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Old 06-30-2012, 10:26 AM   #21
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Re: Trying To Enjoy My Baby

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Originally Posted by expaik View Post
I can't imagine dealing with a 3.5 hour crying spell either.. and probably most moms would react the same way as you.

How long (how many weeks) has this been going on?

If it has only been a week or two, could it possibly be teething pain?
This has been going on pretty much since birth. It started around 2 weeks.

There are times when she does really well and only fusses right before she goes to sleep and I can get her down easily.

For the last week shes been sucking on her fingers and drooling a lot, she also "bites" down when she nurses. Makes me want to scream, it hurts! But that leads me to believe that on top of whatever else we are dealing with, she is now teething. We are going to get her some of the teething tablets, and see if that helps a little.

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Mama- try some gripe water. Made my child a happy one!
We have tried all of those....gas drops, gripe water, colic calm. Nothing seemed to help her.

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Originally Posted by crunch!910 View Post
My first was like this. DH swore we'd never have another. I got angry with him a lot and just had to put him down and let him scream himself to sleep. I cannot handle crying. DS2 is the perfect baby but even when he sometimes cries I can just feel my stress levels shoot through the roof.
I can handle fussing and crying, but when she starts the screaming, I cant take that. I get really bad migraines and it will instantly turn into one.

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We went through this. I came so close to saying "Maybe we shouldn't have..." But thank goodness I never said it out loud. Our DD had colic, a milk allergy, and the big one was reflux. I was adamantly against formula I just kept offering the breast like I was told but she never stopped crying. I really lucked out when our ped went out of town and his substitute had went through the same thing. She diagnosed reflux on the spot, upon examination our LO actually had sours in her throat from the acid. I was so angry, this was our fifth visit to the dr. in 2 months. We had switched to nutramagin at this point but the key was adding a little oatmeal to thicken it because it kept coming up her throat. Let me also say that she was a "silent spitter" so very hard to diagnose. The dr. also said, "I don't want to go so far as to diagnose you with ppd but you need to go home, pack up the baby and take her to someone you trust and go home and just sleep until you can't sleep anymore." I was so sleep deprived, I hadn't slept for more than 2 hours in almost 6 months (hospital bedrest). The point? After I slept for literally 12 hours straight, and she had a thickened bottle it was like literally a whole new life for us. Now she's 7 months and literally the happiest baby. I can't imagine my life without her, I adore her. I was soooo against formula, medicine, and definitely cereal in her bottle, but when I saw that it worked and realized her crying was from PAIN I felt like such a jerk for wanting her to just breastfeed and be magically better. You do wherever works best for each child and sometimes that is completely not what you had planned.

Attachment 110953

Dd at 2 months. DH texted and said "how is she?" I texted back this pic.



Attachment 110954

Literally 1 month after starting her "regimen."
See...I am like this. I dont want to give her formula until Ive exhausted all other possibilities. I know formula isn't the devil. I FF DS1, and hes perfect! I just think somewhere in the back of my head that giving her formula means I've failed. I love breastfeeding. I love looking down at her and knowing that my body is doing the right thing. Ive thought about introducing formula so many times, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

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Originally Posted by mommy2sammy View Post
This sounds like my ds. He had/has (now 4 yrs) milk allergy and reflux. A couple of days on hypoallergenic formula and reflux meds was a huge improvement. A week later, he was a completely different baby, so laid back. Fast forward to now, we had behavior problems and daily vomiting, did allergy testing and he is sensitive to dairy and allergic to wheat and had some reflux. Change in diet and reflux meds, in one week we had a new preschooler. I would highly suggest that you talk to your ped!
Maybe I need a new ped then? We were just in for her 2 month visit and I asked her about the incessant crying and she was really nonchalant about it, said it was normal and she would out grow it.

