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Old 06-20-2012, 08:57 AM   #21
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Re: Protocol with younger siblings and parties

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Interesting.... I have never been to a party where it was appropriate to just drop off my kid and leave (then again weve only been to one classmates party ) and every single parent was there with their child. I think all our friends at prior duty station would be taken back if parents just left their kids (but oldest birthday girl was 7 that we attended. Argh, something new to think about. I knew the transition happened at some point, but always thought it was around age 9 to go parentless. Not 5.
I would say that in my social circles the transition to drop off starts at kindergarten with some parents starting earlier. I do have vivid memories of a mom dropping her LO off at a play area party and heading to play at the mall. Her LO was 3. Most of us were there with our oldest and that child had 3 older siblings, so now I don't see it as quite so crazy, but at that point we were all buzzing that a mom could do that. But, by right around 5, most of us were doing the drop and run unless we wanted to hang out with friends while the kids play.

By 8 most of the parties are sleep overs and obviously those are drop off as well. The, the parties start to wind down around 10 with the kids having just a couple of close friends to go to a movie or something and spend the night.

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Old 06-20-2012, 09:02 AM   #22
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I wouldn't drop my 5 yo at a party.

If its something like Chuck E Cheese I will take the others and pay separately for us and sit off from the party. If it was at a child house or the movies though I wouldn't take anyone who isn't nursing and needing access to me for that time.

If I am hosting, I don't mind if siblings come but 1. I am not responsible for paying for them and 2. You better let me know ahead of time. It makes the host feel bad when it's time to hand out cupcakes or goodie bags and Johnny's little brother can't have one because they didn't have enough.

One quick ramble...we had a party do ds1 7th bday. It was basketball themed and at our house. One mom showed up with her three other children (1 older, 2 younger). She didn't introduce them to me, didn't mention anything about them being there but thrust in the kitchen and ate food the entire time and them disappeared into my kids rooms and made a huge mess. I was mad. It was very rude. I never spoke up because I really didn't know what to say. Then my Dh gave her extra kids my kids goodie bags just to be gracious.
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Old 06-20-2012, 09:14 AM   #23
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Re: Protocol with younger siblings and parties

I have so much to learn about party etiquette and procedures, but I guess it's good to know that my oldest is at the age where she can go solo, so it will make it so much easier with my little, and one on the way.
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Old 06-20-2012, 02:28 PM   #24
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Re: Protocol with younger siblings and parties

Please, please NEVER assume that siblings are invited unless the invite SPECIFICALLY says so. Bringing an uninvited sibling and expecting them to be able to join in is rude to both the host and the other children.

For us:
DD is 4.5 and has gone to the last 3-4 bday parties solo. They were at private places (ie MyGym or Jump places) or at the homes of people we know well. Her first "solo" party was at 4y3mths. That's about average for her group of friends.

Parties held at homes of people I don't know well or at shared party locales (ie Chuck e Cheese or Jump places during an "open play") DH or I attend and the other one stays home with DS.

I never take DS unless he is specifically invited. One time, I had to bring him b/c DH was out of town and the party was at a person's home who I didn't know well. That time, I let the mother know ahead of time that I needed to bring him with me (all parents were requested to stay at this party). On the day of the party, I brought toys/games/entertainment for him, not expecting him to be included in the party (all the other kids were 4-5, while he was 2). One of the other guests didn't show, so the host invited him to join in, which was very generous of her. If it had been at a party place, I would have paid for him if she invited him to join in.
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Old 06-20-2012, 02:40 PM   #25
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Re: Protocol with younger siblings and parties

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Originally Posted by lanwenyi View Post
Please, please NEVER assume that siblings are invited unless the invite SPECIFICALLY says so. Bringing an uninvited sibling and expecting them to be able to join in is rude to both the host and the other children.

For us:
DD is 4.5 and has gone to the last 3-4 bday parties solo. They were at private places (ie MyGym or Jump places) or at the homes of people we know well. Her first "solo" party was at 4y3mths. That's about average for her group of friends.

Parties held at homes of people I don't know well or at shared party locales (ie Chuck e Cheese or Jump places during an "open play") DH or I attend and the other one stays home with DS.

I never take DS unless he is specifically invited. One time, I had to bring him b/c DH was out of town and the party was at a person's home who I didn't know well. That time, I let the mother know ahead of time that I needed to bring him with me (all parents were requested to stay at this party). On the day of the party, I brought toys/games/entertainment for him, not expecting him to be included in the party (all the other kids were 4-5, while he was 2). One of the other guests didn't show, so the host invited him to join in, which was very generous of her. If it had been at a party place, I would have paid for him if she invited him to join in.
I agree with all of this
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