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Old 07-18-2012, 05:32 PM   #51
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

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Hah, we talked about the "shower" situation. I said, how common is it for boys to peep on other males genitals? You went to highschool did you notice anyone staring other guys down? Or making fun of someone for any reason related to their penis." He said he couldn't remember, I said because it didnt happen

He said, "do you know 50 guys not circ'ed" I said i wouldnt know its not a hot topic to have with male friends, and regardless they're from the same generation as you, and it was the norm 26 years ago. Standards, and norms change as time progresses.

I'm "happy" with where we are at this point, that regardless we have agreed we are not doing it in the hospital. I feel that's 3/4th of the arguement taken care of. Since he agreed there won't be any animosity and i wont have to veto his "opinion" .
There are more than 50 intact boys that are children of women on this board, those are going to be your son's peers not dudes your husband knows now.

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Old 07-18-2012, 05:50 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by Leah52

There are more than 50 intact boys that are children of women on this board, those are going to be your son's peers not dudes your husband knows now.
Extremely good point!
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Old 07-18-2012, 06:10 PM   #53
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

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i would also find a new dr
This town and surrounding area and my insurance don't mesh very well. It's nothing like I'm used too, thats for sure.

Unless paying out of pocket there is no way to find another doctor. I had 4 choices in providers/practices. 2 of which no longer do OB care at all. One only does OB care (does not deliver), but then the doctor (practice) I'm now seeing does all of his deliveries. This is the first time I met the possible delivering physician (at 31 weeks pregnant). I routinely see his nurse practitioner at a satellite office. There is also a chance that he won't deliver me anyways. They have another doctor and midwife who does deliveries for the practice, and I guess it's a luck of who is on call. And I know it seems "crazy" but doctor's don't tend to do much work during delivery they come in last second and catch the baby and sign their name on a birth certificate. As long as I have a good nurse I'll be happy.
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Old 07-18-2012, 06:33 PM   #54
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

Actually the best person to do this would be a plastic surgeon. They are about preservation. Someone close to me had it done by a urologist at a young age and it was a butcher job.
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Old 07-18-2012, 09:46 PM   #55
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

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My husband left it up to me. He said that if there are any ill effects in the future it will be on me! Like if he 'gets made fun of' in the locker room it will be my fault. Just straight tell him you aren't getting it done unless he can come up with a good enough reason to do it and 'because everyone else does it' isn't a good reason.
This is pretty much what I told my dh. When he took the time to look into it he came up with nothing, and agreed it was best not to do it. So sorry OP.... I hope he decides to take a better look at this..
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Old 07-18-2012, 09:59 PM   #56
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

I pretty much ended up just saying 'no, I can't do it' I knew I would regret it every.single.day of my life if I let DH choose and I went along with it. Now DS is 4.5, intact, perfectly healthy, no problems (wasn't expecting any, noone circs in NZ where I come from!) and DH is an intactivist! don't give in mama!
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Old 07-19-2012, 07:37 AM   #57
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mama. I was EXACTLY where you are. You need to have this decided before you go into labor. You are the only one fighting for your little boy, he can't speak for himself right now so please stand up for him and his body.

My dh agreed to not circ only b/c he knew I felt much stronger for keeping him intact than he did about circ'ing. His only reasons were ridiculous, the stupid locker room comparison, the he won't look like me, etc. Hygiene isn't any issue since we regularly bathe with soap and water. He still thinks he should have been cut and I'm so glad I stayed strong to protect my son. I was NOT going to circ just b/c "everyone else does."

Has he seen a video?
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Old 07-19-2012, 07:39 AM   #58
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It needs to be a family decision between you and your husband, not a diaperswappers decision. BUT, if you are not comfortable with the doctor and how it is done, I absolutely would not have that person do it and would go to someone else.
It isn't a DS decision. She's asking for advice and support.
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Old 07-19-2012, 09:49 AM   #59
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

All I can say is !!! Last night he agreed to watch the Penn and Teller episode with me. Well, that went over really well. NOT!!! He spent the whole time saying dumb things under his breath, rolling his eyes. It was painful to get through, but I thought, "we'll keep watching it just in case something said gets through to him." Well, that didn't happen at all.

Then we got into the mopst heated debate/ arguement we've ever had! until he finally said, "it doesn't matter anyways because if I can't convince you to change your mind. The choice is solely left up to you, and I think it's BS! I lose automatically." (I pointed out if you needed 2 parental consents it's absolutely no different because once again I wouldn't sign)

I told him this isn't about losing or winning, and how am I winning if apparrently you feel like your son is deformed by the end of the day. So, he'll have a dad disgusted by the way he looks. Sounds like I'm winning!

Can I pray this baby comes out a girl?
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Old 07-19-2012, 10:04 AM   #60
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

Sorry you are having trouble getting through to him. In the end it's not you are your DH who 'wins' it's your son

Maybe remind him that your son can always choose to have it done later but he can't choose to have it UNdone.
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