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Old 06-27-2012, 09:12 AM   #1
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Is this going to be as hard as I think it is?

I just got a job, which is really exciting, because I definitely need it, but I am having so many mixed emotions. I'm happy and thankful, but also really sad to be leaving my DD. I keep crying when I think about it. I know I'm very blessed in that my mom will be the one watching her, so she will be well taken care of. But I feel like I'm just going to miss her so much.

Is it always hard? Do you enjoy working? How many hours a day/days a week do you work?

I'll be working M-F, 8-5, with a 30-40 minute commute. It seems like so much! Please, give me some advice or encouragement if you have it.

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Old 06-27-2012, 09:54 AM   #2
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I work those same hours and have about the same commute. It definitely isn't the easiest thing to do but we handle it because I make a lot more money than my dh does. Get a routine as soon as you can and make time for your lo as soon as you get home. I always take 30 minutes or so just talking to them about their day and snuggling them. Well my ods doesn't snuggle so much anymore but he does hug me when I get home. Crockpot meals will be your best friend. I hate having to come in and cook right off the bat so I do tons of meals in the crockpot. And my daycare lady is great to send me pics or updates on their day or let them call me if they are upset or got hurt. Good luck mama, you can do this!
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Old 06-27-2012, 10:03 AM   #3
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Re: WOHM's

I've always worked full time with the exception of a 6 week maternity leave after each baby was born. It is not always easy, but I know for me, working is important. I am not cut out to be a SAHM, and I do enjoy the work that I do (at least most of the time!). Having a great childcare situation is important though. I will say that what really makes it okay is that when we're home after work and on the weekends, we're committed to giving the kids 100% of our time and attention. I try very hard not to mix work and home life.
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Old 06-27-2012, 11:04 AM   #4
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Re: WOHM's

Well, honestly, it's hard. I work normal hours M-F:
5:30 - Get up, get ready, get my DS ready make sure all stuff is ready for DC
6:35 - Leave for work
7:10-15 get to work
4:10 Leave work
5:00 pick up DS from daycare
5:15- 6:00 - make and eat dinner
6-7 - play with son
7-7:30 - bathtime for son, get him ready for bed
7:30 - 7:45 put son down
7:45 - 8:30 Clean house, do laundry, get ready for next day, etc
8:30-9:30 - FREE TIME (sometimes mommy and daddy time...lol... sometimes TV computer time)
9:30-10 - Go to bed.

It's nuts but I love my life... My weekends are stressful too though.. lots of cleaning, etc, grocery shopping
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Old 06-27-2012, 11:08 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blackbirdmama*3 View Post
I work those same hours and have about the same commute. It definitely isn't the easiest thing to do but we handle it because I make a lot more money than my dh does. Get a routine as soon as you can and make time for your lo as soon as you get home. I always take 30 minutes or so just talking to them about their day and snuggling them. Well my ods doesn't snuggle so much anymore but he does hug me when I get home. Crockpot meals will be your best friend. I hate having to come in and cook right off the bat so I do tons of meals in the crockpot. And my daycare lady is great to send me pics or updates on their day or let them call me if they are upset or got hurt. Good luck mama, you can do this!
This. Routine is key! Make a meal plan for the week which includes at least 2 nights of either make ahead/crockpot/sandwish type meals. I think getting that bedtime routine down is super important, this ensures you have a little time to yourself.

