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Old 07-08-2012, 04:11 PM   #51
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Re: lying to your kids....

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My 7 y/o has a score of special needs, and really just has no ability to cope with disappointment. We're working on it, her therapist is working on it, but in the meantime- some little half truths are necessary to keep us all from losing it.
I think it's very different when your child honestly cannot deal with the truth yet. That's why they are 'special needs', because they need a little different method of being raised.

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Old 07-08-2012, 04:12 PM   #52
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Re: lying to your kids....

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I agree with this. And like a PP said, I don't want them to think it is okay to lie to me. This may also stem from the fact that I have been lied to a lot, and it is an awful thing to experience. I never want my daughter to feel like I deliberately deceived her.

Now silly things, like telling them the salt and pepper is going to explode if mixed, I'm okay with. That's more of a joke. The kinds of lies you can get caught in though, or that can cause your children to distrust you if found out, I will do my best to avoid.
We don't lie, but we do kid around. I agree with this post.

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I tell my nephew that maybe means maybe yes or maybe no so I do t feel like a maybe is a lie. If the weather had cooled down you might have changed your mind so it actually was a maybe.
I can't stand the "we never lie to our kids crowd". We lie all the time when kids come home with crappy are or ugly jewelry we don't tell them it's ugly. We say it's beautiful and thank them. Plus sometimes the lies let kids be kids for just a little longer so I don't see the harm. I mean I believed in all kinds of stuff when I was a kid and it didn't damage me. Santa, tooth fairy, mo steers in the vents to keep kids from playing with them... It's all good with me. The only lies I don't tell are things like I'm going to take them somewhere or do something when I know I'm not. Those kind of lies damage a kid more then believing in Santa ever will.

Of course this is all just my opinion. lol
Umm. Sorry. But it's not that hard to avoid lying to your kids. Personally, I am not a fan of cheap crap. But if my kid spent 10 minutes threading cheap crappy plastic beads onto a string, you better believe I think that thing is beautiful! If they give me a something that the teacher stapled together for them, I just say "cool, thanks!". Not seeing a need for lies there.


eta~ we talk to our kids about money. Not freaking them out so they think we won't be able to eat, but I do want my 5 yo to be aware that dh works to put food on the table. And they are both aware of the fact that we carefully choose what we buy. Not because we don't have any money at all, but because we try to be responsible when we spend it.

Also, no santa, easter bunny or tooth fairy here. I'm another mom who is seen as the WORST person in the world by some family members for it too.

Last edited by threelittlehoneys; 07-08-2012 at 04:24 PM.
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Old 07-08-2012, 04:14 PM   #53
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I will be honest...i kinda felt a little "attacked" or "bashed" if you will, after mentioning Santa and having many posts say how the idea of Santa is bad...thats why i stopped replying but ah well. we love santa and i dont look down on parents who would rather take all the credit
meh..

I felt 'bashed' and 'attacked' when people were all "oh, all those people who say they NEVER lie.. they TOTALLY do Santa, so they're liars already!!!!" (emphasis added).

which is why those of us came in to say that we do not.

I don't look down on or care if people do Santa or not. I don't particularly think it's the same as 'lying' although it is. It feels different somehow even though I don't do Santa... but it's not about 'lying' to me, but about the 'reason for the season' being very different to me. I think of Santa as a decision that has nothing to do with truth or lies. It's Santa. This is some people's 'spirit of the season' and that is their right. meh.
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Old 07-08-2012, 04:47 PM   #54
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Re: lying to your kids....

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meh..

I felt 'bashed' and 'attacked' when people were all "oh, all those people who say they NEVER lie.. they TOTALLY do Santa, so they're liars already!!!!" (emphasis added).

which is why those of us came in to say that we do not.

I don't look down on or care if people do Santa or not. I don't particularly think it's the same as 'lying' although it is. It feels different somehow even though I don't do Santa... but it's not about 'lying' to me, but about the 'reason for the season' being very different to me. I think of Santa as a decision that has nothing to do with truth or lies. It's Santa. This is some people's 'spirit of the season' and that is their right. meh.
i was not references those who DO NOT do santa LOL i was references those who DO tell their kids santa is real and claim to be 100% honest with their kids 100% percent of the time. and i wasnt calling those parents LIERS..i was using it as an example as something that is not 100% the truth to me is not a "bad" lie to tell your kids if its a part of the spirit of the holiday in ONES OWN family. and it TOTALLY got turned into "we dont do santa and here is why" again, FAR from the nature of my point
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Old 07-08-2012, 05:13 PM   #55
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Re: lying to your kids....



well, I didn't really feel bashed or attacked. but I guess my point was that it looked like it was coming from both sides. I don't think it was actually coming from either side, really.
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