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Old 07-06-2012, 10:11 PM   #41
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Re: lying to your kids....

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In some pics I've seen they cry IF they sit on his lap.
also true.

he's a scary dude

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Old 07-07-2012, 02:49 AM   #42
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We do and always will do Santa, we also do the 12 days of Christmas. It's always been a special time and I LOVE the holiday season!

We told DD her first Christmases who Santa was, at Easter who the Easter Bunny was, etc. Years from now, if she ever says "you lied to me", we can say we told you, but you were too little to remember. That's the truth. And what we tell the kids is Santa is in all of us, and we build the idea of Santa Claus as being the embodiment of the spirit of Christmas... Because in our family, that's what Santa is.
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:49 AM   #43
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I worried about money constantly as a child, often to the point of being sick. I grew up very poor, with an abusive father who also brought up how we were taking his money that he could have used on something he wanted for school clothes, etc. I also saw my mother cry over leftovers accidentally getting thrown away because she wouldn't have food that night. I will never make my children worry about money until they are old enough to have a job.

As for Santa, that was one of the few wonderful parts of my childhood. I was often lied to by my father- totally crazy things. But never once did I resent a lie about Santa. When I was old enough to learn it wasnt true, I was so surprised that my parents would have taken the time (and incidentally saved the money) to do something nice for me. They were very religious and most of my family didn't do Santa.

I have tiny kids but we already started Santa last year. My toddler was very interested and loved any picture of Santa or the one at the mall (who was a very awesome old man who we know and has the beard anyway and started being Santa when he had grandkids). I get just as excited as a kid when planning how to lay out he toys, wrapping paper, etc. I don't really care that they don't think the toys came from me. We do our own gifts the night before, then stockings and one big gift from Santa the next morning. I love the magic of it.

I don't care if people do Santa or not. I don't think it's necessary, but I don't like that this thread was turning a bit bashy toward people who do. There are many reasons someone would chose to celebrate a holiday in one way or another. We are atheists, but I understand that christian people wouldn't always feel comfortable with Santa, for example.
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:08 AM   #44
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Re: lying to your kids....

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I worried about money constantly as a child, often to the point of being sick. I grew up very poor, with an abusive father who also brought up how we were taking his money that he could have used on something he wanted for school clothes, etc. I also saw my mother cry over leftovers accidentally getting thrown away because she wouldn't have food that night. I will never make my children worry about money until they are old enough to have a job.

As for Santa, that was one of the few wonderful parts of my childhood. I was often lied to by my father- totally crazy things. But never once did I resent a lie about Santa. When I was old enough to learn it wasnt true, I was so surprised that my parents would have taken the time (and incidentally saved the money) to do something nice for me. They were very religious and most of my family didn't do Santa.

I have tiny kids but we already started Santa last year. My toddler was very interested and loved any picture of Santa or the one at the mall (who was a very awesome old man who we know and has the beard anyway and started being Santa when he had grandkids). I get just as excited as a kid when planning how to lay out he toys, wrapping paper, etc. I don't really care that they don't think the toys came from me. We do our own gifts the night before, then stockings and one big gift from Santa the next morning. I love the magic of it.

I don't care if people do Santa or not. I don't think it's necessary, but I don't like that this thread was turning a bit bashy toward people who do. There are many reasons someone would chose to celebrate a holiday in one way or another. We are atheists, but I understand that christian people wouldn't always feel comfortable with Santa, for example.
It is interesting how people perceive things differently online. I didn't see this at all. I saw those who do lie to their kids asking if those of us who don't if we do Santa, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy and some assuming we did. Those of us who were asked answered. Nope, we don't. I didn't see any of it as bashing at all. In fact, I've found this thread to be quite relaxd and respectful unlike how it could have easily turned. If my post came off wrong, I apologize because that was not my intention at all. I couldn't care less if others do Santa or not, so I definitely wasn't judging anyone who does. I was simply replying to those who asked about it.
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:28 AM   #45
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Re: lying to your kids....

