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Old 06-19-2012, 10:19 PM   #31
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

Oh and His timing being a struggle, I'm meaning I really love my kids very close (I only nursed first 2 for 2mo.) and had my first 3 close because bfing didn't prevent pregnancy since I didn't nurse as long. So I struggle with wanting to get pregnant and feeling a little selfishly sad because I can't while nursing even though I know if God wanted ne to, he would make it happen. If that even makes sense.

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Old 06-20-2012, 12:15 AM   #32
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

Hi, I'm leaving mine up to Him as well. I have full faith He won't give me what I can't handle.
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Old 06-20-2012, 12:08 PM   #33
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

Does anyone here fear having too many kids/more that they can handle? This is something that is always on my mind. I've been pregnant pretty much every year since I've been with DH and I'm only 25 which means I still have 10ish years left of fertility and the thought that I could get pregnant each of those years really freaks me out :/
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Old 06-20-2012, 01:00 PM   #34
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

Trust the Lord. He is in charge. Give Home your whole life. After all, He gave His life for you.

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Does anyone here fear having too many kids/more that they can handle? This is something that is always on my mind. I've been pregnant pretty much every year since I've been with DH and I'm only 25 which means I still have 10ish years left of fertility and the thought that I could get pregnant each of those years really freaks me out :/
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Old 06-20-2012, 01:05 PM   #35
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

I am so jealous of all of you. I want so bad to be able to do this but have such a hard time letting go. I am so scared of having more than I can handle both emotionally and money wise. I also come from a family that any more then two kids is just to many and they are not afraid to state their opinion. Maybe some day I will get up the courage to join you ladies.
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Old 06-20-2012, 03:44 PM   #36
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

Emily- I'm also a young mom. Had all 4 by the time I was 23. But what I've seen is the longer I nurse, the longer I have to wait to get pregnant. So while I wish I could have a child every single year, it's not gonna happen if I chose to nurse. BFing wasn't a big deal to me at first, but now it is...hence the spacing of my first 3. But With that I sometimes think "gohlee, I have like 10-15years left of having children, and that is a lot of years left of fertility" but it's always short lived and I'm not too worried about it; even if my hubs had same views as me. I'm 24now and hubs is 26.
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Old 06-20-2012, 05:10 PM   #37
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

We had our first three in three years. When I found out I was pregnant with #3, I cried. After he was born I had pelvic floor dysfunction and had to get physical therapy to resolve it. I told everyone that my body was closed for business! DH went in to consult for a V, but never followed through. I went on the pill, but had issues from that so DH used protection from then on. (May God forgive me for any babies lost during that time.)

Our marriage and spiritual life were shaky at best. We were involved in a legalistic, spiritually abusive church which culminated in a life/marriage crisis 6 years ago. We went through 2 years of counseling and God slowly worked on our hearts and placed us in a great church. One day during service there was a mom with the cutest baby sitting in front of us and we both couldn't stop staring. We turned to each other and we just knew that we were ready to open our hearts and arms again.

That summer we spent a week w/my SIL & BIL who had 9 (now 10) kids. It was a wonderful, confirming time for our newfound conviction. Their family was such a blessing to be around. It turns out I was newly pregnant on that trip, but ended up miscarrying a month later. We were all heartbroken, but our desire for more babies was cemented further and our faith in His perfect will was strengthened. I became pregnant again 2 months later and our whole family has been blessed with the joy of our little guy. I am now due with #5 in August and we are all so excited.

It has been a journey and I can only hope that our lives will stand as a testimony to His grace and goodness. I think some people keep waiting for us to stumble to say "I told you so." Surely your teens will rebel, they say. Surely you will become too overwhelmed with all those kids. Surely you are getting too old and will end up with a special needs child; that'll teach you. I'm ashamed to admit that I used to think that way about my SIL. There will always be naysayers and the enemy hates families like ours, but we know Who prevails!

Having a large family doesn't guarantee anything good or bad. I must always remember that it is Christ alone and none besides. This is my struggle as I deal with the distractions of this world and the work I've been given called motherhood. Pray that I always seek Him first and I will do the same for you sweet mamas!

