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Old 07-05-2012, 08:48 AM   #1
I_run_with_scissors
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Would you tell your neighbour if their child was using racial slurs?

if you repeatably heard their child using a racial slur?

my neighbors son is about 13 years old and he, and his friends, refer to another friend as the N word, his friend is black, and his friend is obviously not offended (if any of that makes a difference)

I have asked him myself not to use that language, mostly because i dont think its ok to talk that way, but also because i have younger children who play outside and i dont want them repeating that. But if course it has not made much of a difference

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Old 07-05-2012, 09:07 AM   #2
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Re: Would you tell your neighbour if their child was using racial slurs?

Yes but I've often found that's where the kids learn it. We had a kid doing that and his father found out and didn't punish him. My hubby said knowing the father, he probably picked it up at the dinner table.

Of course, I have a nephew who uses it not in a deragatory way, but because he thinks he's a rapper or some nonsense and that whole thug life/ghetto language is cool. I know for a fact that his mother doesn't talk like that and he's got friends of every race and they all do it. Apparently using niqqa or nigga is different from the traditional spelling in their mind and makes it not racist but cool.

I personally would not allow any of it but it's never been an issue with my son, maybe because I publicly threatened him with a wedgie followed by only tidy whities the first time I noticed the pants dipping a little low ))
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Old 07-05-2012, 09:25 AM   #3
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I dont know....I might ask the parents to ask the son not to use it around you/the kids but dont be shocked if it continues. Id probably just try to avoid them and play in the back yard if possible.
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Old 07-05-2012, 11:12 AM   #4
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Re: Would you tell your neighbour if their child was using racial slurs?

I would tell the parents, and ask that he not use the word within earshot of your kiddos. As a parent, I would want to know. I try to give others the same courtesy.
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Old 07-05-2012, 05:11 PM   #5
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Re: Would you tell your neighbour if their child was using racial slurs?

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Originally Posted by luvsviola View Post
I would tell the parents, and ask that he not use the word within earshot of your kiddos. As a parent, I would want to know. I try to give others the same courtesy.
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Old 07-05-2012, 05:16 PM   #6
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I would ignore it and explain to your kids that that's not a nice word. I doubt the kid is using it in derogatory way.
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Old 07-05-2012, 07:18 PM   #7
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A) I'd tell the kid that that word is absolutely not an acceptable word to use, period.

B) I would certainly bring it up to the kids parents in a "your child used this language around my kids" matter of fact. How they choose to address it is obviously beyond me, but their response would certainly be telling enough for me to decide whether I will be allowing my kid to hang around with them again.

As an aside, I my general method of operation is to not often correct other peoples children, however in regard to this topic I'd make the exception. I've taken grown men to task over their use of the N word before.
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Old 07-05-2012, 07:49 PM   #8
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Re: Would you tell your neighbour if their child was using racial slurs?

The neighbor's son and his friends are not insulting each other. It is just a word to them. Are they in your yard or theirs? If they are in their yard all you can do is not let your kids outside when they are talking like that. If they are in your yard then you can rip into them, which is what I would do.
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Old 07-06-2012, 04:03 AM   #9
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Re: Would you tell your neighbour if their child was using racial slurs?

is the boy saying the N word also black? I ask b/c my dd's dad is black, and he will say to his other black friends "hey, nigga" or what not. But, if a white person were to be like "hey nigga" he'd FLIP OUT. I asked him about it once, and he said something about it being okay between 2 black people, but never a white and black person. I found that crazy, and do not allow the use of the N word, ever. Obviously, since her dad is black, my dd is half black (I'm white as can be lol), and she doesn't like the word. She's had people say it to her (other kids, not meaning to be offensive sort of way) and she's told them "that is not an appropriate way to talk to me. I do not like that word" <--isn't she great? hehe. Anyway, if it is not bothering the other kid (but how do you REALLY know, unless you've asked him, and even then he may not tell you), then I wouldn't worry about it. IDK I'd probably give a lecture to them all about the word, and how it can be offensive to many people. BTW my dh's ex-gf/baby mama calls my daughter the N word, in a completely, purposeful offensive way and it is no way ok. Luckily, she'd never said it to my dd's face, just to me.
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Old 07-06-2012, 09:47 AM   #10
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Re: Would you tell your neighbour if their child was using racial slurs?

I wouldn't. A lot of times kids learn it from their parents. And even if he didn't, the parents might not care, or might think you were sticking your nose where it didn't belong. I would talk to my kids about it, and explain how I felt about it and we don't say it in our family, but that's it.
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