my DH is not Christian and he hates the idea of Santa bc of the lying.
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Old 07-07-2012, 12:20 PM   #46
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I don't lie to my kids. There are several reasons, the first being my faith, which states that we're not supposed to "bear false witness", and I believe that to include white lies as well. I also think it sets the parents up for failure. You may have control over this situation, but what if you pass by the carnival when it's open? What if they talk to other kids that went? You will loose your credibility. In their little minds when they have caught you lying before, they will believe that you will do it again and they will question things when you tell them stuff. I want my kids to believe that we can have an open and honest line of communication. Also, if you lie to your kids...what do you say when they lie to you? It too double standard for me. It's like telling your kids they can't have a candy bar, because it's bad for you, and then sitting right in front of them to eat one. In this situation, I would tell my kids that it is too hot. If we could go swimming or something else fun I would tell them that. Otherwise, I would tell them it's too hot, and maybe next year. We don't have a huge whiney problem around here so that wouldn't be an issue. For the record, we also don't do the Easter bunny or santa or anything. I want my kids to be able to know without a shadow of a doubt that I respect them and I will only tell them the truth, even if it's hard. And I expect the same from them.

I don't mean to sound like a big downer and I realize that everyone parents differently. What you tell your kids is up to you, and is no issue of mine. I don't judge other parents on their parenting decisions, that is not my place. This is just personally how I feel for my family.
Exact same here. No Santa, no Easter bunny, no tooth fairy. We get a lot of drama from the in laws about not doing it but who cares what they think as far as doing what you think is best as in not going out in the heat to a crappy carnival good for you at least you don't let your children run the house

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Old 07-07-2012, 01:14 PM   #47
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Re: lying to your kids....

My son is 2 1/2 and has special needs. I have lied to him. I told him the pool at my mom's house closes for nap time & the park by our home closes when it's raining. Today when my mom left our home after being here for a few hours, I told him she was going home to take a nap. You know what, maybe she did go home & nap, maybe she didn't. He's not old enough to understand a full explanation and with his special needs, then there's the wild tantrum factor where he hurts himself or me. I'd rather take my risks lying about things closing for nap time.
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Old 07-08-2012, 12:33 PM   #48
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My son is 2 1/2 and has special needs. I have lied to him. I told him the pool at my mom's house closes for nap time & the park by our home closes when it's raining. Today when my mom left our home after being here for a few hours, I told him she was going home to take a nap. You know what, maybe she did go home & nap, maybe she didn't. He's not old enough to understand a full explanation and with his special needs, then there's the wild tantrum factor where he hurts himself or me. I'd rather take my risks lying about things closing for nap time.


My 7 y/o has a score of special needs, and really just has no ability to cope with disappointment. We're working on it, her therapist is working on it, but in the meantime- some little half truths are necessary to keep us all from losing it.
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Old 07-08-2012, 03:52 PM   #49
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Re: lying to your kids....

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I don't care if people do Santa or not. I don't think it's necessary, but I don't like that this thread was turning a bit bashy toward people who do. There are many reasons someone would chose to celebrate a holiday in one way or another. We are atheists, but I understand that christian people wouldn't always feel comfortable with Santa, for example.
I will be honest...i kinda felt a little "attacked" or "bashed" if you will, after mentioning Santa and having many posts say how the idea of Santa is bad...thats why i stopped replying but ah well. we love santa and i dont look down on parents who would rather take all the credit
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Old 07-08-2012, 03:58 PM   #50
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Re: lying to your kids....

I think that kind of mentality with your kids is dangerous. When you start telling "little white lies" because it makes your job easier you're going to start a trend of telling them lies quite often. It won't be long before they catch you in a lie, and what then? I know my kids would be pretty hurt if I was in the habit of lying to them and they started to realize I was doing that, and so casually.
And what kind of example does it set? And what prescedent for your relationship with them? Do you want lying to be such a casual thing in your family? When they're older they'll think nothing of making things up to you so they don't have to explain themselves. You're teaching them now. You can't change the rules later.
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