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Old 07-11-2012, 09:23 PM   #1
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Why does DD wake every 45 minutes?

I am losing patience and need ideas. My nearly 8 month-old girl rarely sleeps for more than about 45 minutes at a time. It's not unusual for her to wake up 10 times per night. (As a newborn she used to sleep for a couple hours at a time.)

She sleeps in my bed or in a cosleeper. She nurses a ton at night, even though I do not limit her daytime feedings. Whether I am present beside her seems to make no difference in her waking. When she does wake, she's not distressed, but usually the boob's the only thing that will get her back to sleep.

Maybe one of you can shed some light on what has become a very exhausting situation. I'm a FTM, in case you can't tell.

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Old 07-11-2012, 09:25 PM   #2
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Re: Why does DD wake every 45 minutes?

super super SUPER common. 45 minutes is about the length of one sleep cycle. your daughter needs help transitioning to the next sleep cycle, she cant do it on her own. there are several sleep training books that discuss ways to overcome this. even if you are anti-CIO or even anti-sleep training, you can still find very gentle tips to get your daughter past this stage.
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Old 07-11-2012, 09:34 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by doodah
super super SUPER common. 45 minutes is about the length of one sleep cycle. your daughter needs help transitioning to the next sleep cycle, she cant do it on her own. there are several sleep training books that discuss ways to overcome this. even if you are anti-CIO or even anti-sleep training, you can still find very gentle tips to get your daughter past this stage.
Thanks! Are there any specific titles you can recommend? I am so tired of people telling me my baby "should" be sleeping "at least six hours straight," blah blah blah. But I do want to help her along however I can.
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Old 07-11-2012, 11:00 PM   #4
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Re: Why does DD wake every 45 minutes?

VERY normal & what I went through w/#2... so exhausting, but healthy for baby to wake up & no SIDS risk, that's for sure... but seriously draining for mama !!
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Old 07-12-2012, 07:34 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doodah
super super SUPER common. 45 minutes is about the length of one sleep cycle. your daughter needs help transitioning to the next sleep cycle, she cant do it on her own. there are several sleep training books that discuss ways to overcome this. even if you are anti-CIO or even anti-sleep training, you can still find very gentle tips to get your daughter past this stage.
I disagree. Both my girls went through this around 8-9 months, so we co-slept, then one day they just stopped.
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Old 07-12-2012, 08:57 AM   #6
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Re: Why does DD wake every 45 minutes?

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I disagree. Both my girls went through this around 8-9 months, so we co-slept, then one day they just stopped.
I coslept with all 3 of mine pretty much from birth. None of them just stopped on their own. I always did something differently (or they gained a skill) and then they stopped.

My first one did the 45 minute business until he could put his paci back in all by himself. (around 12 months)
My second one did it until I started giving her formula during the day and stopped nursing at night-around 9 months. (It's sad that I feel I need to put this disclaimer in, but I was pg with my 3rd at this time and I was NOT producing enough milk to sustain my daughter.)
My third one did it until 12 months when I nightweaned him from the breast.
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Old 07-12-2012, 09:06 AM   #7
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This is pretty much exactly what we are going through! No advice, but I will be stalking this thread to see what these mamas have to say as well!

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Old 07-12-2012, 12:29 PM   #8
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Re: Why does DD wake every 45 minutes?

Oh my gosh, my son did the same thing from about 4 months until 8 months when I finally laid down the law and did some sleep training. I was exhausted beyond exhaustion, the sleep deprivation for me was real and wasn't getting any help from DH because he needed to be rested to go to work the next day. So we did CIO based on the Wiesbluth method which you can read about in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" if you're interested in going that route. Being an AP board, you're not going to find many mama's supportive of CIO. But what I've learned as a FTM is that you got to do what's best for you and your child without being distracted by unnecessary guilt trips. The fact is that my son was not doing well with AP sleep methods (which I was doing at first) and neither was I, so I chose the sleep method that worked best for us. Both of us were much happier afterwards. Whatever you decide to do about your son's sleep issues, do what works for you.
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Old 07-12-2012, 01:04 PM   #9
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Re: Why does DD wake every 45 minutes?

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Originally Posted by mibarra View Post
I disagree. Both my girls went through this around 8-9 months, so we co-slept, then one day they just stopped.
well thats fine. If the OP is looking for help and not wanting to wait this out any longer, there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe her daughter would stop tomorrow suddenly, but why not just research a few options in case she needs a little extra help?

