positive thread so please no need to you are sorry here....please keep encouraging each other in the lonely choices, it blesses me to read your posts. Each life is a gift--and I want the short life of my little Nicholas Abraham to underline that fact!
Also....I am the oldest of eleven, my husband middle of nine. All the siblings but one from each of our families came from all over to grieve with us. Ages from 15-45 between our two families. What a testimony.... these little blessings will be a BIG blessing to all of you in the future and then all the people stop their mouths!


Jodie ~ wife & mama
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