Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-20-2012, 10:23 PM   #51
newmommy13's Avatar
newmommy13
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 7,750
Re: Baby is here.

Thats an awesome way to approach it imo. I think you are right it probably would hae been more difficult for her to understand if you didn thave a relationship with her. A picture would be good but not the same.

Advertisement

__________________
I, mama to dd A (3-08) dfs J (10/11) and in love with newbie dfd N! (10/13)
hopeful pre-adoptive foster family
newmommy13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2012, 12:50 AM   #52
Umm_Ibraheem's Avatar
Umm_Ibraheem
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,183
My Mood:
Re: Baby is here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnymommy View Post
Last year when i was pregnant with ds, dd2 started talking about "When I was in your tummy Mommy.." and I replied with, "Well, honey, you weren't in my tummy, you were in X's tummy. And then she went to the hospital and you came out and Mommy and Daddy came to get you." And she looked at me for a minute and said, "Oh, yeah." (like, yeah, that's how it was - but she'd never heard that before as it hadn't come up). And I just truly think that if she had no idea who X was, had never met her, that that would have been a much more difficult conversation / idea for her to grasp. But, maybe pictures would suffice?? I just don't know. I have always believed it's better for the kids to know who birthmom is and just grow up like that and it's not a big deal...
I really like your honesty. I don't have any experience whatsoever in fostering or adopting but this is how I envision myself doing it. The logistics of HOW it will get done are beyond me for now but the overall idea is there.

I told DH (I'm still buttering him up and bringing this topic up to test the waters) that if we adopted I would keep all the information known about the birth mom, her family etc and if its not possible or not healthy for her to be in touch with the child directly I would keep her updated via pics unless she asked not to. I would be upfront about their adoption story and reassure them that I love them and when they are ready to look for their bio or reconnect I would help out (if they wanted me to) and handover the info I know and he really liked it and AGREED that he would do something like that. Too optimistic and naive? yeah, probably. What do you think?
__________________
WAHM to DS 10|08, DD 09|10, Rainbow DD 01|13.
Wife to a bearded one. Childhood Leukemia Suvivor. Got amazon!
*please don't quote me so I can delete if needed thanks*

Last edited by Umm_Ibraheem; 07-21-2012 at 12:52 AM.
Umm_Ibraheem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2012, 05:26 PM   #53
Beth.
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 812
My Mood:
Re: Baby is here.

.
__________________
Mom to two beautiful girls

Last edited by Beth.; 12-03-2012 at 10:52 AM.
Beth. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2012, 12:13 PM   #54
sunnymommy
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 1,969
Re: Baby is here.

I never know whether to put updates in this thread or on the chat thread. Anyway, we are still waiting for relinquishment/consent signing. Hoping we are getting close. We Think named bio-Dad signed for his mailed legal notification the beginning of the week and then we wait five days and then BM can sign.

If she does... She's a little irked with me right now. Drama, drama.
sunnymommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2012, 09:07 PM   #55
sunnymommy
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 1,969
Re: Baby is here.

She signed today

The social worker will bring the official adoptive placement papers for us to sign tomorrow, and we will be legally adopting rather than babysitting! And we can put her on our insurance. And post a pic

Now we wait six months to set a court date for finalization...
sunnymommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2012, 09:15 PM   #56
newmommy13's Avatar
newmommy13
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 7,750
Re: Baby is here.







can't wait for a pic!!!
__________________
I, mama to dd A (3-08) dfs J (10/11) and in love with newbie dfd N! (10/13)
hopeful pre-adoptive foster family
newmommy13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2012, 06:59 AM   #57
Msheidiann's Avatar
Msheidiann
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 1,014
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnymommy
She signed today

The social worker will bring the official adoptive placement papers for us to sign tomorrow, and we will be legally adopting rather than babysitting! And we can put her on our insurance. And post a pic

Now we wait six months to set a court date for finalization...
Yahoooooo!!!!! So happy for you!
__________________
SAHM and Wife to Matthew
Forever Mommy to Thomas
Msheidiann is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2012, 11:39 AM   #58
FindingMercy's Avatar
FindingMercy
Registered Users
Formerly: Evie'sMama
seller
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 2,479
My Mood:
What wonderful news!!!
__________________
Married to Scott and Mama to Evelyn (5) Annabelle (3) and Abraham (1)

I blog about our family, trans-racial adoption, gluten-free cooking, and crafting

FindingMercy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2012, 12:11 PM   #59
iwiamandaiwi's Avatar
iwiamandaiwi
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,218
Re: Baby is here.

so happy for you! I am so glad that this child will be able to grown up in a safe and loving home. I feel aweful for her children that are still living with her. Have you decided what you are going to do about visiting with the bm and stuff? My instinct is screaming not to let your children be exposed to a person who lies and does drugs but the fact that your older daughter is used to seeing her bm complicates things. How do you think she would take it if you cut contact from her bm? if she would not take it very well then mabye seeing her a few times a year at a public park, as other people have suggested, would be a good solution. So happy for your adoption and so sorry for the situation. People like that are so toxic.
__________________
Breastfeeding , Cloth Diapering, Babywearing Mommy, to Dylan Michael (September 2007) Aiden Edward (March 2011) and anxiously waiting for Katherine Sophia due in MAY!
iwiamandaiwi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2012, 10:16 PM   #60
NaplesMom's Avatar
NaplesMom
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 311
My Mood:
Re: Baby is here.

Congrats!!
__________________
Mom of T,17and J, 14 and in 2012 after 6 long years, adoption blessed us with Jude, 2
NaplesMom is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.