As far as daycare goes, my son has a blast at daycare and my DCP loves him! Call and stop in when you need.
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Old 06-27-2012, 11:37 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by isaacsmum
I've always worked full time with the exception of a 6 week maternity leave after each baby was born. It is not always easy, but I know for me, working is important. I am not cut out to be a SAHM, and I do enjoy the work that I do (at least most of the time!). Having a great childcare situation is important though. I will say that what really makes it okay is that when we're home after work and on the weekends, we're committed to giving the kids 100% of our time and attention. I try very hard not to mix work and home life.
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Old 06-27-2012, 11:38 AM   #7
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Re: WOHM's

I do it..its hard! I hate my job but it pays the bills. Growing up I always wanted to be a SAHM. However, that wasn't in the cards for me. So I am a WOHM instead. Organization and routine are key imho.
I work M-F 7:30-3:30 with a 30 minute commute each way. My son has been going to daycare since he was 6 months old.
I spend Sunday night after my kiddo goes to bed figuring out what I am going to wear each day to work and putting as much of it together as possible so that the mornings I am not running ragged trying to figure out what to wear. I do a load of laundry each night in order to not have several big loads on the weekends. I am lucky enough that my grocery store has an order online option so that I can place my entire order online and after work pick up the weeks worth of groceries without having to actually do any shopping. I make lunches/snacks after dinner for the next day for both of us.
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Old 06-27-2012, 11:53 AM   #8
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Re: WOHM's

We've both always WOH. I work 8:30-4 w/ a 30+ min commute, DP is a teacher, so works about 7:20 until sometimes 4pm. I drop off in the morning, she picks up in the afternoon. Honestly, I wake up early 5-5:30 to fold laundry, pick up, get the dishwasher set to go, get stuff ready to go for the day, drink my coffee, etc. while DP gets up & ready. I shower around 6:45. By that time, DP is getting ready & DD is waking up. I get her a cup of milk & breakfast & turn on an episode of Dora. DP leaves for work. I try to get ready for work while being interrupted every 12 seconds to run downstairs & push DD's chair in, pull the chair out, get her something else to eat, give her a hug, help her brush her teeth, etc. We're ALWAYS running late & I'm ALWAYS frustrated in the morning. She loves the sitter & the sitter loves her. DP & I do not love the sitter, but DD is safe & happy, so whatever. DP picks up. They come home & have a light snack & play for a little while. I get home & usually do some dishes. We might go for a walk or I'll give DD a wagon ride. We feed DD dinner at 5:30. We do some small chores like tossing in laundry or prepping for dinner while DD eats. We play w/ DD for a little while, then it's time for bath &/or pajamas. Frequently, I do this while DP cooks our dinner. DD also doesn't get a bath every day. We eat around 7pm, while DD gets her milk & snack & we let her watch a kids' show. She goes to bed, we pick up a little bit, then we watch a TV show...usually while we're on the computer or knitting, or something like that. Bedtime is around 9-10 & we both will typically read for a little while before going to sleep.

It is a balancing act, no doubt about it. And I've always worked FT, so has DP, & our house has never been immaculate (at one point, we had 5 cats & 2 dogs), but if your house was immaculate when you SAH, you might want to relax a little on that, otherwise you'll make yourself crazy. Typically on the weekend, we try to balance between family activities & things we need to get done. Last weekend, we hung out in the morning, DD took an early nap, so I got some laundry & dishes done, & when she got up, we went to the zoo for a few hours. Then we stopped & did some shopping on the way home & went to Denny's for dinner (a treat for DD). Sunday, she stayed home w/ me & we did chores while DP went out for groceries. Sometimes we'll stay in & play for the morning, then my mom will watch her for a couple hours while we get groceries & lunch. Sometimes we all go out together. Sometimes lunch is in the mall, where she can go to the toddler play area afterwards...it can be hard to balance fun time w/ DD w/ the stuff we need to do, & at the same time, it can be hard to get anything done around the house b/c she's not old enough to help, she can only amuse herself for a short time, & she's up my butt the whole time I'm, say, trying to scrub the bathroom.

I'm so happy to see DD when I get home, but I don't think about missing her during the day. My sitter makes me crazy, but I absolutely trust her to make sure DD is feeling safe & loved when we can't be with her. Yes, I wish I got more "fun time" w/ DD, but I like my job, I like my profession, and I don't think that DD is missing out b/c of it.

