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Old 07-10-2012, 07:04 PM   #31
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Re: Devastated, but continuing with you ladies...loss trigger

DDC - I am so very sorry mama. Eden will know how loved she is and how blessed she is to be in your family <3 Keeping you in prayer.

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Old 07-10-2012, 08:11 PM   #32
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Re: Devastated, but continuing with you ladies...loss trigger

What's DDC mean?

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. It means a lot to us to know people are praying for us. I feel a wave of peace at times outta nowhere, and I know it's God giving me strength to get through each day. We have a 3D/4D ultrasound this Friday that we were so blessed to receive from my cousin for my birthday, complete with a little teddy bear that will have Eden's heartbeat in it. It's really going to feel good to get to "see" our little girl alive and happy - I'm so afraid she'll be in pain once she's born.

Rachael, those are some great ideas - I've started a list on a scrap of paper, that I'll hopefully put onto the blog soon, and those things are on there. I knew about NowILayMeDownToSleep.com, but I didn't know they also did pregnancy photos. That's something to remember when I get bigger...so far I don't really even look pregnant, though I definitely look fatter than when I started.

At this point I'm not sure the hospital I'll be using...my original plan was to labour at a hotel next to the hospital that I WANT to birth at (that "doesn't allow VBACs") and show up at the last moment so they couldn't transfer me away - it's a nice small hospital, with an amazing OB (who was totally supportive of my plan, and probably still will be), amazing nurses (one of which is a really good friend of mine that I met at my first birth), and an amazing OB director...but these types of pregnancies often have to be induced, so when the time comes, we are going to try to induce with herbs, but if that doesn't work, I'll probably end up in a huge hospital being induced 65 miles away with absolutely nobody that I know...I'm praying we can get labour to start on our own.

I have a friend of mine, who also happens to be a doula and student midwife, coming down to stay with us and attend the birth with us, plus I have a very strong family support system that is going to be surrounding me during birth...I'm just desperately praying everything goes okay during birth though, both for Eden's survival, and for my own mental health...another c-section would probably force me into a bad depression - my last one almost did, but because I had a healthy, live child from it all, I was able to cope...not having a live child out of the birth and ending in a c-section...I just don't want to think of that... It would kill my chances at a normal birth in the future, because no hospital within 100 miles will allow a vbac after 2 c-sections...and homebirth isn't an option...and the thought of having to wait at least an entire year after this birth before we could even begin to think about another pregnancy also really scares me. There are just so many things that could make everything worse in an already devastating situation. Ugh.
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Old 07-10-2012, 09:35 PM   #33
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Old 07-11-2012, 05:43 AM   #34
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Re: Devastated, but continuing with you ladies...loss trigger

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Old 07-12-2012, 08:55 PM   #35
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Oh mama, I wanted to jump back on and recommend the book "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith. She is a beautiful writer and their daughter received a similar diagnosis in utero. She has a blog too called "Bring the Rain". Her book really helped me when we lost our DD.
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Old 07-12-2012, 09:53 PM   #36
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Originally Posted by keen1981
I'm in awe of you mama. So much strength. Hugs and many prayers.
This!!
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:40 PM   #37
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Re: Devastated, but continuing with you ladies...loss trigger

Quote:
Originally Posted by girlichick View Post
Oh mama, I wanted to jump back on and recommend the book "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith. She is a beautiful writer and their daughter received a similar diagnosis in utero. She has a blog too called "Bring the Rain". Her book really helped me when we lost our DD.
I think I'm meant to read her blog. This is the third or fourth reference to her (and her husband) that different people have made... The latest thing someone talked about was the song I Will Carry You that her husband wrote. I'm going to find it, and I think I'll get her book as well. Thank you.
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Old 07-15-2012, 10:10 PM   #38
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Re: Devastated, but continuing with you ladies...loss trigger

Just visiting from the fsot, but wanted to say im still and always will be thinking of you virginia. Ive been following your blog, and eden is such a beautiful loved little girl.
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Old 07-16-2012, 05:20 PM   #39
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Re: Devastated, but continuing with you ladies...loss trigger

You're an amazing mama, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm so sorry that you are going through this.
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Old 07-17-2012, 05:07 PM   #40
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Re: Devastated, but continuing with you ladies...loss trigger

Virgina I'm so sorry to hear of your little girl. In 2009 our daughter Abigail was diagnosed with Trisomy 18 and we were told she would not survive. We didn't know how long. I was 12 wks along at the time. We carried her until almost 18wks before she left us. I cherrished every minute of her inside me. We delivered her and held her. We now celebrate her life every year on her birthday. Our kids when asked say there are 5 kids in our family because there are, Abby just watches us from Heaven. ((HUGS)) if you'd like to talk I'm here. I know its hard trying to cherrish your pregnany plan a funeral at the same time. It's hard when you feel like you are alone. Please PM me.
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