Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-09-2014, 11:48 PM   #1
uncertain's Avatar
uncertain
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,199
I feel that my kids are safe, so this is just a vent I guess. I'm new to this nanny thing, 6 weeks in, and I just really don't like my nanny's personality..she's, how do I describe this..I guess she's just an angry person, like a person who always sees the negative and always expects kids to be "bad". She tells me every single day that she "sees things that bother her in their behavior" and that she "expects more from them". She wants more please and thank you's from them and no sibling bickering. I was a sahm for over 8 years and I never felt that my kids weren't "living up to expectations". I dunno, they're just kids, IMO. Why can't she just play with them and stop ragging on them? It's almost like she wants to hear me validate her thoughts that they are "bad". IMO, they're really not, they're just kids, sometimes they don't want to put pants on or socks and to me that's not a huge deal, but the nanny is really getting into battles of wills over things like this and it seems that every little kid annoyance is a huge deal to her. Can anyone relate to this? When they're building with blocks and one says, "my structure is way better than yours" I might throw out a "you've both been working hard, look at those great structures, you're both doing really well", but she goes on and on with them about how they're being unkind and failing at working together etc. Ugh. Every time I ask, "how was the day", I know that her response will be along the lines of "terrible", and I guess I'm just whining here because she is very reliable and communicates well, she's just so negative and do I really want that or does reliability counteract it? I don't know, like I said, just a plain ole vent, sorry.
(She is 40 and childless and a very "alpha" personality, in case that's relevant here)

Advertisement


Last edited by uncertain; 04-09-2014 at 11:58 PM.
uncertain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 12:36 AM   #2
Sarah-B's Avatar
Sarah-B
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,678
I wonder if her not having kids makes her not realize that it is normal for kids to say things like my _____ is better than yours.

I would tell her flat out that is a kid being a kid.

If she is still super critical and you are only 6 weeks in I would look at other nannies personally. You don't want that negative outlook on life to rub off on your kids.
Sarah-B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 01:09 AM   #3
2+2macht4's Avatar
2+2macht4
Super Moderator
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: In a quaint village smack in the middle of the black forest.
Posts: 15,544
Re: I'm just going to whine for a moment about my nanny..

I would maybe sit down and try to talk to her, acknowledge her cocerns but redirect towards your parenting approach and ask her to try and continue the attributes you teach in your home.
__________________
Rena , Married to my German BFF T . Mom to 2 energizer bunnies L (12/2010) and E (10/2012). Come play with me: ISO/IHA, M2M,
2+2macht4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 01:19 AM   #4
goMamaMel's Avatar
goMamaMel
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 157
Re: I'm just going to whine for a moment about my nanny..

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2+2macht4 View Post
I would maybe sit down and try to talk to her, acknowledge her cocerns but redirect towards your parenting approach and ask her to try and continue the attributes you teach in your home.
yeah that. but also i would say go with your gut mama. if you don't think she's a good match for your family then call it quits and find someone who will be more encouraging and laid back.
there are a lot of nannies out there and although it might be hard in the mean time while you are looking for the right person, once you find them wouldn't you feel so much happier?
anyway. easier said than done. thats tough though and i feel for you!
__________________
Crazy crunchy CDing, , co-sleeping, babywearing mama to the most amazing little ones in the world.
J- 4/2011 & E- 4/2013 & L- 6/2014
goMamaMel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 03:51 AM   #5
amitchell98's Avatar
amitchell98
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,365
Re: I'm just going to whine for a moment about my nanny..

how do your kids feel about her?
__________________
I'm Amber, wife to Brian , and mommy to Myles 7/21/08 , Eloise 3/2/11, Lorelei and my furry baby Lucy 2/8/08.
amitchell98 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 08:00 AM   #6
babyike2011's Avatar
babyike2011
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,002
My Mood:
I, personally, could not deal with someone who had nothing but negative things to say about my kids. I watch a little boy who can be rather difficult and is beig evaluated for autism, even when we have a horrible night I try to convey the positives to his mom too. Nobody wants to hear that little Sally is nothing but a bratty demon child, kwim? I would probably find a new nanny, but that's just me
__________________
mama to my 4 krazy k's
babyike2011 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 09:48 AM   #7
bookwookie
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 113
Re: I'm just going to whine for a moment about my nanny..

Trust your instincts....

In my opinion, a nanny should be generally coming from a place of love and kindness for children (as her personality) even if she is firm...
bookwookie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 11:19 AM   #8
sunnyllama
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 299
Re: I'm just going to whine for a moment about my nanny..

Yeah, it sounds like your parenting style differs from hers. I was a nanny for years before I started teaching, in my experience nanny partnerships work best when everyone shares the same views and opinions on child-rearing/behaviors. Do both you and her a favor and find someone else. It may seem small now, but it will grow over time.
sunnyllama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 11:23 AM   #9
MrsMartin2013
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 350
My Mood:
Re: I'm just going to whine for a moment about my nanny..

You should LOVE your nanny. She should feel like family. You are trusting her with the most prized and important aspects of your life. Your nanny should love your kids and care solely about their well being and development. My cousin has been a nanny for years, and she pours so much of herself into the families she has worked for over the years. I feel it should be like that. If I were you, Id start looking for a new nanny. What if she is constantly telling the kids they are not good enough? That cannot be good for their spirits.
MrsMartin2013 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-10-2014, 11:53 AM   #10
Junipervt's Avatar
Junipervt
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: VT
Posts: 6,826
My Mood:
Re: I'm just going to whine for a moment about my nanny..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah-B View Post
I wonder if her not having kids makes her not realize that it is normal for kids to say things like my _____ is better than yours.

I would tell her flat out that is a kid being a kid.

If she is still super critical and you are only 6 weeks in I would look at other nannies personally. You don't want that negative outlook on life to rub off on your kids.

if she's not what you want find someone else & be sure to ask those "what would you do/say if?" questions to find someone who fits your parenting style better. you'll regret it if you let it go too long & she wont be happy either.

fwiw I am a former professional nanny. a good nanny family fit is very important to keep everyone happy.
__________________
Kathlin wife to Errol mama to my big girl Kezia (4/08) , my ft woolie wearing little guy Cowan (11/10) , & rainbow babe Agnes (10/13) we're a co-op dwelling family I blog [/URL]
Junipervt is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.