It's a challenge, but you'll figure it out. Millions & millions of people do it out of necessity & desire & they make it work.
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Last edited by carriek38; 06-27-2012 at 11:55 AM.
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Old 06-27-2012, 05:57 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carriek38
We've both always WOH. I work 8:30-4 w/ a 30+ min commute, DP is a teacher, so works about 7:20 until sometimes 4pm. I drop off in the morning, she picks up in the afternoon. Honestly, I wake up early 5-5:30 to fold laundry, pick up, get the dishwasher set to go, get stuff ready to go for the day, drink my coffee, etc. while DP gets up & ready. I shower around 6:45. By that time, DP is getting ready & DD is waking up. I get her a cup of milk & breakfast & turn on an episode of Dora. DP leaves for work. I try to get ready for work while being interrupted every 12 seconds to run downstairs & push DD's chair in, pull the chair out, get her something else to eat, give her a hug, help her brush her teeth, etc. We're ALWAYS running late & I'm ALWAYS frustrated in the morning. She loves the sitter & the sitter loves her. DP & I do not love the sitter, but DD is safe & happy, so whatever. DP picks up. They come home & have a light snack & play for a little while. I get home & usually do some dishes. We might go for a walk or I'll give DD a wagon ride. We feed DD dinner at 5:30. We do some small chores like tossing in laundry or prepping for dinner while DD eats. We play w/ DD for a little while, then it's time for bath &/or pajamas. Frequently, I do this while DP cooks our dinner. DD also doesn't get a bath every day. We eat around 7pm, while DD gets her milk & snack & we let her watch a kids' show. She goes to bed, we pick up a little bit, then we watch a TV show...usually while we're on the computer or knitting, or something like that. Bedtime is around 9-10 & we both will typically read for a little while before going to sleep.

It is a balancing act, no doubt about it. And I've always worked FT, so has DP, & our house has never been immaculate (at one point, we had 5 cats & 2 dogs), but if your house was immaculate when you SAH, you might want to relax a little on that, otherwise you'll make yourself crazy. Typically on the weekend, we try to balance between family activities & things we need to get done. Last weekend, we hung out in the morning, DD took an early nap, so I got some laundry & dishes done, & when she got up, we went to the zoo for a few hours. Then we stopped & did some shopping on the way home & went to Denny's for dinner (a treat for DD). Sunday, she stayed home w/ me & we did chores while DP went out for groceries. Sometimes we'll stay in & play for the morning, then my mom will watch her for a couple hours while we get groceries & lunch. Sometimes we all go out together. Sometimes lunch is in the mall, where she can go to the toddler play area afterwards...it can be hard to balance fun time w/ DD w/ the stuff we need to do, & at the same time, it can be hard to get anything done around the house b/c she's not old enough to help, she can only amuse herself for a short time, & she's up my butt the whole time I'm, say, trying to scrub the bathroom.

I'm so happy to see DD when I get home, but I don't think about missing her during the day. My sitter makes me crazy, but I absolutely trust her to make sure DD is feeling safe & loved when we can't be with her. Yes, I wish I got more "fun time" w/ DD, but I like my job, I like my profession, and I don't think that DD is missing out b/c of it.

It's a challenge, but you'll figure it out. Millions & millions of people do it out of necessity & desire & they make it work.
Thank you for this. I know I will miss her a lot the first week or so as we both adjust, but I hope that fades with time. The job is fast-paced and busy, so hopefully the day flies by.

I am living with my parents right now (newly single and trying to get back on my feet), so I'm lucky that most days dinner will be ready when I get home!

I am excited to be out of the house and doing something I enjoy, so that is a definite plus.
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Old 06-27-2012, 06:29 PM   #10
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i use to live far and it sucked to drive that far so i basically worked 40 hours in 3 days and stayed in town so i didnt have to drive home just to go to bed and turn around and go back. no i work 5 mins from home but i only work mon-wed i would absolutely hate working 5 days a week unless they were sleep over nights
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