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Old 07-16-2012, 10:42 PM   #1
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Gah! MIL battles about EC!

So we have been doing EC since ODD was 8 mos. old, sometimes more diligently than others, but I like to at least do one pee/poop in the potty per day. MIL thinks I'm insane. She has snapped at me repeatedly about how emotionally and mentally "harmful" it is and just plain will not agree to disagree about it. Well, we're at my in laws this week (and may be moving in with them for a bit if dh doesn't get a job offer soon) and YDD just woke up crying with a dry diaper. Well, I made the mistake of giving her a bottle of water instead of milk and not turning off/down the lights before bringing her into the living room. So a tantrum began. MIL comes tromping out mid-tantrum (well toward the end actually) and snaps at me asking "do you really think she's gonna pee? I don't understand why you do this!" I told her I know we do and have done things differently but that I didn't want to argue with her and would rather leave the room if that was what she was trying to do. Well, she told me not to wake MY other child with MY child's screaming and tromped back into her room.

I am so flustered right now! I feel like every time I start to get along with her she criticizes my patenting again and it leaves me feeling very judged and unloved. Grr.. Ok, rant over! Thanks for listening. EC is so easy at home, but I hate having to defend my choice to do it repeatedly when I'm around others.


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Old 07-16-2012, 11:28 PM   #2
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Re: Gah! MIL battles about EC!

I don't do it, but I totally agree that you shouldn't have to explain OR defend your parenting decisions to anyone, as long as you're not hurting your children....which, you CLEARLY are not! It really irritates me when people assume that they have the right to involve themselves. My MIL is constantly sending me articles and things about, "How to Handle Little Liars" (my DD is 2...doesn't even know how to lie yet!), or she sent me this huge long write up about how people in France parent, and how inferior we are to them, blah blah blah. Then, for months after, she will constantly ask if I've read them and if I'm referring to them and implementing their ways into how I parent! Gah!! Anyway, sorry mama, I know it gets frustrating, and it makes it hard to be nice to people like that! Just keep doing what works for your family, and don't let her change you!
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Old 07-17-2012, 12:41 AM   #3
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Re: Gah! MIL battles about EC!

I think a lot of older people associate early pottying with methods like punishing accidents or strapping kids to potties, and they don't really get gentle ec'ing. If you MIL is seeing you do it regularly, she *should* see the difference, but if she's learned that early potty training is bad because some people have done it in a bad way, she may just be sticking with that theory in spite of what she sees. But yeah, sounds like she's said her peace and now she needs to just leave you alone
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Old 07-17-2012, 01:24 AM   #4
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Re: Gah! MIL battles about EC!

I think you should keep doing what you're doing and hopefully MIL will either get with the program or butt out.

I'm fortunate that my MIL is completely supportive of our EC-ing and will take DD potty when she babysits. My mother, on the other hand, is ridiculous. She says, right after seeing DD pee or poop on her potty that she's "too young to know what she's doing."
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Old 07-17-2012, 08:26 PM   #5
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Re: Gah! MIL battles about EC!

Oh I know how that goes. I am living with my MIL while we wait for DH to finish MOS school, then we will move when he gets stationed where ever. She doesn't understand half the things I do, but she's reasonable, and asks my reason for it calmly, and we get past it. But a lot of times it's like talking to a brick wall. Like how she refuses to take DD potty, so I just have to stay with my baby.
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