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Old 07-09-2012, 06:32 PM   #51
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Re: Your thoughts please..... and support

I'm sorry that happen. They obviously have no knowledge on child development. I would be upset if that happen to my baby. Don't beat yourself up. You did not do anything and it hard to react in the moment. It was a one time occurrence and it happen with another adult. Your son still knows he can count on you. I don't blame you for finding another church. My youngest doesn't do well when she is left in the nursery at the UUA church or when we did parenting workshops. So far they held her while she was upset and then came to get us when they were not able to calm her. That is what I expect.


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Old 07-09-2012, 07:05 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by tallanvor
Before you head off to find another church, if that's what you and DH feel God calling you to do, please speak to the pastor. Even if you leave, he needs to know your reasons so that he can take steps to see it doesn't happen again. Her behavior is not acceptable and she needs to be held accountable for it.

Try to not beat yourself up over this. We all make mistakes, unfortunately, so you are certainly not alone.
I agree 100% with this.

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Old 07-09-2012, 08:50 PM   #53
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Re: Your thoughts please..... and support

Oh my! So sorry to hear about this experience! I always have to make "the walk of shame" back to the nursery because my 3rd son isn't ready to be apart from me for that long (like 4 minutes long in a new place). He's 2 yrs. old. It's our routine (I let them try to distract him, it never works, they come and get me). I know some day, he'll transition to being okay. My infant stays with me still or I go back to the nursery with my two youngest (like you do with yours).

Anyway, I would speak to the Children's Minister... maybe he'd want to set up a meeting with the nursery worker and you or maybe not. Her attitude and what she did was not acceptable. Not at all.
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Old 07-09-2012, 09:20 PM   #54
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Re: Your thoughts please..... and support

Originally Posted by KingsDaughter76 View Post
TShe is in her older 40-50' she probably looked at me as some young mother with no experience...
That makes me think, you could be doing a lot of moms & kids a favor if you talk to her supervisor about this. She could be working in church nurseries for decades to come...some intervention right now may help her learn more appropriate behavior.
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Old 07-09-2012, 10:42 PM   #55
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Re: Your thoughts please..... and support

Oh mama I'm so sorry! I have worked in a church nursery and I can tell you none of us would ever have dreamed of treating a baby that way! I would definitely say something, she should not be acting like that.
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Old 07-09-2012, 10:44 PM   #56
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Re: Your thoughts please..... and support

You are stronger than me. I would have punched her.
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Old 07-10-2012, 12:11 AM   #57
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Re: Your thoughts please..... and support

The "punching her" comments make me laugh...even my DH said he wanted to go knock her head! I feel the same, so I am trying to pray my way thru this...and not react from the raw emotions I feel about it all. Mama bear is on the prowl now...grrrrrr!
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Old 07-10-2012, 12:48 AM   #58
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Didn't read all response but I would call and talk to someone at the church. Her job as a nursery worker is to love on kids and make them feel safe IMO, not to tell parent what to do with their kids. I have worked in our church nursery and while I do encourage parent to leave their kids I never punish the kids or assume it is a fit if they want mom. I hold them and rock them and sing to them or try to show them a mew toy. They usually calm down within a few minutes after receiving a little love. Sorry mommy, that is tough.
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Old 07-10-2012, 01:43 AM   #59
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Re: Your thoughts please..... and support

I would find a new church but make sure you do what you can to protect the kids are being left with her.

Originally Posted by Green Decals View Post
I agree with the previous responses, and will add this... I hate to say it, but, her pressuring you into leaving him and the idea that parents don't usually stay with their kids in that nursery (which is completely opposite of every church nursery experience I have ever had) makes me seriously question what, exactly, is going on in there that she doesn't want parents to see. A 13-month-old does NOT need to be "disciplined" or "taught a lesson" by a complete stranger, EVER, but most especially in the midst of his first experience without mom or dad. What the heck does she do to the kids who have been there a while?!?!?!
My thoughts exactly! Scary!

Originally Posted by L J View Post
I am so sorry that you and your son has to go through this today.

Reading what this woman put your baby through (because he is still very much a BABY) makes me feel the urge to throw up.

I admire you for not punching her. I probably would have.

Everyone else gave great and adult advice. Me? Honestly? I hate confrontation. I would write a very detailed letter to whoever might care and never go back to that church. And maybe egg her house.
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Old 07-10-2012, 10:13 AM   #60
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Re: Your thoughts please..... and support

That is absolutely crazy. I am very involved in our nursery/children's ministry at our church. Our nursery is pretty laid back, since we currently have only 2-4 babies on Sunday. But if a parent wants to stay (and some do) that is perfectly fine. If I'm working that Sunday, I love it when parents stay, since it gives an extra pair of hands with the kiddos! I can't even imagine giving that sort of advice to a parent -- especially someone I barely know. Is this same lady in the nursery every Sunday, or do you have a rotation? I agree with your choice of leaving the church -- hopefully you are in an area with several good churches to choose from. Church is very important to me, and having a place to go where I can trust that my kids will be nurtured is every bit as important as finding a church that I agree with doctrinally.
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