Sorry for the novel, but I really wanted to share our testimony ever since I saw this thread begin.
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Old 06-20-2012, 09:38 PM   #38
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

That's quite alright fishmom! It was a beautiful story!
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Old 06-21-2012, 08:18 AM   #39
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

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Originally Posted by mommmy View Post
Does anyone here fear having too many kids/more that they can handle? This is something that is always on my mind. I've been pregnant pretty much every year since I've been with DH and I'm only 25 which means I still have 10ish years left of fertility and the thought that I could get pregnant each of those years really freaks me out :/
I have had 4 kids in 4 years and am 27 years old. The last 3 births being c-sections after a traumatic birth with my first. My last c/s was more complicated and healing was harder. I am fertily (I know not a word) blessed. Right now, we are praying hard and seeking God's will about another baby and the timing when/if it should happen because of possible risks to me/baby and healing issues. We feel He will direct us in what path to take and so we pray and trust that He'll show us His will and give us the strength to carry it out, no matter which way He leads us. I feel such a God-peace about waiting and seeking Him right now and know He is blessing our decision. If we didn't use condoms, I know I would be pregnant right now (God has blessed me so much with fertility, it's just the birthin' part where I think a fallen world has come into play). So we are using condoms while we wait on Him. I think a lot is all about convictions too. While some people may say we are not leaving our childbearing upto God because we are using condoms or others are using NFP (and their conviction for them is to use nothing), I feel like we are leaving it upto God because we are actively praying and seeking His will for our lives and family and trusting God will show us in His time. If I felt God was was convicting me about our use, then I would stop immediatly Hope I'm wording that right.

I think to some extent, we all have a bit of a say about our family size. One can choose what day to have sex on or not to have sex on. If we choose to have sex on a day when we are ovulating without using a barrier method, you are saying, "yes, God, we are open to another baby and we leave it upto you to decide to help us make a baby". If you abstain from sex on those days (or the few days prior to ovulation), then you are not going to get pregnant unless it's some true miracle. So even if some women use NFP, then one can argue they not leaving childbearing upto God, yes? (I know many who claim to be quiverful and still use NFP for spacing. And I know a few who've decided to be done childbearing when Mama's life would become more at risk if they chose to continue having children. Then there is the issue of fertility issues and couples' choices to try IVF to get pregnant because it's not happening naturally). I find no fault with thse, but wonder if die-hard quiverful families do.... My aunt's mom and dad were Catholic and had 10 children and were maxed out. They never technically used "birth control", but started sleeping in separate bedrooms and limited sex because they felt so done at 10 kids... in my opinion, that was birth control...

Anyway, things to ponder... it's a tricky subject. I think, in the end, you have to seek God's will for YOUR family and go the direction you feel HE is leading you. And asking Him to make your heart so sensitive to His voice. Not the way a "movement" is leading you. I hope I'm wording that right. A theme in my life has kind of been thinking there is "a right way -such and such- should happen" and then forces beyond my control changing it and realizing that God can bless many circumstances.

Okay, enough rambling! Off to bake some bread while all is quiet (or does that mean I should check on my hooligans???)

Last edited by raisingcropsandbabies; 06-21-2012 at 08:49 AM. Reason: forgot to add somethin. :)
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Old 06-21-2012, 08:33 AM   #40
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Re: Anyone else leave their childbearing up to God?

What a beautiful testimony, fishmom! I think you're comment about large family size (and I would add small family size as well) not guaranteeing a good life is right on. No matter how many children or how few we are blessed with, we must work out our salvation by bearing our cross daily. The important thing is the openness to life, the abandonment of self will to God's will. Those who expect children just because they are not doing anything to avoid conception should beware pesuming on the Lord's generosity. There are many couples who have "done everything right" but are unable to conceive or must endure the heartbreak of multiple miscarriages. All iterations of family size are by God's will, as long as the couple is generously open to life.

I once read a marrige book that said choldren are the bonds that draw husband and wife together and strengthen the marriage. Some people love so well that all they need is one or two "bonds," but most marriages probably need at least five or six! When you allow God to plan your family, you are open to receiving the gifts that are best for your marriage.
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