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Old 06-20-2012, 09:00 AM   #11
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Re: I yell at my kids so much I get head aches!

I understand completely. I'm a yeller too and my almost 3 year old sounds like your 5 year old, though not as severe.

I only thing i have found to work with her is to give her control by giving her choices. What used to turn into a 20 min tantrum complete with throwing things and bodily harm, now is diffused in seconds. When she starts to go over the deepend i look at her and say kara you have 2 choices.....you can do x or you can do y. 9 times out of 10 she makes the right decision. Then i give her lots of praise for making a good choice.

I never thought something simple would work, honest. But the first time i tried it, it worked! I don't scream nearly as much now.

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Old 07-18-2012, 10:30 AM   #12
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Re: I yell at my kids so much I get head aches!

Updating.

We got my five year old into a specialist with a very good local hospital.
I liked the doctor, he really knew his stuff and I felt he took the time to examine a lot of J's inner brain workings.

We walked out with a positive diagnosis for Asperger's.
The doctor also believes in the future we will see a positive diagnosis on auditory processing disorder, visual processing disorder, and ADHD, but it will be a few more years until J can truly be tested for these. J has several KNOWN sensory issues as well, I'm sure there are more he does not vocalize yet, but I don't think we will see a specific diagnoses for that.
I have some more papers to do, and will receive the doctor's full report within two weeks, so that I can get him an IEP for school (entering Kindergarten end of August.)

...now what do I do with him?
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Old 07-18-2012, 09:53 PM   #13
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Re: I yell at my kids so much I get head aches!

No advice. But I hope everything is getting better for you guys
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Old 07-19-2012, 05:55 AM   #14
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Re: I yell at my kids so much I get head aches!

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenHome Sewing View Post
Updating.


...now what do I do with him?
Love him, mama, and take time for yourself whenever you can to have a break, alone, do something nice for yourself like a massage (there are great groupon specials out there), or go shopping or read a book or whatever relaxes you. Enlist the help of ANYONE you can to give you regular breaks.
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Old 07-19-2012, 07:26 AM   #15
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You need to reevaluate yourself. Find out what triggers your anger and what sets you off and try to see how you can prevent it. What about focusing more time with activities with them. Try talking to them and letting them know how you feel. Talk to them about how they feel and try to work together.
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Old 07-19-2012, 09:28 AM   #16
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Re: I yell at my kids so much I get head aches!

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenHome Sewing View Post
Updating.

We got my five year old into a specialist with a very good local hospital.
I liked the doctor, he really knew his stuff and I felt he took the time to examine a lot of J's inner brain workings.

We walked out with a positive diagnosis for Asperger's.
The doctor also believes in the future we will see a positive diagnosis on auditory processing disorder, visual processing disorder, and ADHD, but it will be a few more years until J can truly be tested for these. J has several KNOWN sensory issues as well, I'm sure there are more he does not vocalize yet, but I don't think we will see a specific diagnoses for that.
I have some more papers to do, and will receive the doctor's full report within two weeks, so that I can get him an IEP for school (entering Kindergarten end of August.)

...now what do I do with him?
Ugh.

I could of wrote your first post, and now I see why.

My oldest also has Asperger's Syndrome. But to add to that fun, she also has a SEVERE anxiety disorder and ODD and sesnory issues. Fun times.

My middle child is 3.5 and is your 2 year old, just bigger. He's still into everything and he's still all about harassing Miranda until she snaps and smacks him,(which normally doesn't take long) then I have to punish the both of them. We do alot of Time outs in your rooms, STAY THERE for awhile. lol Our time outs aren't ever a couple of minutes, they are more like half an hour long time outs. lol

The baby is fine, but he's almost 11 months old and isn't crawling, isn't crusing, isn't walking, isn't doing a dang thing besides being a speed bump for the older 2. So I'm constantly trying to protect him from them, and them them from eachother, and now I've thrown potty training into the mix for the stubborn "refusing to poop in the potty" 3.5 year old because he's outgrown cloth long ago and now he's outgrowing size 6 sposies.. ugh.

So, your question.. What do you do with the 5 year old? Nothing you didn't do yesterday. He's still the same kid he was 2 days ago, 2 hours ago. Nothing has changed. You just have a diagnosis now. This is the advice I give to every parent that has found out that thier child has Autism. I know when I found out I had a heart attack, completely freaked out, and someone told me that and it really helped me realise that I've had this child for the last 8 years. She's the same kid she was the day before the diagnosis, I STILL need to learn how to deal with her. Nothing has changed.. Besides now I know why she fights everything and everyone about everything. I know why she seems to Enjoy arguing with me. I know why she's scared of everything and won't try anything new, even if it's a new park or Carnival.

Kids are HARD! and it's hard not to yell, I know, I've been working on it for years.. but I just can't manage to get it under control. I do take medication for Anxiety myself, and that calms me down if I'm having a very hard day.. Honestly, I think I'm just BURNT OUT. I don't get a break, EVER. I might be able to sneak away with just taking the baby somewhere every once in awhile.. if I do get out, it's stressful because DH doesn't like being left alone with them, and his screaming and yelling and punishing is even worse than mine, so I'm stressed out thinking he's screaming/yelling/beating the kids anyway.. and if I leave them with my mom I'm worried that they are killing her. lol

I'm currently on the lookout for a new babysitter. lol So If I have something to do, (or just need a break) I can leave them with her, and not worry about my kids or the caregiver.

I think you need a break.. then come back fresh. Is there anyone you can leave the kids with for awhile and get out? Even if it's just for the day? a half day? I know, it's tough. Totally get that, because you're me. lol Then, I suggest reading about Asperger's Syndrome.

Miranda's I think the teachers really only notice. (social aspects, besides the fact she doesn't seem to care when someone is upset) but I get the anixety and Defiant disorder, and all that other fun stuff. Maybe you got some of that as well. Are they only diagnosing him with Asperger's?

There's a special needs board here that is very good.. and I bet you could find some special needs playgroups and such on Meetup.com.

I wish you the best of luck. I suggest you do some work on yourself. Take care of yourself. You're no good if you're so stressed out you can't even think.. and it sounds like you are.

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