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Old 06-26-2012, 06:17 AM   #21
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Re: Junebugs chat June 24-30th

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It has definitely been quieter here! So sorry for all you mamas still waiting. Now that it's hitting 100 everyday I can't imagine still being pregnant right now. Can't believe my due date still wouldn't have been for 3 more days.

I've been struggling quite a bit, emotionally, with how Emmanuel's birth happened, him coming 3 weeks early, being first time parents, and, omg, the power struggles with MIL over the baby I did NOT expect.

At his 2 week appointment Emmanuel still hadn't gotten back to his birth weight so the pedi wants me to go to a lactation consultant. I know it's terrible and I'm a terrible mom but I don't want to go. I have seen more LCs than I have fingers on one hand since his birth, all at my request, because I wanted to make sure I was doing things right. My experience has been that all of it is just guess work and none of them know what they're talking about.

I've started giving him bottles (ebm) about 30% of the time just to know he's eating X amount. I don't feel good about it and I'm worried about it causing supply issues. We have another appointment to check his weight again this Thursday, hopefully the bottles and more time will have made a difference.
have they checked him for lip or tongue tie? Also, you can use a syringe (plastic med ones...you can get them free at target pharmacy) or a dixie cup to supplement (hold it tipped slightly to his mouth and he will lap it up). That way you don't have nipple confusion on top of any other breastfeeding issues. If you want him to gain fast, once you pump, let the cream rise to the top, skim that off and use THAT to supplement. It fattens them right up! Also, only nurse on one side, to let him get ALL the hindmilk from one breast. If he then wants more, let him have the other side, but one side for as long as he wants (no switching after you burp or after a certain amount of minutes, etc). If you are worried about your supply, pump the other breast while nursing, etc.

Lucy

AFM: struggling also a bit. DH is adamant about this being the last baby bc of my health and I am devastated. If it was bc I just couldn't get pregnant (bc I am older) that's one thing, but having the choice forced on me....plus this birth was SO empowering, I just can't imagine.....anyway....
I am also having ovary pain? I thought it was my abs, but it's equal on each side, when I lay down or try to get up (but not every time) and last night I almost threw up from the pain. It's not a pain I can really describe though.

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Old 06-26-2012, 06:29 AM   #22
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Damian is a week today! I am also struggling with the fact this is probably our last baby. It was such an amazing birth I would love to experience it again. Maybe in a fee years we will be better off financially and DH will be willing to talk about it again.

I've also been feeling off. I'm seeing my midwife today. I've been running a fever of 99.8 for the last 3 days. With chills and fatigue. My two older kids have been at grandmas since after he was born last week. It's been nice but I miss them so much! They'll be home today and I can't wait to see them.
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Old 06-26-2012, 06:54 AM   #23
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Re: Junebugs chat June 24-30th

It sounds we needs for everyone today. Lots of mama's strugging. Life is full of peaks and valleys and I'm keeping you all in my thoughts that the peaks come soon for you, once again.

AFM...I've hit that part of the end where I'm not able to hold back to smart alek comments at work when people say stupid things, like "when are you going to have that kid?", "you're stiiiil/still/STILL here?!", "no baby yet?"....Gah!! Yesterday I actually responded to someone; "nope, had it, dropped it at daycare, and came in anyway because I love it here so much, (pointing to belly) this is all juse residual fat". Normally I'm not ever so snarky, but seriously.....
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Old 06-26-2012, 08:05 AM   #24
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Re: Junebugs chat June 24-30th

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I still want to give up most days, don't feel guilty. You'd think something so natural would be easy, instinctual but breastfeeding has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. After so many nurses and consultants the one thing that consoled me was the breastfeeding forum here on DS. Those mamas are SO sweet and helpful.

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Thanks. We're working through it. We have an appt today finally with a consultant, and I'm really hoping that helps. He didn't take to the nipple shields this morning. I'm wondering if he may have a lip tie. He always curls his top lip in, even when we give him a bottle. I told the pediatrician about it, but she didn't seem super concerned.

Other than our breastfeeding struggles everything is going really well. Milo (our nickname for him) loves to be held. It makes sleeping difficult because I'm way too panicky to try co-sleeping, but at the same time I love that he is such a cuddly baby. I feel bad for SO; he's doing so great for his first time. He's been super helpful with everything, and he's getting better everyday. But I'm so short with him sometimes.. He's having a hard time not getting the sleep he was use to. Since he's the one working, and we're trying to work it out so I can stay home because we don't want to do daycare I try to let him sleep as much as possible. But he just can't seem to function as well as I can, and he's getting double if not triple the amount of sleep I am. I know he's trying so hard, but I can't help but get irritated. :/ Sorry had to vent about that..

Sending positive vibes to all those mamas still waiting on their los.. Hopefully soon!
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Old 06-26-2012, 10:17 AM   #25
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Ah, I'm in the same boat with dh... I get so angry at him. I ask him to hold the baby while I go to the bathroom or something, come back and the baby is dangling off his belly as dh snores away. He can't do one simple thing to help me out without falling asleep when his sleep has hardly been cut into at all. I'm the one awake with the baby for 45+ minutes nursing every hour and a half to two hours. I'm the one awake another 30 minutes to pump after that. I'm the one changing every diaper because he won't wake up to do it. I'm the one snuggling baby back to sleep because dh can't manage it.