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Old 06-30-2012, 05:10 PM   #22
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Re: Trying To Enjoy My Baby

OP, I know you are an experienced mama, but just in case the strategies slipped your mind, have you tried the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques-- the Shushing (white noise machine), sucking (on breast or pacifier), Swaying (or swinging in a swing. My DD really liked the Fisher Price Papasan Cradle swing), and Swaddling? Maybe infant massage? Going for a drive or ride in the stroller? Or a walk in the moby/ergo? Or a bouncy seat?

Just tossing the ideas out there for you to try in case there was one you hadn't already tried. It sounds like a really rough situation, and I hope you find some relief soon.
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Old 06-30-2012, 08:10 PM   #23
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Re: Trying To Enjoy My Baby

Does she arch her back while she is screaming? I have had two lo's with silent reflux and arching is a big red flag. And what are her bowel movements like? Are the green at all? Does she have gas (is it stinky?)? My newest, who is actually 15mo now, has really severe reflux and is very intolerant to dairy, soy and wheat. It took me months to figure it all out (with little to no help from ped and GI specialist)... But we when from screaming all.the.time. to a very laid back happy fella. Dairy does take up to a month for the proteins to be completely out of your system, then up to three more to be out of hers. If you do suspect food allergy or intolerance and want to continue breast feeding, look into doing a TED (total elimination diet)... It is very hard, but it is the only way I found out exactly what my ds was reacting to. And of course it sucks that I can't have dairy, soy or wheat either but, I think it is worth it to be able to nurse him. Big hugs mama!!!
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Old 06-30-2012, 08:12 PM   #24
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Re: Trying To Enjoy My Baby

my first son was a crier. SWADDLE. sure she will cry, BUT it will soothe- eventually. A nice tight proper swaddle.
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Old 06-30-2012, 09:18 PM   #25
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Re: Trying To Enjoy My Baby

Even if it seems situational, I think you should still check into possible PPD. I was working a full time job and seemed fine in every way but I see now that after my second daughter was born, I was really suffering badly from PPD (as well as some other issues) which were resolved by seeking some professional counseling. I felt "fine" but obviously something wasnt right and thank goodness I decided to talk to someone. Its hard to see the big picture when you are right there in the situation every day.

I also had a crier from day one with my second child. One time we clocked her at 6 hours straight screaming with no breaks! She had silent reflux, horrible colic, dairy sensitivity and a difficult personality on top of all that. There was a few changes that made things better in small ways but the best thing I could do was prepare myself mentally for the challenge of raising a high needs child. She's 3 now. Shes STILL more work than my other two kids and my daycare kids combined! She's just a high needs kid, still a crier at times, still ear piercing at times but with some help, I have found a way to reach her without losing my sanity. It required ME changing and adapting, not waiting for her to "grow out of it". At 3 years old, I can clearly see....she aint growing out of it. This is just her, period. No we dont have the infant crying all day like we used to but it was replaced over time with just as exhausting habits and behaviors. It would be best to prepare yourself for the long haul with this child. They may perk up at a certain age or they may just be a really challenging kid with no end in site.

Another thing to consider is that baby may be feeding off your anxiety and insecurity during the crying spells. I was told that stress hormones can even go thru breastmilk. Again, finding ways for you to cope better will be in her best interest!

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Old 06-30-2012, 09:43 PM   #26
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Re: Trying To Enjoy My Baby

I agree with everything above!!!! I also would see a new Dr! Even if nothing is wrong your pediatrician should give more attention to your problems and check into it. It is easy for them to say that is normal when they are not the ones dealing with it. My DS was fussy at night a lot around that age. 2 things that helped us through that time were his swing (cradle type) and the vacuum cleaner!!! The book "Happiest Baby on the Block" which has already been recommended, suggested using a loud noise to mimic the womb. One night when I was at my wits end I turned on the vacuum and he stopped crying! Of course I could not leave it running nonstop but it did help to get a break. He eventually grew out of this phase and is now a very happy baby unless it is bedtime I pray that your LO will grow out of this quickly and you will get some relief!
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:01 PM   #27
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Re: Trying To Enjoy My Baby

It does sound like an allergy. I'd talk to your pediatrician about trying formula designed for babies with sensitive tummies, reflux, etc. You can pump while you try the formulas (as another mom suggested) and if it doesn't work out go back to the boob juice.