OP, I know a lot of people do like Happiest Baby on the Block, Baby Whisperer, No Cry Sleep Solution in addition to another that a PP mentioned. There is nothing wrong with reading thru and picking and choosing what works for you. Even if a book is not pro-co sleeping, there still might be a few things that you can gain from it and apply in your own way.
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Old 07-12-2012, 01:18 PM   #10
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Re: Why does DD wake every 45 minutes?

Also wanted to add that we co-sleep... started out CS in our bed all together... which didn't go so well because DDs all kicked like maniacs... I slept fine, but DH did not... so we then used the crib alongside our bed as a co-sleeper because our kids are so tall at birth that they would outgrow an Arm's Reach CS AND because we didn't have the money to buy one... plus, we'd still need a solution for CS w/space for baby once baby outgrew a traditional CS. We removed 1 side to the crib, tied the legs together to the bed frame, & I slept on the small crack between our bed & the crib... worked like a charm for #1.

We did that from the start w/#2 (we had moved so we actually had a larger bedroom & were able to smoosh the crib against the wall (again, w/1 side gone) between our bed & the wall.. worked well for #2 until she got longer & would kick the crib sides & FLIP OUT because she HATED things to touch her feet while sleeping and/or nursing... so we then upgraded to putting a twin bed between our bed & the wall and no more issues... I would nurse her to sleep & then IF I was able to stay awake while nursing her, I would roll into our bed so as to give her plenty of space... I found the nights I fell asleep right next to her she woke more often... if I managed to stay awake long enough & got into our bed fully (so her bed wasn't being moved while I slept), she did sleep for longer stretches.

Like another mama here, DH had to get up in the wee hours for work & had to be fully rested... he uses heavy equipment & drives a lot, so he especially needs to be rested because his life & those around him could be at risk if he were to not be able to function fully... so nighttime was/is 100% up to me & I was OKAY w/that once we figured out the whole co-sleeping thing...

We struggled at 1st though because w/DD1 DH insisted I put her in a cradle next to our bed (because everybody said she would get SPOILED!!)... which meant I had to STAY AWAKE while nursing every hour or so all night long... well, DH kept waking up to find me sleeping while sitting up against the wall (we have no headboard so we use the wall) & DD sleeping in my arms... that freaked him out... I never dropped her or came close to it, but he came to his senses... then in came the crib as a co-sleeper which gave me a new lease on my sleeping & ability to fully function the next day.

W/#3 we had the twin bed set up from #2 still as we transitioned #2 to a bed w/ODD before #3 came... we are now working on the same situation for the arrival of #4. #3 has always been a much better sleeper from the start... she has slept better than ODDs... she had her waking times of every 15 mins too some nights, don't get me wrong, but she has just slept better overall. I noticed she also sleeps much better if I scooch a bit away from her while CS... I can still reach out & touch her, I am just over the bed crack though so when I move she doesn't move too... but I don't always make it into my bed over the crack because I am usually so stinken tired & crash as she does.

I tried CIO 1 time as a FTM... because someone told me I HAD to for MY sanity & for her to LEARN to put herself to sleep ... I laid #1 in her crib (before we started using it as a CS) & stood right where she couldn't see me, but I could see her... she cried for 1 minute & my heart broke into a million pieces... she was getting louder & more upset... after just 1 min I picked her up & she was doing that shuddering thing kids/people do when they cry hard.. after 1 minute (maybe even less)! I was bawling too & yelled to DH who was on the phone w/whomever it was who was insisting we let DD CIO that THERE WAS NO WAY that was right... I was her mama & not going to ignore my child when she needed me... we never looked back. That was prior to DH getting on board w/the crib as a CS in our room... he has given me grief off & on about CS because others would give him grief when they saw a crib in our room or NO crib in DDs room ... grrrrrrrrrrr!!!! LOL Overall, he has been on board because he saw the amazing difference in my personality & functionality when we were CS, all had our own space (baby in crib w/no side or on twin bed and DH & me in our bed while I was still only inches from baby & able to tend to every need.

The other mamas are right about doing what is right for YOU & YOUR baby... trust your gut, but be sure not to let others make you 2nd guess your intuition.... I struggled w/that for quite a while... & now I am like in my head when people tell me how my kids will be so screwed up from nursing past infancy, CS, etc... AND then in the next breath they comment how HAPPY the kids are, well mannered, etc... yep, but we are screwing them up !?!

Anyway, find what works for you... try what you need to, but don't set anything in stone so you don't feel so overwhelmed like you can't change your mind or try something else if whatever else isn't working. Will your DD go back to sleep w/out getting hysterical if you just let her stir for a while?? Man, do I know the boobaholic kiddo!! LOL LOL Hang in there !!
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