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Old 07-25-2012, 08:19 AM   #141
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss Thread

Anyone else have nightmares about miscarrying? I am still freaked out!

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Old 07-25-2012, 01:07 PM   #142
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss Thread

Definitely will say a prayer Alycia!

I don't typically have nightmares like that. My dreams are all weird and not realistic at all
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Old 07-25-2012, 01:47 PM   #143
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss Thread

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Anyone else have nightmares about miscarrying? I am still freaked out!
Totally. Mostly it's just bloody flashes. But once I had this dream that my OB turned into a new age weirdo and lost his license and he was trying to reassure me that I wasn't mcing even though I was bleeding all over the place. But that was last pregnancy. This one... I'm doing a very good job at being in denial about all my fears. I just had one bloody flash dream about 4 weeks ago
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Old 07-25-2012, 05:03 PM   #144
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss Thread

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There's this song that starts out "Afraid to love something that could break. Could I move on if you were torn away? And I'm so close to what I can't control. Can't give you half my heart and pray He makes you whole.
And it hits me so hard because that's exactly where I am. I do love this baby very much, but I know I'm holding back from giving my entire self because I know how much it hurts when it all comes crashing down. I'd love to give my entire heart, but I can't figure out how.

Anyone else know exactly what I mean?
YES! I know EXACTLY what you mean!

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I wasn't able to talk about this pregnancy for weeks. Not even a word not even eith my husband. And I didnt tell my mother until 8 weeks (we're very close . I previously shared the news seconds after telling my dh) I just couldn't let myself care. I couldn't get hurt again. Although Im out of my normal "loss range", I still don't believe I'll really have a baby come Feb. and I think that's because I haven't let myself get too attached.
DH told me later he felt somewhat cheated out of the pregnancy with DD2 because there were so many issues with the pregnancy that I never wanted to talk about it. I was just so scared that if I talked about it, it would be real, and then it would hurt more if I lost the baby! I still feel that way about this baby, but I've been trying to talk to DH more about it, so he can enjoy it, even if I don't always feel like I can, KWIM?

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Melissa (ChocolateMoose) and Girlichick- I'm 33 weeks and I'm still not 100% comfortable either. I finally reached the point where I can complain about things that hurt without feeling super super guilty at least. This pregnancy has done areal number on me, physically and mentally. I was having bad anxiety issues prior to pregnancy and they've just blown up since. I was able to keep things in check the first half, but the past few weeks have been hell. Last week I woke up around 3am with bad restless legs. That leg to anxiety, which led to nausea and being unable to sleep, which eventually turned into an all day panic attack. I'm battling a bit of depression too, but the anxiety and not having slept put me in a very, very scary place that morning that I pray I never have to go back to. Throw in the nausea thats come back full force, incredibly painful hips and thighs, sciatica, being super tired, peeing as much as every 15 minutes at times, heartburn, you name it I've got it (or had it). I am incredibly thankful to be pregnant after our loss and struggle to get pregnant, but it doesn't make the pregnancy any easier. It just adds more guilt when I complain!

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Totally agree! On one hand I'm so ready to be done having babies because it's physically/emotionally overwhelming...but on the other hand I feel guilty complaining about anything because this baby seems to be doing so well!
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Old 07-25-2012, 05:08 PM   #145
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss Thread

Okay, funny story for you all to lighten the day...

Last night I had a crazy pregnant dream. I was late to work because I was in the middle of a college exam (even though I've been out of college for a decade), but I wasn't worried about either work or the exam (even though I was in the classroom, being chased by the mom of the kid I should've been working with)...because I was running around looking for the 5 washing machines that fell off the back of my bike on the way to the classroom!

It totally made sense at the time, but when I woke up, I kept thinking....how would I even fit 5 washers ON the back of a bike? It was like a work dream, exam dream, and crazy overwhelming life dream all at once! And then when I woke up...I was late to work!
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Old 07-25-2012, 05:14 PM   #146
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss Thread

Oh man, those crazy dreams! I had one last night that I can't remember now, but it felt SO real at the time. DH was in it, but did something uncharacteristic of him, and when I was telling him about the dream (to make sure it WAS a dream and didn't really happen), he confirmed that he did NOT and would not EVER do what I dreamed he did. I wish now I could remember what it was.

One dream I do remember though is that I was a Hibachi chef, and they had taught me to cook, but not to clean, so I moved from table to table in the restaurant as I "used" them up. I was the only chef there for a while, then when a second chef came in, they took over the cooking and finally someone taught me how to clean my grills and I had to go back and clean all of them. And there was this one table that had me frustrated b/c I couldn't get my little "onion volcano" thing to stay stacked up properly.
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Old 07-25-2012, 06:36 PM   #147
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Speaking of weird dreams....a few nights ago I was having a weird sex dream (which didn't star my dh!) and then all of a sudden I was shoving nuts & bolts into my mouth because they wouldn't fit into the container I was moving. ??? Next I started wretching and vomiting up the nuts & bolts in my dream. I woke up immediately and was wretching for real! Who gets m/s while sleeping?! So weird.

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Old 07-25-2012, 07:56 PM   #148
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss Thread

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Oh man, those crazy dreams! I had one last night that I can't remember now, but it felt SO real at the time. DH was in it, but did something uncharacteristic of him, and when I was telling him about the dream (to make sure it WAS a dream and didn't really happen), he confirmed that he did NOT and would not EVER do what I dreamed he did. I wish now I could remember what it was.

One dream I do remember though is that I was a Hibachi chef, and they had taught me to cook, but not to clean, so I moved from table to table in the restaurant as I "used" them up. I was the only chef there for a while, then when a second chef came in, they took over the cooking and finally someone taught me how to clean my grills and I had to go back and clean all of them. And there was this one table that had me frustrated b/c I couldn't get my little "onion volcano" thing to stay stacked up properly.
Okay, the chef dream was

Maybe ask DH about the dream you asked him about....if it was something he'd never do, maybe he remembers you asking about it?

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Speaking of weird dreams....a few nights ago I was having a weird sex dream (which didn't star my dh!) and then all of a sudden I was shoving nuts & bolts into my mouth because they wouldn't fit into the container I was moving. ??? Next I started wretching and vomiting up the nuts & bolts in my dream. I woke up immediately and was wretching for real! Who gets m/s while sleeping?! So weird.

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Oh my! Sounds like your body changed your mind halfway through that dream!
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Old 07-25-2012, 08:09 PM   #149
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Re: Pregnancy After Loss Thread

Alycia- I'll be thinking good thoughts for your sweet boy to come right home with you!

Trace- OMgosh All I could picture too was actually being in the act of dtd and then having to throw up!

Andrea- LOL at the chef dream that is awesome. I've been to one where the volcano thing didn't work right away haha..awkward lol.
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Old 07-25-2012, 09:08 PM   #150
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Oh man these dreams! I haven't had a m/c dream in awhile, but they went on for months so I'm glad to be done with that for now. The nuts and bolts dream reminds me that I dreamt the other day that I was choking on my tongue because there were new tongues growing in the back of my throat. Sooooo unpleasant! Come on...enough of this weird junk. I'd really like some fun prego dreams.
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