The complicated pregnancy didn't faze me. The bad birth experience messed with my head but it didn't change my mind. But when I think of how helpful dh has been, I'm not sure I want anymore.

Sorry for venting so much here! That's not something I can say anywhere else.

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Old 06-26-2012, 11:04 AM   #26
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Re: Junebugs chat June 24-30th

Aww hang in there mama's It certainly isn't any excuse, but first time parenting is a (capital letters) huge transition for new dads. Not that it isn't for moms, but it just seems to come more natural to moms. We spend so long being pg, physically and emotionally, which prepares us in many ways for the birth of a baby into our family's. Dad's have to really put in extra effort to prepare themselves for the changes that a new baby brings and even then, it is hard for them to fathom what to expect. Dad's also at times hold back from being too involved and don't play a lead role int he beginning because mom (especially when baby is ebf) come right out of the gate as the primary caregiver, making dads unsure about what their role/place is when the baby. I'm sure both of your DH's will come around and be more helpful. This is a big change for everyone.
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Old 06-26-2012, 11:53 AM   #27
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Re: Junebugs chat June 24-30th

for the mamas who have had bad birth experiences. Its ok to be angry, sad etc, you need to feel all those feelings before you can start the healing process. There is lots of support out there too.

Hang in there with the breastfeeding mamas! Glad you are seeking help with it

AFM- Arwin is over his case of thrush and I never showed any signs But we are struggling with major oversupply. Breastfeeding is so messy right now lol. We've started block feeding in 2 hour blocks to try to start to get it under control since with DD it took me 6 months to get it under control and even then I was still over producing but we were able to manage it better. On the mood side of things the last couple days have been rough, I'm now full time home with 3 kids as DS is done preschool and he's being a handful due to his issues. I'm finding myself yelling alot more then I should and feeling very trapped and moody. We have a meeting tomorrow with his FSCD worker to discuss supports for him and I'm hoping we can get more supports in place to help out. Even just a bit more respite care would make a world of difference for us!
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Old 06-26-2012, 01:24 PM   #28
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Re: Junebugs chat June 24-30th

I'm having a ton of trouble bf also. Because of the whole retained placenta fiasco, my milk is just coming in now, day 7!! My nips are a mess too, as usual. We are going to the bf clinic tomorrow.
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Old 06-26-2012, 02:06 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EmmaGM
Ah, I'm in the same boat with dh... I get so angry at him. I ask him to hold the baby while I go to the bathroom or something, come back and the baby is dangling off his belly as dh snores away. He can't do one simple thing to help me out without falling asleep when his sleep has hardly been cut into at all. I'm the one awake with the baby for 45+ minutes nursing every hour and a half to two hours. I'm the one awake another 30 minutes to pump after that. I'm the one changing every diaper because he won't wake up to do it. I'm the one snuggling baby back to sleep because dh can't manage it.

The complicated pregnancy didn't faze me. The bad birth experience messed with my head but it didn't change my mind. But when I think of how helpful dh has been, I'm not sure I want anymore.

Sorry for venting so much here! That's not something I can say anywhere else.

Sent from my Galaxy Skyrocket using DS Forum
I could have written your post! This is the reason I wasn't ready for a 2nd baby so soon. (DH was like this with the first baby) but I can tell you if your open and honest it should help. One day I just had to lay it all out and things really improved.
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Old 06-26-2012, 07:38 PM   #30
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Re: Junebugs chat June 24-30th

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Originally Posted by EmmaGM View Post
Ah, I'm in the same boat with dh... I get so angry at him. I ask him to hold the baby while I go to the bathroom or something, come back and the baby is dangling off his belly as dh snores away. He can't do one simple thing to help me out without falling asleep when his sleep has hardly been cut into at all. I'm the one awake with the baby for 45+ minutes nursing every hour and a half to two hours. I'm the one awake another 30 minutes to pump after that. I'm the one changing every diaper because he won't wake up to do it. I'm the one snuggling baby back to sleep because dh can't manage it.

The complicated pregnancy didn't faze me. The bad birth experience messed with my head but it didn't change my mind. But when I think of how helpful dh has been, I'm not sure I want anymore.

Sorry for venting so much here! That's not something I can say anywhere else.

Sent from my Galaxy Skyrocket using DS Forum
I'm sorry that your dh isn't being as helpful as you need. I agree you should try talking with him. And don't worry about venting, you need to! Otherwise you'd go crazy. And I feel the same way about not being able to say it anywhere else..

Thanks for all the support on breastfeeding everyone. Our consultant went so well today. He latched right on, once I had the right size nipple shield. We had to entice him a bit by putting some formula on the nipple shield to get him to stay on. He was getting frustrated that nothing was coming out right away. I'm thinking because he's getting use to a bottle. I also found out that I qualify for a free medela pump today from the state. I am beyond excited. I was trying to pump as much as I could with the crappy little pump I had, but I just wasn't emptying my breast completely and it took forever! I'm suppose to pump an extra 2 to 4 times a day on top of his feedings to help get my supply back up and having this pump is doing the trick. I got a whole extra oz that what I was before in 15 minutes compared to 25 minutes on each side!
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