Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-06-2012, 09:10 PM   #1
hisleading's Avatar
hisleading
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 526
My Mood:
More children? Or no?

I know that this is such a personal decision but I am torn. We have three healthy girls ages 9, 7 and 18 months. I am 35 years old. I feel like I am too old for another baby, plus we aren't wealthy by any stretch of he imagination. Having three, though, will be always be left out? If I decided no more chldren, then that decision is permanent bc of my age. What if we can't afford four cars, four weddings ( if it's another girl)...? Would it be irresponsible of me to have another or will I regret not having another?? Any advice ?

Advertisement

__________________
Wife to loving DH for 13 years and Mommy to my precious girls 9, 6 and 2
hisleading is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2012, 09:16 PM   #2
Fishie Kisses's Avatar
Fishie Kisses
Registered Users
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: SJV, CA
Posts: 17,654
My Mood:
Re: More children? Or no?

*MY* belief is that if you don't feel done, you probably will always feel a void. Some people may feel differently though. We have 3 boys and have decided we will have 1 more child. Girl or boy, we are done. If you want another, *I* think you should do it.
__________________
Tashauna~~proud wife to my trained boo-boo fixer and mama to 4 boys on earth (Jordan-01/15/08, Logan-12/16/09, Connor-05/17/11)...and finally our rainbow Jackson (11/24/13)! and two in heaven ^i^ (10wks-11/12 and 4 weeks 2/13)
Try SWAGBUCKS and get paid!! I've earned over $1000 just since Jan 1, 2013!!!
Fishie Kisses is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2012, 10:14 PM   #3
EmilytheStrange's Avatar
EmilytheStrange
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Mountain Home, ID
Posts: 7,418
My Mood:
Re: More children? Or no?

I am the last of 3. At times I was left out. At times the older girl left the two of us to our own devices. Personally, I was fine, I was a loner type child, so I made do. I read a lot of books. I had my own friends elsewhere - church, school, etc.

I never felt like if my parents had had 4, that my life would be so much different.

It's not answering your question, but perhaps allaying a fear.
__________________
SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10) and Luke Russett (04/13) and wife and best friend to my airman.
EmilytheStrange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2012, 10:18 PM   #4
songbird516's Avatar
songbird516
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 6,164
My Mood:
Re: More children? Or no?

I am one of three and I don't think that one of us was left out too often.I don't think I'd let whether our not we could afford cars or weddings or college, etc, dictate family size, though. Those things don't have to be expensive.
__________________
Sara- mommy to Claire (01/10) and Micah (3/12) and someone new (10/14)
Birth doula and life-long student of Everything! Need a doula in the central VA area? Let's talk! www.beyondbirthsupport.com
songbird516 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2012, 11:20 PM   #5
sisu
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 7,367
I think that because of the big age gap, your youngest will feel a bit... separated? from the older two.
sisu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2012, 11:38 PM   #6
Rdesonia's Avatar
Rdesonia
Registered Users
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,689
My Mood:
Re: More children? Or no?

I'm 34. I'm not done! Dh's mom was 37 when she had him. Personally, I know that getting pregnant after 35 has greater risks... but I feel like I have children that are just waiting to be born!

(I was never given a car. I worked and purchased my first car. Nobody gave me a cent when I got engaged for a wedding. I don't consider those to be essential. Love, time, etc are much more important! )
__________________
Sahm married to a wonderful man who does the dishes with DS 11/18/02 and DD 7/11/11

My Come Swag with me! http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/rdesonia
Rdesonia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2012, 08:33 AM   #7
doodah's Avatar
doodah
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 9,961
Re: More children? Or no?

I do not base my decision for more children based on things that have to be paid for when they are adults. They can pay for their own college and own weddings just like I did and like a bazillion other people do. I have no push to get them all cars in their teen years. They can ride with mom just like I did. With that in mind, kids still are expensive and we will be homeschooling and private schooling them as children. Education costs in their childhood IS a factor for us and that is one of the main reasons we will be stopping with this fourth baby (who actually was an unplanned surprise).

I dont agree with the thought that just because you have a feeling of "should I have another baby?" means that you will always feel that way or feel as strongly about it or have as much mixed feelings about. I think you make a decision based on what is right for your family and then you come to terms with that decision. I understand the pull to have more kids....but I dont think the emotion behind it necessarily "means" something. We are just emotional creatures, it doesnt always make sense.
doodah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2012, 10:35 AM   #8
mamashhon's Avatar
mamashhon
Registered Users
Formerly: m2bs11n5
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,489
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishie Kisses
*MY* belief is that if you don't feel done, you probably will always feel a void. Some people may feel differently though. We have 3 boys and have decided we will have 1 more child. Girl or boy, we are done. If you want another, *I* think you should do it.
This exactly.

I have three boys. I don't feel 100% done (unless my kids are being pains that day, lol) but DH wants one more relatively soon. Age isn't a factor here, I'm 25.

But IMO, we aren't wealthy either. I didn't grow up rich. Pretty poor actually. My parents didn't buy a car for me. I walked to work and saved for it on my own. My DH grew up wealthy and got a brand new car on his 16th birthday that he didn't appreciate, didn't take care of and exploded within two years. Yeah, I'm not kidding. I will encourage my children to earn their things.

maybe I'm irresponsible for not thinking about those type of things for my kids. I don't have a college fund for them. I will encourage them to do well in school, earn scholarships, work and save money for themselves. No one paid for college for me. My DHs parents wrote that check for each of their children. My DH didn't make it past a few semesters before getting a blue collar job (that he does well at). Everything he was handed he squandered. It makes me less likely to be willing to write that check as well.

I don't have girls so I can't relate to weddings, but DH and I paid for our own. My dad never offered to help (mom isn't around). I don't hate him for it.
__________________
Jesse - student midwife & mama to four amazing kiddos DS1 (8), DS2 (6), DS3 (2), DD (7 mo)
www.birthsourcedaytona.com
mamashhon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2012, 10:51 AM   #9
cristy_1996's Avatar
cristy_1996
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,401
My Mood:
I wouldn't allow weddings and such to determine your decision although I can tell you that those are important things that I want to try to help my kids with also. Not all of it but some help would be nice to give them. We are expecting our third and last.,.there will be 5 years between this one and our youngest DS but I think they will be fine.
__________________
Wife to Rashaan , Mommy to Miles, Jai, Laila and our angel baby2/12.

http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/CristyGriffith
cristy_1996 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2012, 05:50 PM   #10
alyssa&rylan's-mommy
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 657
My Mood:
Re: More children? Or no?

I think if you don't have that "done" feeling, you may regret not having another down the road. I'm pregnant with our 4th, and we were planning to stop at 4, but now we're just not sure- I don't really "feel" done.
alyssa&rylan's-mommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.