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Old 07-04-2012, 09:57 PM   #11
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Re: lying to your kids....

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Originally Posted by bluedaisyma View Post
nope. I don't lie to my kids. I don't lie to anyone, lying is a big issue to me.
me too.

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Old 07-04-2012, 10:44 PM   #12
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My son 5.5 JUST learned that 'dirty milk' is chocolate. Lol. I didn't lie. It's dirty and not healthy. Now he just laughs and tell me I am silly

I don't usually lie, just bed the truth. I wouldn't say it was canceled, I would have said that it was too hot and you could get heat stroke and need to go to the hospital where you would need a pinch. It could happen!!!'

Totally depends on age of kid though.
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Old 07-04-2012, 11:06 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange
I think the sooner they learn to deal with disappointment, the easier their life will be. So, no, I don't think I'd lie in that situation.

I would simply say that it's too expensive and there aren't many rides for little kids.

But I don't plan to do Santa or the Easter bunny either.

I don't think it's horrible parenting that you told them that. I just don't want to use it. I think you do what you need to do. But I agree with the pp who said they might have a friend who went and then it just escalates or you have to come clean.
I agree with this. And like a PP said, I don't want them to think it is okay to lie to me. This may also stem from the fact that I have been lied to a lot, and it is an awful thing to experience. I never want my daughter to feel like I deliberately deceived her.

Now silly things, like telling them the salt and pepper is going to explode if mixed, I'm okay with. That's more of a joke. The kinds of lies you can get caught in though, or that can cause your children to distrust you if found out, I will do my best to avoid.
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Old 07-04-2012, 11:07 PM   #14
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Re: lying to your kids....

I lie to my kids all the time. They know when I am doing it and still go along with it any way.
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Old 07-05-2012, 07:20 AM   #15
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Re: lying to your kids....

Trust is one of my things. For the most part, my children can trust that if I tell them something, they can bank on it. With the OP's scenario, if expense was the issue, I would say I couldn't afford it. But the bigger issue (for me anyway) would be that it wasn't the sort of place I would want to take my family to, and I would just come out and say that too. As in, "when Tommy needed to come off of one of the rides, the man would not stop the ride and didn't show concern for him. That isn't the kind of place we will be going back to." Am I too honest? Maybe.

I do shift the truth when I play Go Fish with my daughter, but in matters of money and appropriate activities, I wouldn't lie. As a pp said, coping with disappointment is a hugely valuable skill.
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Old 07-05-2012, 07:41 AM   #16
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Arrow Re: lying to your kids....

Lying is a huge issue to me and I don't intend to lie to my little ones about stuff like that or believe in "white lies". I don't think I am a better parent but I really don't think it's a very smart thing to do. Children are smart and eventually will figure out they are being lied to and may lose trust in someone who lies to them.

I would not just say "It's too hot" or make it about me not wanting to go. Obviously there were a lot of other valid reasons for not going and a 4 and 6 year old are perfectly capable of understanding those reasons once explained. I would explain to my children why we weren't going exactly how you explained it here and offer them alternatives that we would all enjoy.

eta: I also feel they need to learn that sometimes Mommy and Daddy have to say "no".

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Old 07-05-2012, 08:58 AM   #17
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To this day, I can't fully trust my mother about certain things, like her feelings, or excuses she gives, because she has a pattern of lying about those things. Even me seeing her lie to others about why she can't go to that thing has made me question if she's lying to me when she can't come over for dinner. It's not worth it. Kids deserve the truth from their parents. Yes, we don't believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. My mom thinks I'm depriving my kids but I beg to differ. They still get the fun and surprises, they just know it comes from mom and dad. I want my kids to trust what comes out of my mouth, especially when they are teeneagers.
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Old 07-05-2012, 09:19 AM   #18
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FTR, we're squishy about Santa and the bunny. The good stuff comes from mom and dad and one small thing comes from Santa. Last year my three year old got snow goggles and a letter. She enjoys it, but I have a bit of discomfort. Despite my discomfort, I think it is legitimate to let the air out of the balloon little by little because it's pretend and play and that is what childhood is about.

I think in the grand scheme, Santa is small stuff in the trust mom and dad department.
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Old 07-05-2012, 09:23 AM   #19
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Lying is a parents saving grace. I'll admit I do it
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Old 07-05-2012, 09:03 PM   #20
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Re: lying to your kids....

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My dd loves the "music truck" that drives around and plays music for us all to enjoy. She has no idea that it also sells ice cream, hahaha! She also thinks the pool is only open 2x/week. Some kids are just better at accepting "no" than others, and my dd is one who would cry and beg forever, so I just lie.
LOL. This is so me. My dd1 was 4 before she knew you could actually take home the toys in the toy store!!! We never bought anything around and just told her the store was for looking!
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