You are definitely not a failure if you give your baby formula! I hate how the pro-breastfeeding movement has gone overboard in their claims. Yes, breast is best. Yes, formula doesn't have everything mom's milk does. But as you've noted with your son: he had formula and he is perfect. Have you ever looked at a kindergartner and thought "oh clearly he wasn't breastfed, look at that runny nose!" or "obviously she never had formula, her hair is so lustrous." Of course not. Because formula-fed babies generally turn out just fine.

I would encourage every mom to try breastfeeding (and I mean seriously try, not just for the first day or two) and find ways of breastfeeding that foster enjoyment and health for both mom and baby. BUT, if breastfeeding is making you miserable, causing you pain, and negatively impacting your relationship with your baby, then don't do it!

That's the only way to really fail your baby--do something that damages your relationship with your baby just because other people pressure you.

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Old 06-30-2012, 10:03 PM   #28
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My lo was a screamer, like I said before. He was just that. Nothing wrong. The day he started belly laughing. Really laughing his heart out, was huge for him. I remember it vividly. The crying lessened. Lol. But not just giggles. The deep, can't stop laughing kind. That was late 3 months. He was still high needs and sensitive but once he could really enjoy things, life was easier!!!
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Old 07-01-2012, 06:18 PM   #29
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Re: Trying To Enjoy My Baby

You may just have a "crier." From the time DD2 was about 3 months old, we joked about her "feisty" nature and said we dreaded when she hit the terrible twos. Well, she's now 28 months and...guess what....she still cries ALL. THE. TIME.

I'm not saying that to scare you...LOL. We had to learn to just cope with the crying early on. If you have ruled out medical issues, then you might just have a cranky baby and the sooner you "accept" it the sooner you can deal with your emotions. When DD2 would cry as a baby, I would get irritated but then I would try to tell myself there was nothing I could do, and that she was just going to cry and that was it. I still held her, spoke kindly to her, etc...but that was easier to do when I sort of anticipated the crying.

With DD1, if she cried, I knew something was really wrong. But DD2 cries over literally everything. Now that she's almost 2.5, her crying is actually fake and we both know it. She cries over the littlest thing and says "Kiss it better" and I kiss it and she stops. Or I'll ask "Are you really crying or is it a fake cry?" And she always says "It's a fake cry mama."

Anyway, back to when she was a baby...I tried to get out of the house as much as possible without her. If I knew she could go 2 hours between feedings, I would nurse her, throw her at DH (okay, not really throw), and run out the door as fast as I could. Even if I just drove around with music blasting, it really helped. For the night times, DH and I would alternate nights. Even though she was exclusively BF, on his nights he would just bring her to me to feed, then take her away so I couldn't hear the crying as much.

I don't really have much other advice, because mine is still a crier. Haha. It's annoying as heck, but at least now I can joke about it because I know it's not anything to do with my failures as a mother, and that she'll be this way no matter what I do.
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Old 07-01-2012, 08:24 PM   #30
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Re: Trying To Enjoy My Baby

The bear had similar issues. Actually, it sounds almost exactly like what we went through. When she was four months, she got reflux meds and it changed my life. I actually liked my kid for really, the first time. I loved her from day one, but I wanted to scream and shout and throw things when she started screaming. I was afraid it was PPD, but, it was just low sleep.

I spent the first 3 months sleeping on the couch, because she would not sleep laying down. At all, once, she slept for 45 minutes and that was the longest she slept in her bed. I tried co-sleeping, we'd get maybe two hours, if I slept on the couch, she might stay asleep for five hours. She screamed from 8pm - 2am or so every night. I went to bed at 8 and DH would stay up until midnight or so, then we'd switch.

But, now I really like her.
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